Day 12: Baking & BBQ

I swear if it wasn’t for this quarantine diary I would have no idea what day it is. It’s hard to believe we’ve been up here for over a week already, the days have started to mesh together. I’d have a hard time thinking about what I did to pass the time if I didn’t write it down. via GIPHY This morning Sean let me run with him which he has never done before. I only went to the end of the road & back which is 1.25km, he continued for about 6k. At the gym I used to run 1-2km, it felt nice to be back. I’m on track to get 40Km this month. These little goals are really keeping me stay motivated. Taking a break from beers & hangouts today. Thinking I’ll try some new recipes, do a bit of work, and relax. I made these amazing black bean brownies. HIGHLY RECOMMEND! We made steak & potatoes on the BBQ for dinner with a salad. It was nice to sit at the table together. I heated up a couple of brownies & added dairy-free chocolate fudge ice cream for dessert. Sean painted my nails for me after the disaster manicure I did yesterday. He did a pretty good job! I have limited supplies here so the colour selections are very limited. ? I haven’t been talking much about COVID19. We can all read the news and it’s anxiety-inducing to stay on it all day. It doesn’t look like the curve is flattening and it seems to just be climbing. As of today, Canada has 27 deaths and last week the first death was recorded in the Muskoka region where the person died at Barrie hospital. Adding this to my diary so I can look back, once this is…

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Day 7: Give Yourself a Break

It’s raining and I woke up feeling tired. It could be the weighted anxiety blanket we’ve all been carrying or it’s the beers. Today, I’m giving myself a break from the routine, schedule, and everything to be in my feelings. Yes, there is a BBQ behind me in these photos. The other night I watched two movies and sat by myself at the kitchen table cutting out words from magazines. I use to love cut & paste to make art so I figured why not give it a go. It’s still kinda fun and I picked so many good words in great fonts, not sure the next steps at this point. ? The green/white thing is a digital thermometer I was sent a couple of years ago. I’ve been checking our temperatures each day. I checked Amazon for a link to it and the price is over $685 right now for a product that’s about $120. Whoa. How do I feel? Uncertain. Unsure. Idk how to feel about all this, it’s hard to process. Today I realized there might not be anymore Young & The Restless for the first time in 40 years. I know this is a bit silly when you think about the real issue but it was like a wake-up call. I’ve been watching this show my whole life. Looking back to the things I was thinking about this time last week, the world has drastically changed. Last Friday was my last time at the gym, I had a lunch meeting at Drake Commissary, and walked freely around in my neighborhood. I probably should have stayed home now that I think about it. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Craft Boner (@craftboner) on Mar 17, 2020 at 2:56pm PDT Today I’m giving myself permission…

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Day 2: Isolation

We made the decision to come up to the cottage and make it our work from home space. We have a stocked fridge and fireworks. The fire is heating the cottage and we’ve got the water turned on. This morning in the city I went for a run outside (no gym!) and it gave me so much joy that almost every person I passed gave a little wave and a smile. We’re all in this together. The cottage isn’t fully winterized so each time we come up for a stretch of time in the winter we have to clean everything, put the water in, turn the fridge back on, and remove the shutters from the window, among other things. It takes about an hour to get the place liveable and then about two more hours to get fully set up. Sean’s workspace is in the living room while I work in the kitchen. It’s nice to have our own spaces to focus on the work we need to get done. We spend almost 2 weeks up here each summer and a week at Christmas so we know how to make it work. We’re not sure how long we’ll be at the cottage with everything going on. Emily is at her mum’s this week and we might have her up here with us next week. I packed all my old drives to sort through, my favourite books, a stockpile of beauty products, and my most cozy outfits. Being here makes it a bit easier to socially distance myself from the news. At home, I had CP24 on non-stop, or the radio, and was constantly scrolling. At the cottage, I find it easier to put my phone down and focus on work, being creative, or making things in the kitchen. I was…

