I wasn’t feeling great today. Kept waking up in the night thinking someone was walking through the cottage. Woke up with serious anxiety, went for a run, did a meditation, took a nap. Called mum when after my rest and talked it out. Had a cry, felt a bit better. Mum has a magical way of calming me down, looking at things rationally, and helping me see clearly. A nap always helps too, everything seems more intense when you’re tired. Today, Toronto announced new ‘red zone’ restrictions as cases keep rising in the GTA. Ontario is now seeing over 1,000 cases/day which is kinda scary. As of Saturday, restaurants can no longer have indoor dining, gyms can’t hold fitness classes, no indoor meeting spaces, and bars have 9pm last call. They’re also encouraged people not to hang out with anyone who doesn’t live in their household. It’s crazy we are living through this right now. Being at the cottage feels like we’re escaping and sometimes I start doing something where I forget what’s going on, then I remember. It’s normal to have anxiety, especially now, I’ve found that exercise and meditation have been really helpful. A couple of years ago I was gifted a membership to the Calm app and really got into guided meditation. I found that I really missed using the app and purchased a new membership in the summer. I love the sleep stories by Matthew McConaughey or Harry Stiles. I swear I’ve never heard the end of the story, I always fall asleep! Their website is offering a free week if you’d like to give it a try. If you’re feeling pandemic anxiety, it’s normal, take some deep breaths, go outside for as walk, call a friend, or do something that makes you feel happy. We’ll…

How many times have you been in a situation, or given an opportunity but worried the outcome might be bad? Never? Well, that must be nice! LOL. I’ve found that through the pandemic my anxiety has gotten worse and it’s not that I think things will go bad, it’s just that I feel anxious something might go wrong. The thing is, what if it turns out better than you expected? Better than you could have ever imagined? What if all your hard work, late nights, long days, sweat, tears, finally pay off like you always dreamed? It’s possible. One of my fav books from when I was little is from the ValueTales series, “The Value of Believing In Yourself“, the story of Louis Pasteur (published 1977). Pasteur is known for his discoveries of the principles of vaccination, microbial fermentation, and pasteurization. The story is about him finding a cure for rabies because he believed in himself. Funny side note about this book, I got a new copy for Emily when she was a kid and didn’t remember the part of the story where the dog passed away. Sean was like, “um the dog DIES?! What kind of story is this?!” HAHAHAHA. Safe to say, neither of them feels the same passion for the book as me. Whoops! (I’m sure mum will find this hilarious.) Believe in yourself, anything is possible!

Came home to a few packages and I was so excited to open them! I ordered a few new outfits for fall and almost everything fits perfectly. At this point, I am happy to shop online instead of going to a store. I still think about going to the mall a few weeks back and I don’t want to go back. Pandemic anxiety is real! I haven’t been shopping much but it’s amazing how great it feels to put on a new outfit! You are looking at the face of a woman who is refreshed and ready to take on the week. Here’s to making it a good one!

Really enjoyed the Daily Calm meditation the Calm app today. I haven’t mentioned it recently but I absolutely love this app. I bought the paid version last summer and have been using it nearly every day. I find it helps w/ sleep, focus, and anxiety. My fav part from today was something like, “You have no power over how the universe may respond to your actions. … We must realize that control is an illusion, it is only by accepting our lack of control do we find peace.” It was SO hot out today. Biked over to visit Cory Lee after work and went for a swim in her pool. Great to catch up under the sun while cooling down in the water. The title from this post comes from the video I posted on IG, watch it here or click below. I love summer. View this post on Instagram A post shared by CASIE STEWART (@casiestewart)

Tomorrow is my birthday and I usually have a lot of anxiety leading up to it but this year, it was ok. I think it’s due to the fact that we’re used to lockdown, the pressure is off to do anything, and I’m quite happy for a quiet weekend up north. Last days of being 38 & tbh, I’m feeling great. Sending love from the woods, hope you had a good week!

