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I’m Internet,¬†but I’m Human Too

I’m Internet,¬†but I’m Human Too

Do you ever just feel like you need a break? To run away. Get on a plane. Be alone. Put away your phone. Take flight and be free. I don’t know exactly why but today I feel frustrated.

casie stewart, iphonex, telus, sunshine

There are lots of things to feel great about but with a few roadblocks, no amount of meditation, water or walking is going to save me right now. I want to curl up with my computer on a patio of a villa somewhere far away, alone. I’ve got things I want to write and I feel like I need a secluded place away from everyone and everything. Life is full of distractions and no¬†matter where I go, they’re all around. Maybe I should turn off wifi.

I’m doing a wellness retreat this afternoon and in the middle of planning a trip with Aeroplan. Maybe I have travel jitters and I just want to leave now?

Please remember that no matter how many smiling selfies, cute couple photos, designer dresses, great skin, and clean houses, nothing is that perfect in real life. We all have our¬†struggles, battles, and have no idea what we are doing. But we’re doing it. I had no idea what I was doing when I started my blog and stuck at it. I was addicted to documenting, I love writing, smiling photos. Most of my blog posts aren’t even about anything¬†other than how I’m feeling or where¬†I’m going, but we all feel things and go places. Writing it down helps me deal with everything, it’s¬†great therapy.

I’m gonna go for that walk now. I¬†think it might¬†actually help.¬†

casie stewart, toronto, blogger, speaker, influencer, "this is my life"

P.S. When I opened up Twitter before leaving my computer for the aforementioned walk, this Tweet was waiting for me. Good read. I relate to this ‘smiling depression’ quite a bit.

 

My dad had depression when I was growing up. My bf says sometimes I share all my sunshine with the world and have nothing left when I come home.

Last year I made it a priority to give more time to myself, to keep my energy vessel full as much as I can instead of emptying it to the world. I work at it every damn day. I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs over the last¬†10+ years of having this blog, I’ve shared a lot of them. Trust me that there are a lot more behind the scenes I don’t share. I’m Internet,¬†but I’m human too.


Hang in there my friends!
We need each other and we can do this. I am here for you.
Wow this PS is almost longer than the blog post. 

Let’s Talk

Let’s Talk

Three events today. Ignore…. 33 Facebook notifications. Too many unread emails. Twitter notifications. Instagram notifications. Unread messages. It’s overwhelming. Then add on [that you’ve been keeping a public diary about your life for a decade and] all kinds of people who don’t really know you who think they ‘like totally’ know you because they’ve known¬†you for 5+ years.

They know about the cottage and people, places, things, thoughts. Boyfriends, birthdays, best friends. They’ve had babies and you’d recognize their kids now, but you don’t really know them.

They know you, part of you, the sunshiney part where you’re always smiling and wearing bright colours, or going somewhere great looking good.

They don’t see behind the screen, in the pile of clothes or messy closet. The days when you just can’t even, when you think about leaving the house. Or going to that event. When all you want to really do is stay home and cook in your kitchen or go to yoga because it makes you feel better.


I feel like I need a break and maybe it’s the winter blues talking post vacation SAD*.¬† Maybe it’s because I’m on the waitlist for yoga at noon. Maybe it’s Time’s Up or Me Too. I don’t know. It’s freezing outside and blowing snow gives limited visibility. It’s also Bell Let’s Talk and Spring is just a few weeks away.

It’s ok not to be ok. I’m not always ok. The last few weeks have been really hard. The trip to New Zealand was super fucking hard. My nana¬†died and one of my uncles was being super controlling from the day I arrived to the point where I blocked him on Facebook. Travelling with your mum is not easy. I cried a lot for the first week of the trip. I cried while driving with my mum in the car yelling at each other. I pulled over to cry while mum walked off. I fucked up the car by putting diesel in the gas tank after having a big cry with my BF. I fucked up a tire by driving over a storm grate to take a picture of a sign that said ‘Beaconsfield’ like the old Queen West Bar. I drove alone on really insane roads where death was less than a metre away. But I did it. I did it all and I made it home safe. I was worried at times I wouldn’t make it and other times I wanted to drive mum and I off the damn ledge because I was so annoyed. But I didn’t do that either.