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Day 1: Social Distancing

It’s not often that I have nothing to say. I’m not sure how to handle everything that’s going on. It’s hard to believe this is happening. I feel like hitting pause on everything because our health is really what matters. How can life continue in any normal way? But things do continue like payments and deadlines. It’s hard to take a break when you need to monitor the situation. You know you should look away but you can’t because it’s right here affecting everything you do. On the computer, in your email, on social media, tv, every time you go to the fridge and think about your food. I should do something to make myself feel better. I haven’t gone to the gym in a couple of days and I don’t want to lose my mojo. I finally got it going after a struggle up fitness hill. Today I made a nice curry and cooked some of our favourites. Did a face mask and a hair mask but it didn’t take away the knot of anxiety in my chest. Last winter I spent a lot of time at home because of my injury and the insane amount of ice outside. Since then, I really benefitted from the work I did around the house during that time. I completely moved my room around so I had a nice workspace, organized my closet, sorted every bin, reorganized the cupboards, spice drawer. It gave me sanity in a time where I felt I couldn’t go anywhere and I didn’t feel like myself. It was hard but I made it through and learned a lot about myself in the process. I’ve been trying not to touch my face if I’m outside and it’s really hard to not touch your face. I wish I had…

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Beat Winter SAD: Sweat!

Since making exercise part of my life over the last few months, I’ve started to crave the feeling I get from working out. Each night I lay out my gym stuff and look forward to going each morning. I wrote a bit about my fitness journey here and once I started to see results, it motivated me to keep going. I’m committed to not letting this winter give me seasonal affective disorder like last year, I never want to get that way again. I’m sure there will be sad days here and there (there deff are), but I know I can fight it with fitness. Today’s tip to beat Winter SAD is to SWEAT. Find a class, get a YouTube video going, download Nike Training club, dance, or jump around. Do something to get yourself moving, create endorphins, get your brain high on body moment. My Fav Apps & Fitness Resources I like the NTC app for exercises and the NRC app for running. I often do Yoga with Adrienne on Youtube or find workouts on Pinterest. There are so many free resources available online if you don’t have a gym membership. If you are in GTA and want a workout buddy to try a class, ask me anytime! I love hanging with friends and movement makes us all feel good. You got this, we can beat winter SAD!

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Beat Winter SAD: 50 Self-care Ideas

Self-care can legit mean just about anything these days. For me, there are a lot of things I like to do and sometimes it’s as simple as putting away that pile of clothes or saying no to leaving the house. I made a list of things I like to do for myself, usually on a Sunday to prep for the week. Self-care is taking a few moments to yourself to do something for yourself, which makes you feel good and alleviate stress. Thankfully this winter hasn’t been as brutal as last year’s super cold months where everything was covered in ice. The 2019 winter blues really got me down and I am trying to best to make this winter not seem as dark, lonely, and depressing. It may seem like I am out on the town quite a bit but I assure you, it’s usually not for long. I love staying at home. I love hair masks, face masks, exfoliating, nice lotion, naps, cooking, and doing things inside the house. I started this list to make 10 things but kept going and now there are 50. Most of these you can do without leaving your house of opening your wallet. I added a shoppable section at the bottom in case you want to grab any of my favorites via Amazon Prime. If you are feeling down, do one little thing each day to bring happiness into your life. You DESERVE it. Treat yourself!

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Beat Winter SAD: Book a Staycation