Feel like you need to take a minute? Me too. Inhale, exhale. Look around. Assess the situation. Feel the feelings. Check your surroundings. Take inventory. Reality check. Determine what’s real. Accept how you feel. Set boundaries. Cover your back. Protect your heart. Be kind. Clear your mind. Walk it out. Have a talk. Take a deep breath. Breathe. inhale, hold, exhale, hold How to Do Box Breathing Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose while counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs. Hold your breath inside while counting slowly to four. Try not to clamp your mouth or nose shut. Simply avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds. Begin to slowly exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat steps 1 to 3 at least three times. Ideally, repeat the three steps for 4 minutes, or until calm returns. I didn’t make this up but I use it quite a bit to keep myself calm or relax for sleep. More info on it here or give it a Google to learn how it helps with stress & anxiety. Took a walk in the rain. Had a massage after work. Ordered takeout. Called some friends. Took an edible. Watched The Circle. Melted into the couch. TGIF. ?

Today was a busy day and by the time I finished my last meeting, I was almost ready for a nap. Here’s today’s smoothie bowl, I’m still obsessed. Tonight’s activities include watching Wheel & Jeopardy then getting ready for bed. Ya girl is tired, not sure if it’s the weather or general anxiety about the state of the world. We had out contractor Lindsay over to do some work on the bathroom reno and it’s slowly but surely coming along. We still have a sink & some fixtures in the living room from American Standard ready to be installed. Covid has really put a damper on this whole thing! In other news, a few packages arrived today including two new bathing suits, new boots from L’Intervalle (yes, again!), and this cute sweater from Made For The Lake Co. in Muskoka. On the back it says ‘Smore’s Club’ and it’s from their kid’s section. Will be perfect for summer nights at the cottage. ? Sean is up north this week with Emily for April Break. Today the government announced kids will be doing virtual classes indefinitely until the panini calms down. Ontario is reporting some of the highest numbers since this whole thing started and the different Covid variants are affecting younger people more and more. Watching the news is pretty depressing and there is really no end in sight. I’m trying to stay positive and focus on things that bring me joy but it’s hard sometimes. I really miss seeing my parents and I haven’t seen my sister in weeks. Hang in there my friends, we will get through this. Stay home, wear a mask when you’re out, and make sure to check in on loved ones. ? Sending you sunshine through the internet,

I went for two runs love. I love my morning runs but after work, I was feeling stress and anxiety so I went out again. News is circulating that we’re going back into a stay-at-home order tomorrow. They’ve closed the schools again. Cases are rising. I don’t even know what to say. It’s hard to believe this is really happening. I’m trying to stay focused on the positive and stick o my workouts because it’s the only thing I have going on right now (aside from work). Grateful to have started work at Funday last month because I look forward to the projects on my plate and it gives me something fun to focus on aside from the news. I love this spot on Dundas West at sunset. As I exited the path, I turned to face the sun and it was shining so beautifully. I like to follow the sun when I’m running and soak up as much as I can. That’s all for today. Hang in there, we’ll get through this.

Today was a good day. I feel like I’m learning more about myself at high speed the last 2 weeks, testing my abilities by doing new things. It feels good. I’ve been on a 7-week streak of Peloton workouts and consistently running 2km before I get ready for work in the morning. I find getting outside first thing really sets me up for the day. I have time to get fresh air, exercise, put things in perspective, or burn off some anxiety. I know I said this the other day but I love smoothie bowls, honestly, they’re so beautiful and easy to make. Delicious and extremely good for you. Look at this vision of beauty. I stan. One of the characters in the show I’m watching (The Arrangement) said “If you’re not growing you’re dying” and it really stuck with me. I often used to say, “innovate or die” and I think it’s really important to always be growing.

Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year. I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard. Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Sending love from the woods.

Woke up today and felt tired, could hardly get out of bed. I’ve been going to bed early and trying to get rest, but today was a struggle. My motivation has been LOW since the news on Wednesday last week when the US Capitol was stormed by terrorists. Typing this feels like I’m writing a movie script but it’s real life. Mix that in with rising Covid cases, a lockdown, and general anxiety, it’s hard to focus. I managed to pull myself together, shut out the world for a few hours and zero in on some work before an end of day meeting. I find over the ear noise-canceling headphones really help me focus, even with no music and no outside noise. I think it keeps my thoughts in my head. It is totally acceptable right now if you aren’t functioning at the same productivity levels as pre-pandemic. We’re experiencing collective trauma, living through a deadly global pandemic, a lockdown, homeschooling, and watching what’s happening with the US government. I try to carve out blocks where I put on my headphones, and try to immerse myself in something creative like work or blogging. Going outside for a nice long walk really helps me refocus when I feel anxiety creeping in. It is ok to not be productive right now. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Take care of your health. We WILL get through this.