Today was a really busy business day and all I feel like doing is getting a huge slice of chocolate cake and sitting on the couch. It’s my fav night for TV, Criminal Minds & Modern Family. I want to shut my brain off but there is no brain off button. I didn’t blog today until now which usually gives me anxiety but to I just didn’t really feel like today. I tweeted, had my hair done and went to a PR event. I made a couple drafts but nothing made it to publish. I’ve been reading poetry while I watch TV that I wrote years ago. I used to write all the time. Did you know I was a published author in 1996? I co-wrote an anthology of poetry and prose. Lots of work from 2003-2008 lives on MySpace in a far away blog from many moons ago. I’ve been thinking about sharing it here, I just might 😉 Updated the old drawing blog Borderline Artistic too. It’s gettin’ artsy around here ladies & gentlemen.
Rogers included part of this old video on my episode last night, which was amazing by the way. Super humbled by the whole thing. I can’t wait to show you.
The wind lifts a tissue,
Roughly tosses it up and around
Sharply throwing it to the ground.
It races thought people on the street
Catching on things as it passes
And things it meets.
Tried marble nails last night. Need practice.
Didn’t blog yesterday. First day off in ages.
Made cabbage soup. Hope to drop a few LBs.
Slept funny on shoulder. It’s hurting now.
Have lots of meetings this week. Work is good.
Looks relatively warm outside. Sun is shining.
Might clean my room today. Probably not likely.
Feeling rather artistic. Breakfast with my sketchbook.
Heart’s a little empty. Missing you a bit.
Time to make coffee. Have a wonderful day.
Blogging is a weird and wonderful thing. I love it but just like everyone else, sometimes I don’t feel like going to work. I’ve been sitting in front of my computer, watching a movie, editing photos iPhone for upcoming posts. I made jello earlier. I have lots of things I want to write about but, sometimes I don’t feel like it. Sometimes my mind is distracted and floats into an ocean of ideas, it takes a vacation. I keep gazing out the window and watching the lake.
It’s very peaceful out there today.
I need to catch up on sleep this weekend. I’ve been going non-stop for days, months and it’s only beginning to sink in that SXSW is next week, then Fashion Week, then Canadian Club secret adventure, Canadian Music Week, and then, and then, and then. NO MORE AND THEN. I get anxiety thinking about all the people, events, travel, everything. Had some of the jello, it’s strawberry & delicious. This is a good song.
This weekend is break time. I need to tidy up and pack for our drive across America. I’m watching this movie called ‘Cyber Bully’ and it makes me sick/sad hearing this girls story. I can only imagine what it’s like for kids in school these days. (Am I old now for saying that?) I had a hard enough time in high school and there wasn’t Facebook, Twitter or blogs. Her ‘friend’ created a profile of a cute boy who made friends with her and then spread rumors and basically ruined her reputation which leads the girl to attempt suicide. Having a jealous friend is the worst, worst, worst. If you have one, beware. They’re toxic to keep around, better to ditch ’em. I learned that lesson the hard way.
I think it’s time for a nap. Upcoming posts & photos from Converse SS12 preview and Vice PROJECT X from last night.
When I was in primary school this boy Adam really liked me. I was in grade 5, Mrs. Rolt’s class and he was in grade 4. I did not like Adam. I wasn’t a romantic then like I am now. (Mum is going to have a giggle when she reads this.) I made a bunch of valentines on our old computer to give to friends in my class and around school. They were quite lovely, beautiful actually, I hand coloured the hearts by hand with pencil crayon. (This was back when printer’s were black & white and the paper had holes on the sides.)
I wrote recipients name & class number on valentines and cupid would deliver them by end of day. Well, my valentine for Adam was REALLY special. I coloured his in with special care and signed my name.
Before sending I wrote “I HATE YOU” in bold pencil.
I hated him. He was really mean to me all the time and I was really upset. It’s not nice to be picked on. As a creative person & writer this is how I dealt with the bully. It was not really the right way to deal, but, hey, I was in grade five and I didn’t know any better.
The valentine did NOT go over well. I had a pending application to the leadership council and my Mum got a ring form the school and was told how “that type of behaviour would not be tolerated” and I should not be a leader on the council. Mum explained how he had been bullying me and I was upset and I was just a kid and I was a creative person and I had hurt feelings. I got let off the hook and joined the leadership council the following year.
Adam was so sad at the time. In retrospect, I really should have not signed my name. I’ve never sent another mean valentine. Sorry Adam! Please accept my apology twenty years later. By chance do you still have that card?
These flowers just arrived from a dear friend in the U.K. Thank you lovely.
One of the things that gives me the most anxiety and possibly you too, is not having money. I’ve gone through lots of ups & downs in my life and I don’t come from money so all I have, is all I’ve earned. When I returned from Australia I was so skinny from living on next to nothing I looked like Nicole in her anorexic days, not by choice.
It’s hard to carve out a way to get paid for what you love doing. Especially as a creative person. Last summer I wrote a post about how you can’t pay me in chips or chocolate bars. I got sick and tired of people asking me to do work for them in return for things I don’t need. What would I do with a bunch of chips & chocolate? I go to the gym for a reason! Helloooooo. If they (whoever is asking) are getting a paycheque and are asking me to do work, I should get paid too. You wouldn’t believe some of the extreme things I get asked to to in return for ‘publicity’. I turn down way more than I accept. (That’s not to say I don’t love getting a few freebie’s along the way!)