We are almost through January and the countdown to spring is ON! OK, it’s 50 days, and yes I’m counting. I’m really working on finding ways to make this winter not seem as long, cold, or depressing as 2019. Last week, I shared a post about beating winter Seasonal Affective Disorder by taking a vacation. This week, I’m sharing an AWESOME recommendation for a staycation. Sean and I spent a relaxing ~24-hours at Hotel X Toronto in downtown Toronto and it was a really nice mini-getaway. If you’d like to see more of my stay in video, check out my Staycation highlight on Instagram. I magically picked the BEST day for a staycation because we had a major snowstorm that morning. I arrived at noon for a hot yoga class and to see the amenities before checking in at 3pm. From the moment you walk in the hotel, it feels luxurious. It makes for a great staycation because there are lots of plants, several restaurants, a great gym, and amenities, meaning you don’t have to leave the hotel. There’s also a kid’s play center if you have little ones. I have added the Guerlain Spa to my ‘must visit‘ list for next time. Hotel X Toronto definitely has a resort-type feel. There’s a pool on the roof that I imagine is absolutely stunning in the summer. Yes, I did test it out in the winter. Scroll down!

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My Fitness Journey (So Far)

Let me start this by staying I felt like complete shit for a lot of last year. Behind the many smiling selfies, I was in pain, depressed, and trying to ignore nerve damage in half of my face. I had been treating my body like garbage with alcohol, bad food, no sleep, and something had to change. I gained a bunch of weight and after being small my whole life, I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t live like that anymore. For a lot of 2009-2019 I went to multiple events a week, sometimes several per night. I was always on the go. I ate like crap and drank multiple times a week. When I hit my 30’s, my body changed, I gained weight, then I had a breast reduction, nearly broke my back w/ two cracked back ribs, and closed out the decade with a fractured my collarbone. A lot of good things happened in the last decade too but I’ve already shared that stuff. For years I dreamed of being a better me, one who ate healthier, felt good in a bathing suit, had longer hair, and genuine happiness that shined out of her face. That’s who I wanted to be so I started doing things differently. From September to January, I lost 20+Lbs and man does it ever make a difference. I’m saving time every day by not stressing over my clothes not fitting. I feel mentally and physically stronger. I have more energy and I’m happier. Here’s the low down on how I get here and I feel confident that I will stick to it this time because I love the way I feel. ? Fasting August 2019 I started intermittent fasting, 8hrs eating window (noon-8pm) and fasting the rest of the day. I started to feel healthier,…

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Did You Lose Yourself?

I think I found her. I had to go on a journey but the fire is starting to burn again and it’s lighting up the sky.

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YOU GLOW GIRL!

Today was a great day. Opened the windows, 8 degrees in November. Did a corporate talk on social media first thing in the morning. Rode my bike in the sun. Had a great chat with mum. Met with an author I’ve been following for years. Explored an old, recently renovated building I’ve been curious about. Had a couple great calls. Was at the gym before everything. It’s amazing to feel so different after working out for a couple weeks, eating well, and not really drinking. Glad I didn’t wait till 2020 to kick start my glow up! I feel like a sunshine! Sildenafil no prescription Buy Plavix Buy ventolin inhaler online Nexium no prescription

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If You Want Change, You Have to Be Willing to Be Uncomfortable

I had such a great day yesterday! My heart is warm with kind messages from friends all over after sharing about the last year. I was kinda scared to post how it’s been hard but it was a weight I need to lift off my chest. I’m thankful to have a supportive gang around me and grateful to the internet for bringing us together. I tried a hot yoga class at Solis Movement that included infrared heat and let me tell ya, IT WAS VERY HOT. I loved it. We were all dripping with sweat! Feeling a bit of the burn today but highly recommend checking it out. It’s located in Etobicoke and a great way to warm yourself up and get moving on a cold day. Since I’ve been going to the gym regularly, I’m starting to really love the feeling I get from it. This winter I am 100% open to trying any workout class and am *actually* making use of my gym membership. FRIENDS AND PR PEOPLE PLS INVITE ME ANYTIME! ??? Writing this from St. Joseph’s Health Centre Hospital in the X-ray waiting area. Hopefully, this is my last visit and I can put this injury behind me. UPDATE: All cleared to not come back. The bone is broken but held in place by my ligaments. No need for surgery. Pretty weird but also kind of amazing? ??‍♀️ I have often said I’m ready for a bionic arm one day because of tennis elbow in this same arm, guess now it will go up to the shoulder. Lol. Ok bye! ?? Sending love! P.S. The title is via my burrito yesterday from Thrive Organic LOL Buy Aciphex fucidin no prescription buy Fluoxetine without prescription buy Fluoxetine no prescription

