Day 331: Melting Inside

Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year.

I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard.

Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Sending love from the woods.

Day 330: A Message For Monday

A short little message for Monday! Sending you good vibes for a great week. Hang in there, we’ll get through this!

Go for a walk.

Get some fresh air.

Feel the sun on your face.

The wind in your hair.

Day 329: Winter Wonderland of Snow

The air is so crisp! It’s about -10 today and the wind is fierce. After watching a few episodes of The Wilds on Prime, we ventured out on the lake. It’s 100% frozen thick with a few inches of snow. Quite the workout walking in such deep snow! There’s a couple of ice huts out for fishing and heaps of snowmobile tracks.

My hair is a total mess and I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday but I feel good, rested. Thankfully my warm winter coat was here because it’s freezing! I booked off a couple of days this week to recharge my batteries and I hope to spend a few hours sewing. I love the cottage so much.

Sean and I managed to finish the entire first season of The Wilds in one day, what a commitment. Ha! I guess it was a good show…? I’d probably watch S2 if it was available. I find my standards of good tv have dropped during the pandemic, I’ll watch just about anything these days. Even better if there’s more than one season!

What will I watch next? I know, I know, life isn’t that exciting right now, ok! ?

Casie Stewart, signature, iPad Pro.

Day 328: Cozy Cottage

It was so nice to come back to Muskoka last night. We made a fire, watched Netflix and had a cozy cottage night.

Spent almost all of Saturday lazing around, eating snacks and watching shows. We all need to give ourselves a break, relax, and take time to recharge our batteries.


Day 327: The Sun is a Star

The weather this week has been so nice. I’ve gone on some great long walks. met up with Aisha on Wednesday to go for a distanced walk with her and Kermit, her cute pup.

We started out a warm drink and followed the sun walking around the Junction. I swear, every time I see a friend lately, I jump and scream, hugging myself to show how much I’d hug them if it wasn’t a pandemic.

The sun is a star and so are you, don’t forget it.

Each day we have more minutes of daylight, and in a few weeks, we’ll have another hour. Before we know it, daylight saving time will kick in on March 14th and spring will be here close.

Kermit is so cute, he’s 5 months old and has a lot of energy. The fluffy fur!

Day 326: Built My Own Little Fire

I was slow getting outside this morning, posted something on IG, listened to the radio, put on my running gear. I didn’t realize how windy it was and walked out the front door. It hurt my face. I turned around, then back around again & just went for it. My headphones weren’t connecting to music on my watch so I ran into the wind away, from the sun, in silence. Who needs an ice roller when you have -5 air with a windchill hitting your face? I nearly turned back a few times.

Heard a noise from my headphones and connected them to a playlist of happy tunes. I didn’t give up ran to the end of the path. On my way back the sun was on my face I felt my toes start to warm up. I even unzipped my leopard print jacket a little. ‘Stand by Me’ came on and it was like the cold wasn’t there anymore. I started to heat up, built my own little fire inside. I kept running to finish the 2k I set out to do. Got home just after 9 am, ready to start the day. I feel good. Energized.

Wearing a new sweater from Zara Kids that matches perfectly with one of the first scrunchies I made in the summer. Wearing jeans these days feels so fancy haha.

Next week I’m heading back to the cottage with Sean and took a few days off work to reflect & recenter myself. I can’t wait.

Day 325: Sleep Goal Achieved

Yesterday I was so exhausted. After watching Y&R (as usual) from 4:30-5:30, I put on my pajamas, washed my face, and got ready for bed. Had a couple of phone chats with friends and finished S2 of BONDiNG on Netflix. Good show, it’s about a Femme Domme, a comedian, and their relationships.

Got an advance copy of a new book on Kindle via NetGalley called ‘The Girls Are All So Nice Here‘. It’s a suspense thriller about two best friends and comes out on March 9th, 2021. This month I’m determined to read more books, I read heaps at the start of the Pani and fell off my reading game over the summer.

I did a Peloton sleep meditation before bed last night and woke up feeling refreshed. According to my watch, I slept 9 hours & 24 minutes and my average sleep per night has increased in the past 14 days. I’ve really been loving the Calm SleepStories but decided to switch it up, I know, WILD.

I used to stay up late but given the current circumstances, I figure I might as well get as many ZZZs as possible and make some new habits. I’ve been finding it harder to get up in the morning so I’m actively trying to fall asleep earlier. If I get a good 8 hours, as the days get longer, I’ll feel more like doing my morning workouts.


Day 324: A New Look for Twitter

Billboard in NYC of a Tweet that says: Using Twitter is like dipping your toes into an ocean of human beings.

Something a little different today, not a story about me but about my fav social media platform. I’ve been on Twitter since 2008 and it has brought so much joy to my life, jobs, friendships, opportunity, laughs, and knowledge. It’s helped me through so many important moments in my life and career over the last decade. ILY TWITTER!