Over the¬†course of the¬†NZ trip, I learned a lot about myself and had a lot of time to think about what I want to do with my life. What’s next? I kept a diary of the trip with mum. I haven’t posted as¬†much for the last 2 weeks since I’ve been back but I’ve still been writing.¬†I’ve been working on more projects w/ 1188 and Occupied VR. I’ve been eating well, going to the gym, and doing yoga. Today I baked a lasagna from scratch.

I’m continuing my 2017 mantra of doing what makes me happy and making my time a priority. I guess you could say I’m reclaiming my time.¬†¬†Last year after my LA trip, I shifted the way I think about things and it has made all the difference. I am more considerate and calm, and I try to listen more and talk less.

Being a positive person is something you have to want to do and decision I try to make every day. Post NZ I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do next and I feel like the winter is a perfect time to hibernate and do just that. I always feel better when I write it down. Having a diary really helps me through those days when I don’t want to get out of bed.

If you’re having a hard day, hang in there. You are the director of your movie and you decide how the story goes and who plays a starring role.

You can also reach out to me anytime, I think you probably know me better than I realize. I’m always here.¬†

FYI in case you aren't from Canada and don't have the long cold winter!
Seasonal affective disorder¬†(SAD) is a type of¬†depression¬†that's related to changes in seasons ‚ÄĒSAD¬†begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you're like most people with¬†SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.

Thanks Converse.ca ūüėé‚úĆūüŹľ New Shoes for Me! New Shoes for You!

Thanks Converse.ca ūüėé‚úĆūüŹľ New Shoes for Me! New Shoes for You!

In celebration of converse.ca (Welcome to ūüá®ūüᶬ†!) they sent an awesome package. The box is an old computer with a lenticular screen, and it’s full of disks. A couple disks have codes for FREE SHOES and I’m sharing then w you. YAY! I gave a pair to Matt @ 1188 to test shipping. Ordered Friday shipped Monday,¬†on his feet Tuesday in TO from Montreal.


Every summer I get a new pair of white Converse because after wearing them all summer with no socks,¬†trust me, they’re worn out done. ¬†I’d like a pair of white leather hightops but I also love the little white Dainty. Really feeling the Nike X Flyknit but they only come in mens¬†sizes and my feet are too small. ūüė©

The new Converse II ¬†soles are more comfortable. They’re a great summer staple, love them with dresses or jeans, shorts, and rompers. They’re my fav. I have a framed photo of my Andy¬†Warhol converse in my room and another couple pairs tucked away in under bed storage for safe keeping; an Andy¬†Warhol pair and classic Chuck Taylor high tops with my signature on the tongue.¬†


HOW TO WIN? LEAVE A COMMENT! ūüĎáūüŹĹ

Scroll over to converse.ca, find your fav shoes, and say hi in the comments w/ a link to your fav pair.
I’ll pick two people and shoes will be delivered to you anywhere in Canada.
Extra points for good manners, jokes, or kind words. GOOD LUCK!¬†ūüėä

 

ūüí°It's kind of fun writing little disclaimers at the bottom of posts. Have you noticed?¬†As I said, Converse sent me a cool present and I decided to share with you¬†on my blog like I have done since 2009. This is what I love about blogging telling a story about something I love and my little ol' life and sharing with you. Thank you Micki and Converse team, also again this package is awesome.  
  • oh ya FYI, sorry USA Canada only!¬†

You Can Achieve Anything You Want If You Work At It

You Can Achieve Anything You Want If You Work At It

I found this photo in a¬†box of tax receipts and it gave me such a warm feeling. I’m pretty sure mum has this costume still hanging up in a closet at home. When I was about 9 my jazz class did a competition number to the Inspector Gadget song and to this day I still remember some of it.