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The Caterpillar

I know it’s been a minute. I swear I’ve started posts and just haven’t been able to finish them. I’m in a cocoon stage right now now. I am the caterpillar.  I’m working on myself. I’ve been going to the gym, eating healthy, getting good sleep. This past year I really suffered from burnout. I’ve spent more than the last decade updating the world and the internet with my life and tbh, I’m tired. I need to find myself again.  I’m excited about the winter incubation to stay home, work on myself, and emerge in the spring a strong, beautiful butterfly. Looking into 2020, I want to start the year feeling refreshed. 2020 is going to be the year of ME. Thank you Indigo for these cute snaps from their holiday preview today. There were so many nice things I’ll be ordering a few online (with Rakuten of course!). A couple of people asked about my hat this morning and it was a total STEAL from Amazon, buy it here. In other news, I have a great post coming with my fav books I’ve read this year (there are a lot!). AND another post with the new Roomba we got for the office, it CLEANS THE FLOOR. Hope your week is off to a great start. Sending love across the internet to your screen, from mine.

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A Morning Walk for Good Health

As part of my 4-month test of AfterShokz Trekz Air, I’m sharing how I’ve grown to really love these headphones. Also, save $50!

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Get a Ticket for #IMakeALiving w/ FreshBooks

Next month, I’m speaking at FreshBooks #IMakeALiving event at the Burroughes. I’ve been following this series since it started and have been a few times. They bring together creatives from different industries to talk about how they make money, challenges, and lessons learned. You will leave feeling motivated and inspired. #imakealiving: creating a genuine brand in the digital world Our panel on March 27th brings together some great people and we’ll be talking about creating a brand in a digital world. Lots to discuss here! Tickets are free, get one here! Topics for the Night Building an online business Creating an online community Projecting your persona Creating authenticity in the digital space Measuring ROI from impressions and reach Finding the right social platform for your business About #IMakeALiving The #imakealiving event is returning to Toronto for the 4th time to bring together a diverse group of creatives, entrepreneurs and small business owners for a lively, candid and often hilarious conversation. Part small business boot camp, part group therapy you’ll leave feeling inspired and motivated. Plus, you’ll get lots of actionable insights to take you and your business to the next level. After the discussion, the event opens up for networking & drinks – a great opportunity for you to meet like-minded folks! If you’re not familiar with FreshBooks cloud accounting, check out freshbooks.com. I’ve been a customer for 5+ and use them to do all my invoicing! Look forward to seeing you! LMK if you get a ticket!

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Review: AfterShokz – Trekz Air, Wireless Bone Conduction Headphones

A few weeks ago I was looking for wireless headphones, I wanted something to wear to the gym but I wasn’t sure if I wanted noise cancelling or something else. There was a whole debate about what’s better on my Facebook page and I ended up ordering a pair of noise cancelling but they made everything…too quiet! I’m rarely in a situation where I want to silence everything, I feel safer when I can hear. I like to know what’s going on around me when I’m walking around outside, working out, or in transit. Then something great happened! I got asked to review AfterShokz headphones with bone conduction technology in a program with PTPA. Over the next 4 months, I’ll be testing out the headphones in my daily life and sharing my experience. I was really keen to try how bone-conducting headphones work and the technology behind them. First Impression I can tell you right now that my first day I was pretty blown away. The cool thing is, since AfterShokz headphones don’t go IN your ear, you can still hear your music, a podcast, an emergency siren, or someone calling your name in the office. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I’m really quite into them, plus you can hardly notice when they’re on. [Don’t mind my hair it’s so wild right now!] Comfort Comfort is a big factor for me and these are small and lightweight, you can hardly feel you’re wearing them. I’m not that into earbuds, I’ve found most of them uncomfortable in the past. I feel like a bit of a dork telling you this but there’s been a few times I’ve had them on, forgot I was wearing them, then wondered where the music was coming from. Ha! They come with a handy carrying…