This morning I received a DM from a friend at The Nest (aka Twitter HQ) about a new look for Twitter, how they’re taking an ‘art-first’ approach to the new design, and how they got there. Part of this includes a brand new font called Chirp!

I was curious what this new, more raw, and artistic approach means for Canadians and got a quote from Laura Pierce, head of marketing for Twitter Canada.

“Our new look emphasizes the bold range of content and conversation you find on Twitter, paired with the real and unfiltered nature of our service,”

“For Canada, this is going to be reflected by not only the type of content you’re seeing from our Twitter Canada account but also, the ways we’re communicating with our partners, press and the millions of Canadians who use Twitter every day. We recognize that Twitter as a brand is complex and imperfect but also expressive, agile and ever-changing. This shows in the new look and feel.”

Laura Pearce, head of marketing, Twitter Canada.

If you’re interested to see what else is new on the platform, check out the Twitter Blog here. This would also be a great time to remind you to follow me on Twitter!

Day 323: Elon Musk on Clubhouse

I set an alarm to wake up for this at 1am! Am I crazy? Idk but I don’t want to miss Elon Musk on Clubhouse for the first time.

I hope I can get into the room before it fills up tonight! If you’re on Clubhouse you can find the Good Time Club & room details here.

I love this app.

Update: I woke up at 1:30 am, the room was full! It capped out at 5,000 people, then Clubhouse upped it so that the CEO of Robinhood could join, then Elon Musk interviewed him about GameStop. WILD! I listened from a secondary room that was playing the audio, it sounded like an iPhone in a Solo cup when you don’t have a speaker. Not great but it was cool to hear some of it and be ‘there’, kinda. I listened for about half an hour until falling back asleep. I was so tired on Monday, all day!

Day 322: Saturday Sun

I had been looking forward to this day all week! April and I planned to go for a big walk in the sun and it was GLORIOUS. I started out from my place in the Junction Triangle, met her Dundas West, then we went to Kensington. I hadn’t been in that area for ages since being at the cottage for most of the pandemic.

It was pretty busy there so we grabbed a quick coffee, kept our masks on, and headed to Queen Street. Since we aren’t able to gather with friends right now, we were hoping to run into people we knew along the way, and we certainly did! It was so nice to catch up with a few random friends neither of us had seen in ages.

We continued west on Queen to Parkdale and I walked back home to the West Toronto Rail Path. I did about 19,000 steps!

Once I got home I changed into loungewear and parked myself on the couch for the afternoon. Amazing how a big walk & heaps pf fresh air will tucker you out.

Day 321: Pandemic Fatigue

Feeling pandemic fatigue today. Thinking back to summer days, long walks with friends, patio hangouts in the sun. Flowing dresses and warm nights.

It’s almost February, the shortest month, march will be here before we know it. We’re getting close to one year of the pandemic, 365 days, and nearly 365 blog posts. I’m so glad to have kept this diary but in my heart, I’m dreaming about covering events, movie premieres, galas, park hangs, and media previews again. I’ve learned a lot and grown heaps the past year but I miss the way things used to be. I’m looking forward to the day when the lockdown is over and we move through life a little more grateful for everything we have.

Sending love, stay safe. Miss you. xo

Day 320: Panini, Panoramic, Patricia

Quiet day working at home. Very cold out today. Made pizza from General Assembly I picked up from Henderson Brewery. Sean comes back tomorrow.

One of my fav things lately is people’s nicknames for the pandemic. There’s a whole bunch of funny videos of people on TikTok calling it a pany, panini, panoramic, Patricia. Idk why but I find it hilarious despite the pandemic but being funny at all.

DAY 319: That Sister Connection is Real

Today I felt like I needed some summer vibes in my life so I braided my hair and put on a yellow sweater. Was the first time I did this style since summer when I used to braid my hair all the time. It wasn’t until later in the day that I posted a photo of my hair on Twitter and I know for sure that my sister didn’t see it. Well, do you know what? Jenie called me at night and said she braided her hair today too, her first time since summer.

I can’t tell you how many times we have shown up in almost identical outfits or done something super random like this on the same day. We aren’t twins but I am 100% convinced the universe has us intertwined with a sister connection.

That’s all for today, just a little positive story. Appreciate the little things my friends!

Day 318: Charged Up by The Sun

I am so glad I left the house for a walk yesterday because today we’re in a snow storm. It was so beautiful out. Before returning home, I took about 10 minutes to sit in direct sunlight and soak it up. I’m charged up by the sun!

I took a trip to the local post office to send out a few packages filled with love. My intention was to send out holiday cards but I didn’t get there, so I decided to ship valentines instead.

I can’t wait for everyone to get their mail! Last year I sent out a bunch of handmade friendship bracelets and it was such a nice way to connect with friends from afar. Also, everyone loves mail that’s not bills, right?! Hoping to send out a few more before Feb. 14th. Some of these will arrive a *bit* early but that doesn’t matter. Who knows what day it is anymore lol.