I spent heaps of time at the dance studio as a kid. I started ballet around 3 and a half, had my first recital at 5, and spent a few years competing. I went all over Ontario, NY, and the National American Dance Championships in South Carolina a couple times.

First ballet Recital, 5 years Old, Fluffy Cloud


I distinctly remember times ballet was hard. Sometimes I hated it. I’d be crying after class,¬†begging mum to let me quit. But she never did. And thank god for that.

Although it was tough, dance taught me so much.

It taught me hold my head high when I walk, how to enter a room, how to be on stage. I learned to not give up.

I’m so thankful for the decade I spent dancing as kid. For my teacher Miss Lisa at Meyerhofer¬†Academy in Cambridge. I’m grateful for¬†mum who taught me to persevere¬†through all the tough times. Also thankful for all the¬†late nights, mum¬†sat at the kitchen table making ballet skirts for the studio to pay for it.

As I get older ,I appreciate more and more the hard work I put in when I was younger. This week Emily and I signed up for Tae Kwon Do. It’s her first go and my first time back in 20 years. [Side note: WHERE DID THE TIME GO, HOW AM I THAT OLD?]¬†


TDK is another thing I spent a few years doing that taught me so much.  I have my green belt, won an Ontario trophy for 3rd in sparring, and once broke a guys jaw with a roundhouse kick.

Before signing up this week I inquired¬†about it twice over the last year and I’m glad I finally did it. Even after all these years, the five tenants of Tae Kwon Do have never left my memory.

Explanation of Tenets

1. Courtesy (Ye Ui)

2. Integrity (Yom Chi)

3. Perseverance (In Nae)

4. Self-Control (Guk Gi)

5. Indomitable Spirit (Baekjul Boolgool)


I’ve been working hard at yoga the last couple months and I feel so much stronger in ¬†my muscles and my mind. I’m not sure if I’ve lost many lbs but I’ve for sure made some muscle and lost some of that muffin ’round the middle.

This post is a reminder: Don’t give up. When something is hard you have to push through to¬†get to the next level. It’s like playing a really hard video game, and working hard to beat The Boss, and make it to the next level.

When you get there, it’s always worth it. And you can do it again.


Have a great weekend, 

Hi Mum, I just called to say thanks.

Today I rung mum at work and I think she must have been busy because she seemed a little surprised when I said ‘hi mum’. I told her I was calling to say thank you for having me and being so supportive. She didn’t have a lot of time to talk but I wanted to thank her for everything.

To tell her I love calling her all the time when something exciting happens and I can’t tell anyone else or they just wouldn’t feel as excited as her. For all the times she stayed up late sewing ballet skirts to sell at the studio so she could afford our dance classes. For driving to all those dance competitions, skiing, skating, birthday parties, recitals, modelling, tae kwon do, and to all my friends houses for sleepovers. For showing me how to bake and encouraging me to make things in the kitchen, thank you.

For embracing my weirdness and letting me wear what I want as a child no matter how bizarre the neighbours thought she was for doing to it.

For putting us in summer reading club at the library. For all the work that went in to creating JEANS Publishing company and helping me write that book as a young teenager because I know it was shit ton of work and late nights (for her). For teaching me to work hard and not listen to anyone who says ‘you can’t do that’.

Your strong attitude is with me everyday and I carry it close to my heart and I hear your voice in my head.

For teaching me to be tough and know how to throw a damn good punch (whoops!) and studying Tae Kwon Do together.

For getting me braces because you knew that my smile would bring joy to other people and I really love flashing it around.

For teaching me to sew even though I don’t do it much, I still know how. Thank you for making me comfort food and allowing me to take naps in my old room when I’m run down and need a break from my life.

I know how to make a perfect pavlova because of you.

For inspiring me to be a leader. For being honest with me and calling me on my shit, cause lord knows I need it sometimes.