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Easy Ways to UP YOUR MOOD in Winter

I don’t know if I’ve ever spent so much time at home, inside the house, as I have the past month and during the Polar Vortex. Thankfully, today our upstairs patio door is no longer frozen shut but winter is far from over. Long winters like these are often hard to get through and the constant dull weather can really bring down your mood. If you’re feeling stir crazy or craving some something to boost your mood, here are a few things I like to do to make me feel happier when the SAD kicks in. Home Spa Love yourself and self-care your mood to a higher frequency with a little time, DIY beauty hacks, and products. You don’t need heaps of money or fancy stuff to pamper yourself like the queen you are. I love doing masks and usually get them from Shoppers. Also recommend checking out the beauty section of Winners, they almost always have a good selection at a great price. I got this set of metallic masks to nourish, brighten, and hydrate plus an applicator brush there the other day for $7! ? I Pinned a few DIY recipes with ingredients you probably have on hand here or scan the pin code in the Pinterest App. Make a quick body scrub by mixing your used coffee grounds with coconut oil. Or make a simple lip sugar scrub with and a combination of white/brown sugar plus olive oil/coconut oil/honey, with peppermint, lemon, grapefruit, lavender, or activated charcoal to brighten. My mum makes a GREAT, thick, face cream with marigold, frankincense from New Direction Aeromatics. I love it! Light Therapy This helps to boost your mood, deal with SAD, and can (not an expert!) help depression. I have the Phillips Hue light system in my room that includes Hue…

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Hall of Fame – 3 Things I Told the Graduating Class

On Friday my closest family members gathered at mum’s house (same house I great up in) to join me at my old high school in Cambridge to speak to the graduating class. I was indicated to the Hall of Fame, joining the ranks of some of Preston High School‘s most esteemed graduates. So cool!  Two of my old classmates Scott Thorman (Atlanta Braves) and Nathan Brannen (3x Olympian) are also in the HOF and were in the same graduating class. It was so weird/cool bring back there. I think the last time I walked those halls it was my very own commencement. My sister reminded me that the kids graduating in 2018 were born the year I graduated. Omg wtf, where did the time go!  I remember being in high school and a teacher asking what I want to be when I grow up, I said “Casie Stewart” and they said ‘that’s not a job‘. Well, well there teacher dear, I am here to prove you wrong! I spoke for about 5 minutes and then we went home and had Chinese food takeout. It was perfect. Lots of laughs. I was so grateful to have my parents, sister, fairy godmother, and the rest of the gang there.  3 Things for the Graduating Class Don’t worry about what you want to be when you grow up.  You’re probably going to work in a job that doesn’t exist yet with technology that’s not invented yet.  Don’t stress.  Find what you love and GO FOR IT.  You have so many tools and talents at your fingertips, you can do anything.  Don’t wait, start today, do something every single day that brings you closer to your goal.  When I started my blog I would stay home and work on it every day, my friends made fun of…

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“Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish”

A lot of my experience comes from making mistakes, wrong decisions, with the wrong people. I’ve learned a lot of street smarts this way. A lot of my business smarts comes from school.  I was really into business as a youngster when I made gym bags and sold them to students in grade school. I went to college and university and have no doubt that those experiences gave me the skills I need to do great work. I’m not saying everyone has to go to post-secondary but there you learn a foundation to build on when you’re out in the field. When I  was a teenager, I started a publishing company with a friend, published a book, and was awarded Young Entrepreneur of the city. I’ve done a lot of things since then but what I learned from my business teachers in high school, college, and university is with me every day. When I won that award my high school got a donation to go towards computer equipment which was pretty cool given the internet was just getting started.  Yesterday I got an exciting email. I’ve been chosen as the Preston High School Hall of Fame inductee for 2018. Me! An old friend from dance, who’s a teacher there now, sent me the nicest email about my career and life since PHS. I’m kinda in shock! The PHS Hall of Fame recognizes and celebrates Preston graduates who have made a successful impact in our world and exemplify the spirit and ideals of the school. Well, lady, you have certainly grown yourself, your business, your brand, and your spirit into something really worth celebrating!  I’ve been asked to say a few words at the commencement ceremony next month. I’m excited to be recognized and am looking forward to sharing some words of wisdom with the graduating class. If…