Lauren posted this video that’s an excerpt from an upcoming documentary on Harlan Ellison, “DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH“. He’s an excellent writer and inspiring man. I’m sure you will enjoy it.
My startup disk is full so I’ll be spending the afternoon moving TO THE CLOUD. Have a spectacular day. It’s lovely & sunny in Toronto 🙂
Watched this talk last night by Mike Monteiro about being a person who works in the business of being creative. He talks about relationship building and uses good language. The start is amusing and I learned a few things. I drew on iPad while he was talking.
He brings in his lawyer, who is quite insightful. Especially when it comes to how to take care of client service contracts as a small business. Sounds boring but it’s not. I watched the whole thing.
If the person you are working with has their lawyer on the call, you should have yours.
I like when he says ” I would like designers to stop being bottoms, realize the power you have in the relationship”. (You’ll enjoy that part I’m sure.) I love listening to entrepreneurs talk. It’s like candy for your brain. At the end he says something that I say to you and myself like, errrrrrrry day.
The Balloon Tree by Phoebie Gilman was one of my favourite books as a child. We used to read heaps of books. Each summer Jenie and I would join the Summer Reading Club at the Preston library. I spent so much of my childhood at that place. I was either there, the dance studio, or gymnastics. I’m pretty sure I had my first reading by Robert Munsch at the Preston library. I remember meeting Phoebie Gilman and having my photo taken with her. Authors were my celebrities back then. When I wrote ‘Jeans: an anthology of poetry & prose‘ in 1996 we had our book launch there. We sold over 80 books that night and one dollar from the sale of each went to the Women’s Crisis Shelter. It was a magical night. I’l never forget how good it feels sitting there signing your own book for a lineup of people. I’ve been (slowly) working on another book. Write more, read more, that’s what I keep telling myself.
I’m a big believer in the power of positive thought and a few things I’ve been thinking about lately are libraries and speaking. Not necessarily together but in general. The crazy thing is, I got an email from Marketing Magazine asking me to speak at an event next month and guess where it is? A LIBRARY. My favourite library in the city, Toronto Reference. We’re talking youth culture and the founder of VICE Magazine will also be there talking about The Creators Project between Vice & Intel. I’ve been a Vice fan for about ten years and have a diploma in marketing so this is all quite exciting. THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN’T DO.
The Creators Project is really cool and well, CREATIVE.
“I have always imagined that Paradise
will be a kind of library.”
Jorge Luis Borges quotes (Argentinian Poet and Essayist, 1899-1986).
Time to get up. Time to get off the couch. Time to pick up the phone and make that call. Time to start living. Time to start loving. Time to make that list of things you want to accomplish and not let anything get in the way. Time to let go. Time to take abreak. Time to make a move. Time to sit back and relax. Time to do something. Time to break free.
I’m sitting in the Boston Logan Airport lounge listening to music and soaking up as much free wifi as a girl can. I got to thinking about life and goals and what I dreamed of doing and where I’m going. Not like, back to Toronto but where am I really going? I think January is a time everyone does that introspective look into their life and wonders, what am I doing? It’s probably also why people get sad and maybe have breakdowns! Last year in January I considered giving up blogging and getting a 9-5 job. I’m really glad I didn’t.
The last two years have been filled with all kinds of things I only ever dreamed would happen. How did I get to do them? How did I make them a reality? I feel inspired to tell you today.
When I was in Australia at Uni (2004 & pre-blog) I often felt homesick. I missed my sister terribly and everyone from home seemed light years away. One fine day I went to a bookstore in search of ‘something’ that would give me guidance or direction or make me feel better. I picked up The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg, a book that claimed to be ‘technology for the soul’. I went home and read it cover to cover in one sitting, staying up all night, moving from couch to bed to floor until it was finished. I was not raised religious and this book wasn’t about that at all. It was about the power of the universe and creating the life you wanted. It was spiritual wisdom. It helped me realize that I could have everything I ever wanted. It helped me understand that I already did.
As I embarked on this journey of self-discovery (I know how gay that sounds but it is true) I started to change how I thought about things. I’ve always been fairly positive but I really shifted my consciousness to see the light in every situation. By making this change I opened up a whole new realm of my life to accept positivity and my life began to change, for the better. I started writing things down, setting clear goals and striving to surround myself with inspiring people.
I learned something during that time that has stuck with me much longer than the red Kabbalah string on my wrist. It’s a quote by Hillel the Elder and it really inspired me. It’s been adopted by lots of people & things over history including the song “If not now, when?” by Incubus. I ask myself this every single day…
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If I am not for others, what am I?
And if not now, when?
Paint a positive picture of your future and go for it. There is nothing holding you back or standing in your way. Your life is your movie and you are the director. Go out there and GET IT. It’s TIME.
I used to write all the time and this year I’m going to write more. Next up on the blog is goal setting and people who positively influence me. I meant to write ‘block’ in that sentence but typed blog instinctively. The blog becomes you, I swear! Time to catch up on my Young & the Restless and fly home.