For giving me a sister, and three awesome step-sisters! For being good friends with dad. For giving me nana’s number in New Zealand, she was definitely surprised!

For flowers from your garden and telling me when Winners clearance is on.

For learning how to text and send photos because I love messages from you. For reading ‘bloggy’ when you got to work just to check in on me. For checking my Twitter if you haven’t heard from me in a couple days just to make sure I’m ok.

Thank you mum, for being a strong woman, a great leader, and best support my entire life.

I’m so proud to be your daughter and I love you the most.

Mum + Me


Today I messaged a bunch of women in my life who I love, respect, and miss. I made plans to see them. I had my BFF stay over last night. I have a different BFF date tomorrow. I’ve been really trying to make time for friends and not be ‘too busy’ to see them. Even if it’s a coffee and walk, breakfast, lunch, snack, maybe it’s picking up the ol’ telephone. Make time for the people you love, the women in your life.

AND one more thing, don’t ever forget that you can achieve ANYTHING you put your mind to. Be clear about your thoughts when you put them into the universe. Don’t confuse the universe with self-doubt, be clear about your intentions.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. 

YOU CAN DO IT!

UPDATE: ūüí¨ My favourite thing about today was talking to SO MANY people. Messages, making plans, reaching out. People celebrating themselves and each other. I feel like I really celebrated. Not with partying but with talking, making action. Had super early yoga w/ Keri and did a lot of other things today, I can’t even remember. Just got home from speaking at an event and I feel so genuinely thankful for friends. Sometimes I think I don’t like social media and it gives me anxiety but today it brought me closer to so many people IRL and in messages, in comments, in posts on every platform, all day. I like you. Thank you for being a friend! ‚̧ԳŹūüí™ūüŹľ

SCROLL – 5 Good Things for Monday, March 6, 2017

SCROLL – 5 Good Things for Monday, March 6, 2017

Hello & happy Monday, here are a few good things to start your day. ‚ėÄÔłŹ

On Sunday I went to detox yoga at noon and it was a really good class. Sean picked me up after and we got groceries and other stuff. Lately I’ve been more conscious of things I’m doing and why. I think it goes back to¬†that sound bath I went to in LA. I swear something happened that day.¬†So, instead of laying the couch and scrolling I’m sitting on the bed writing. I promised to write more.

Although, one of my favourite things¬†is sitting and scrolling.¬†I love reading Steph’s The Catch Up or Weekly Enabler Posts on her blog LEOPARD¬†is a NEUTRAL. I also love Gracie’s recipes, yesterday I tried to make cauliflower rice but it ended up being mash. Which was still good.

I tried to do a newsletter but I failed miserably, despite ‘wanting‘ to do it I only sent¬†it once. Sorry subscribers.¬†ūüôą Maybe one day I will get there but baby¬†steps are ok.

Here are five things I think you might like too.


ONE: TRAVEL & LIFE TIPS FROM ONE OF MY FAV BLOGGER/YOUTUBERS

Kristen Sarah created¬†Hopscotch The Globe¬†and has¬†been travelling¬†for 13 years with her¬†husband. They’re also moving into an AIRSTREAM. If¬†you haven’t read noticed, is one of my travel goals.


TWO: VICE + OCCUPIED VR + CREATORS PROJECT

OCCUPIED VR (Sean, my bf’s company) is featured on the VICE Creators Project right now. Watch it here or check out my behind the scenes experience at the shoot in yesterday’s blog post.


THREE РTHE BANKSY HOTEL 

This place is all over headlines with it’s¬†“worst view in the world”. The ‘Walled Off Hotel’ (a play on Waldorf?) is in¬†Bethlehem and¬†looks right out to¬†the concrete wall¬†around the West Bank.The decor inside is crazy/awesome, every room is decorated ¬†by Banksy. It’s about ¬£30 a night and reservations open March 11th March. ¬†BBC has a set of photos but¬†the website is better.

“Walls are hot right now,” the press statement quoted Banksy saying, “but I was into them long before Trump made it cool.”