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Getting Higher: Rock Climbing

I’m writing this from the cottage with the lake as my second screen. Last week was a busy one after being away but I love those weeks almost as much because things move fast and it’s motivating.  The other day I went rock climbing with Raymi and some friends at Hub Climbing in Markham. I like rock climbing but it gets harder as you get older haha. My arms were a bit sore this week from wakeboarding and my trainer. I’m chuckling a bit to myself writing this because back in 2001, I was a Sunshine Girl (Toronto Sun) and my bio said I liked ‘baseball, rock climbing, and want to work in marketing‘. At the time I had never gone rock climbing in my life. Safe to say I always knew what I wanted career-wise!  We were invited to check out  Hub Climbing‘s 18,000 sq ft facility with over 200 climbs and bouldering. They’ve got locations in Markham (where we went) and Mississauga where they offer camps, classes, school groups, and yoga. They were very helpful in training us to ‘learn the ropes’, climb safely, and push ourselves to the limits. It’s definitely a fun experience, we had heaps of laughs. Martin from @Studenomics was REALLY good. He scaled the speed wall in under 10 seconds!  Hello, I am a rock climbing bae now.  The thing I like about rock climbing is that you use every muscle in your body including your brain. You have to think strategically about where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Such is life.  Thank you Rob & Hub Climbing for inviting me to climb at your gym. Looking forward to my next visit!  buy bupropion online Buy strattera online http://buywithoutprescriptiononlinerx.net/fluoxetine.html http://rxbuywithoutprescriptiononline.org/citalopram.html

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Why Do We Keep So many Things? Clean it out.

If you’re looking for some motivation, start with clutter around your bedroom, house, kitchen, and clean it out this weekend. You’ll feel heaps better! 

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Sometimes you just need a break.

It’s a great reset to take a break from your everyday life and escape to the woods. Sean and I had 7 whole days alone before welcoming guests on the last weekend. It was an incredible getaway. After my Portugal trip I felt like I needed some time to reset. August is always a time where  I asses the year so far, look at my goals and make a plan for the final quarter. Fitness, mental clarity, more work I enjoy, travel, and balance are key. I hit the ground running w/ my trainer this week and after my first weekend of wakeboarding, it was kinda hard. MY ARMS WERE KILLING YESTERDAY. I’m determined to give it another go this weekend and hone in on my skills. I honestly never thought I would be a gym-loving wakeboard chick but here I AM.  Swipe for video of me wakeboarding (Cory Lee is screaming, not me! haha) Feeling fresh and ready for a great month. Yesterday was my first day back and I’m already moving on a couple exciting things. Next week I have 2 speaking gigs, the public one is at the Apparel Textile Sourcing show and you can register to come here.  Remember, you will never be younger than you are today so make the most of it.  buy Cytotec online https://micgadget.com/wp-content/languages/new/finasteride.html Buy lasix

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The Praries: Ford EcoSport Cross-Canada Tour

This year for Canada Day weekend I was part of the Ford EcoSport cross Canada road trip with Ford Canada. My friend April and I were Leg 14 of the adventure and driving from Regina to Medicine Hat, SK and finishing in Calgary Alerta. It was both our first time in Regina and we had heaps of fun along the adventure. Thank you Ford Canada for this experience! Scroll down to see what we got up to along the way. The Ford Eco Sport Tour involves 14 different content creators each driving the exact same Ford Eco Sport for a relay across the country. When I first received the email I was so excited and even more so that I got to bring a friend! I’d been wanting to go on a trip with April since that great weekend we spent glamping up north a few years back. We started in Regina, SK and it was the first time there for the both of us. We arrived late afternoon and checked into Hotel Saskatchewan, an extremely elegant hotel. Ford hooked us up with a 2 room suite and it was perfect! The hotel offered great views of the city, was walking distance to restaurants and bars, it had a nice gym and a hot tub too. We drove around and made use of the SYNC® 3 with Apple CarPlay™ and FordPass Wifi HotSpot. Instead of doing typical tourist stuff on our road trip, April and I made a point to stop at different vintage and second-hand stores across the two provinces. We love to shop! I’ve always found that shops in small towns are where you really find the gems. Our first stop was T&A Vinyl & Fashion and the owner was so cool. We shopped the vintage finds/records and he gave…

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DONT KILL YOURSELF

Don’t give up. Don’t quit over your job. Don’t die over money. Don’t bottle your feelings up. Don’t stay inside and hide. Don’t give up. Don’t hold it all in. Don’t put on a smile and act like everything is fine when it’s not. Don’t write your last letter. Don’t plan your exit. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t be selfish. Don’t kill yourself.  PLS ASK FOR HELP. Yesterday I posted the suicide hotline after hearing about Kate Spade. I felt sad. Her death was a reminder that no matter how much money, fancy clothes, cars, businesses, health, family, no matter how much you have, you can still have dark thoughts. None of us are immune to feeling like we’re backed into a corner. We all go through love, loss, money, no money, jobs, no jobs, depression, anxiety. Life is hard. No matter how much it seems like someone has a perfect life, THEY DON’T.  They might have an even more fucked up life than you think you do, trust me! We all go through it. We all have days, weeks, months, years when we wonder why we are still doing it, or not making it, or are we just faking it? Life is hard. We’re constantly bombarded with challenges, tests, to see if we can make it to the next level. We all have the strength to deal, to fight, to call on each other, to make it through. You are never alone. There are lots of people around you even though you might not feel like it sometimes. It’s easy to isolate yourself, to put on a smile and act like everything is a-ok when you feel like dying inside. Reach out to someone around you. People care, people at work, home, on Facebook, and right on the other…

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Mammary Memory, Thanks Facebook!

Two years ago today I was in Cabo with Sean on a sponsored trip w/ Sunwing. It was an ok trip. We had a pretty strict itinerary and were at a remote resort but the sun was beautiful and we had a great room. When I look at this photo, I think about how I had to post a certain number of things each day and it was kinda stressful. This was one of the photos I posted to IG during the trip to document stand paddle boarding. The other thing I see when I look at this photo is the size of my boobs. Six months after this trip I had a breast reduction. For years I would hide them, they never fit properly in a bathing suit, or a bra, especially a sports bra. I hated them and was at the point where I was willing to pay for the surgery myself when the phone call came in. I am so glad I went through that process and have smaller boobs now. The biggest change, aside from working out in 1 bra only is the effect it had on my mental health. I’m happier. I’m more confident. I was always a happy person with confidence but the change for me is in how I feel on the inside. I don’t stress about shirt buttons popping open anymore, I can just throw on something and get dressed really fast, I wear tighter stuff without feeling likes someone might say “whoa Tits McGee!”. That happened a few times before lol. I can laugh about it now, but having huge boobs was something that I really stressed about. I had a DD and was 100Lbs when I started high school, it wasn’t fun. For the last few years before the surgery, I never wore v-neck, low cut,…