Exit through the gift shop…this is his store ūüĎáūüŹľūüĎáūüŹľūüĎáūüŹľ


FOUR – FOUND SOME STYLE INSPIRATION, GONNA TRY IT OUT

Hawley from¬†Sidewalk Hustle¬†posted a TON of street style from Paris Fashion Week and this¬†is my style inspiration for the¬†week. I will try to not wear all black (and leggings) to at least one thing over the next 7 days. Honestly, that’s like all I’ve been wearing. When is spring?

45 STREET STYLE PHOTOS FROM PARIS FASHION WEEK, sidewalk hustle


FIVE – LET’S CELEBRATE INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY TOGETHER

Wednesday is International Women’s Day and I would like to invite you to come to an event called SHE WENT FOR IT hosted by DITTO. It’s at King & Spadina (Rangle.io), tickets are $5. Last year for IWD I spoke for¬†the United¬†Nations Association of Canada. It was pretty cool. This year’s event has food and drinks, we can totally hang out and celebrate each other.

I would be happy to buy a couple tickets for some of you. If you leave¬†a comment with your thoughts on this post, I’ll pick a few people!


Thank you for reading. You have the opportunity to make today great, DO IT! 

casie stewart, autograph, famous, blogger, canada, toronto

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. Here are two more things I couldn’t resist adding!¬†

ON BLOGGING:

My fav UK blogger РBANGSР is feeling the same vibes about blogging that I have been feeling. GOOD READ. I love her writing. [read more]

ALL THE PLANTS:

This co-working place is FULL of plants, talk about office goals. I love it. The air in there must be so great. [Fast Company]

The Secret to Getting Ahead is Getting Started

The Secret to Getting Ahead is Getting Started

I’m not sure if I did something or what but my lower back is so sore today. I can do a forward bend but if I only go¬†15-45 degrees, it hurts. I’ve got a heating pack on now and I’m watching Dragon’s Den/not moving till tomorrow. ¬†I did however, still go to yoga today.¬†

Six weeks ago I would have probably cancelled anything that made me leave the house with this pain but since I’ve been working out I feel stronger. A couple days ago I told my yoga teacher (Sandy) how I came to class even though I was feeling blerghhh and tired and she said

“Nobody ever regrets going to yoga”

She was so right. Today I initially cancelled going to the nooner (via the app) but when I was home from work at at 11:45 I decided to just GO FOR IT. Jumped into my gear, ran out the door, and was there 2min early for the 12:15! IT FELT SO GOOD. 

There was only other person in the class with me so it ended up being semi-private.¬†I feel like it was a stroke of luck after hustling to get there! ¬†I’ve been going to class at least 3 times a week for just over a month and I’m so happy for finally dedicating time to myself for myself. And screen free!¬†

Last year I wrote about JOMO, The Joy of Missing Out and I’m still on that vibe. I’ve spent the last 5-7 years doing so many things every weeknight and lately, making time for yoga has been a really great change. I’m more mindful of the events I do go to, and I make the most of my time when I’m there. It’s like the secret to getting ahead is just getting started.¬†


Don’t ever feel bad taking time for yourself. Remember you can hit a reset button on healthy eating or positive habits any single day of the week. Tomorrow you’ll wish you started today. ūüėä

P.S. If you’re near Lower Junction and wanna join me for a class check out Yoga Yoga¬†Studio!

About Casie Stewart

Casie Stewart is a Canadian writer, director, and entrepreneur. She’s an award-winning content creator and expert in digital. During her decade-long career in media, she’s been named Canadian Screen Award Winner (Voice Pioneer), Best Travel Blog, and Top 30 Lifestyle Blogs in Canada. Casie¬†has been a keynote speaker at SXSW, NXNE, TEDx, and spoken at YouTube Canada and the United Nations of Canada. She lives in Toronto with her boyfriend and loves summer weekends at the cottage when she’s not travelling around the world.

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