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Let’s Talk

Three events today. Ignore…. 33 Facebook notifications. Too many unread emails. Twitter notifications. Instagram notifications. Unread messages. It’s overwhelming. Then add on [that you’ve been keeping a public diary about your life for a decade and] all kinds of people who don’t really know you who think they ‘like totally’ know you because they’ve known you for 5+ years. They know about the cottage and people, places, things, thoughts. Boyfriends, birthdays, best friends. They’ve had babies and you’d recognize their kids now, but you don’t really know them. They know you, part of you, the sunshiney part where you’re always smiling and wearing bright colours, or going somewhere great looking good. They don’t see behind the screen, in the pile of clothes or messy closet. The days when you just can’t even, when you think about leaving the house. Or going to that event. When all you want to really do is stay home and cook in your kitchen or go to yoga because it makes you feel better. I feel like I need a break and maybe it’s the winter blues talking post vacation SAD*.  Maybe it’s because I’m on the waitlist for yoga at noon. Maybe it’s Time’s Up or Me Too. I don’t know. It’s freezing outside and blowing snow gives limited visibility. It’s also Bell Let’s Talk and Spring is just a few weeks away. It’s ok not to be ok. I’m not always ok. The last few weeks have been really hard. The trip to New Zealand was super fucking hard. My nana died and one of my uncles was being super controlling from the day I arrived to the point where I blocked him on Facebook. Travelling with your mum is not easy. I cried a lot for the first week of the trip. I cried…

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New Year New You!? Same Me!

I mean new me kinda because you’re like,  you’re always changing. Right? Maybe you’re looking to make some changes in your life this year and there is no time like RIGHT NOW. Tomorrow you’ll wish you started today. I really want to get fit this year. I’ve been home a couple days and made yoga + hit the gym. I feel good. I’m not sure when or IF jet lag is going to kick in but I’m ready for it. Update: I feel it today. I don’t have heaps planned this week in an effort to maintain self-care and get a fresh start on 2018. When I go to the gym I don’t stay for a super long time but I’m proud of myself every single time I go. I’ve had gym anxiety my whole life, until now. I hated going up until I had my breast reduction last summer. It took a while to be emotionally ready to workout, but last summer I signed up for my first every gym membership. YAY ME. Before the operation, I hardly ever worked out and when I did never wore anything with cleavage to avoid getting unwanted attention. I used to wear 3 sports bras to keep those bad boys still if I wanted to run. I was always fully covered in t-shirts for yoga and tank tops were out of the question. For years, I had a hard time getting dressed in the morning or for events. It gave me anxiety. Sean used to be like ‘are you ready yet?‘ and there were so many times I was upstairs in tears or not wanting to go anywhere. I would try on a million things and nothing would fit those big boobies and don’t even get me started on working out. This year I’m excited to…

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DO IT FOR YOURSELF. #JOMO

I read a great article on self-care yesterday about how it’s not all chocolate and bubble baths. Self-care is doing stuff for yourself like not going out, eating well, making time to exercise, and fighting through the hard crap like cleaning your room and doing your taxes. I finally did mine this year after more years than I care to admit.  This Is What ‘Self-Care’ REALLY Means, Because It’s Not All Salt Baths And Chocolate Cake In January I set out to take better care of myself and started regular yoga and since I’ve become stronger physically and mentally. I’ve carved out time in my life to do things FOR MYSELF and not be pressured to do things or go to things if I really don’t feel like it. Sure, I have missed out on fancy parties, previews but do I really care? No. I’ve gone to more parties and events in the last 10 years than some people will ever go to. I never feel FOMO when I scroll past familiar faces smiling or posting the perfect cheers in a Boomerang. I am all about the JOMO – THE JOY OF MISSING OUT. I love skipping things to go to yoga or leave early because I have something important t0 get to (aka yoga). Last winter I invested in creating a beautiful workspace for myself at home filled with smart lights, an air purifying fan, all the plants, and photos I’d been meaning to frame for years. I love staying home and there is nothing wrong with that. This is a reminder to you and myself to not feel bad for putting yourself first. If you don’t, who will? By taking care of myself, I free up room to do more and take care of others without feeling drained or worrying about things I need…

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