Day 623: What if it turns out better?

How many times have you been in a situation, or given an opportunity but worried the outcome might be bad? Never? Well, that must be nice! LOL. I’ve found that through the pandemic my anxiety has gotten worse and it’s not that I think things will go bad, it’s just that I feel anxious something might go wrong. The thing is, what if it turns out better than you expected? Better than you could have ever imagined? What if all your hard work, late nights, long days, sweat, tears, finally pay off like you always dreamed? It’s possible. One of my fav books from when I was little is from the ValueTales series, “The Value of Believing In Yourself“, the story of Louis Pasteur (published 1977). Pasteur is known for his discoveries of the principles of vaccination, microbial fermentation, and pasteurization. The story is about him finding a cure for rabies because he believed in himself. Funny side note about this book, I got a new copy for Emily when she was a kid and didn’t remember the part of the story where the dog passed away. Sean was like, “um the dog DIES?! What kind of story is this?!” HAHAHAHA. Safe to say, neither of them feels the same passion for the book as me. Whoops! (I’m sure mum will find this hilarious.) Believe in yourself, anything is possible!

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Day 552: Put on a New Outfit

Came home to a few packages and I was so excited to open them! I ordered a few new outfits for fall and almost everything fits perfectly. At this point, I am happy to shop online instead of going to a store. I still think about going to the mall a few weeks back and I don’t want to go back. Pandemic anxiety is real! I haven’t been shopping much but it’s amazing how great it feels to put on a new outfit! You are looking at the face of a woman who is refreshed and ready to take on the week. Here’s to making it a good one!

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Day 524: If You See Me Happy

Really enjoyed the Daily Calm meditation the Calm app today. I haven’t mentioned it recently but I absolutely love this app. I bought the paid version last summer and have been using it nearly every day. I find it helps w/ sleep, focus, and anxiety. My fav part from today was something like, “You have no power over how the universe may respond to your actions. … We must realize that control is an illusion, it is only by accepting our lack of control do we find peace.” It was SO hot out today. Biked over to visit Cory Lee after work and went for a swim in her pool. Great to catch up under the sun while cooling down in the water. The title from this post comes from the video I posted on IG, watch it here or click below. I love summer. View this post on Instagram A post shared by CASIE STEWART (@casiestewart)

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Day 519: Biddell Fashion Show!

I was in a fashion show! I had such a fun time walking in Evan Biddell’s ‘Playsuit’ show at The Grande Bizarre. Watch his video about the show here! It was so great to sit by the pool and chat with other models before heading into hair & makeup. I absolutely love being on stage and it felt good to be out. I did have some Covid anxiety about all the people but it was still extremely fun. Ann Kaplan, Evan Biddell, Christopher Paunil and Michael Zoffaneri invited guests for a night of fashion and entertainment. We also got a sneak peek at Ann’s new fashion line ANNKM. The Biddell Playsuit is extremely comfortable and stylish. Check out all the different styles in the Biddell Shop. Last year on Day 124 I received my first Playsuit order, a custom butter yellow! Professional non-selfies courtesy of George Pimentel.

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Day 445: Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It #21

It’s been a little while since I updated and to be honest, I just didn’t feel like it. Over the last 20 days, I often opened WordPress to write so many times but ended up saving drafts, only counting the days. The last 2 weeks have been hard, we’re still in lockdown, I haven’t been vaccinated, I miss my parents, going places, doing things. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it, being on the internet, sharing my life. Over the years I’ve written 20 posts with this same title, you can read them here. Work is going good and I’ve finally gotten into the groove of being an employee, it took 8-10 weeks. I hadn’t worked full-time since 2013 so it was quite an adjustment. I really love the work I’m doing and can’t wait to share an exciting project. I’ve been riding my bike a lot lately, and going for walks after work, seeing friends in the park. It’s the only thing keeping me sane! With the pandemic, work, relationships, family, and general anxiety, I haven’t felt like sharing here. I still post something to my IG Stories most days, Instagram, or pop up on Twitter but each time I went to write, I couldn’t do it. I’d been on such a good run with blogging for the past year and was feeling down about not posting. I really enjoy blogging but I feel like this year caught up with over me the last few weeks. I missed a few days, then it felt like a lot to catch up on and before I knew it, it was almost a month. I’m keen to update the last couple of weeks so I have memories to look at. Journaling is such a beautiful thing and once I started writing this,…

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Day 419: Thirty-Eight, Feeling Great

Tomorrow is my birthday and I usually have a lot of anxiety leading up to it but this year, it was ok. I think it’s due to the fact that we’re used to lockdown, the pressure is off to do anything, and I’m quite happy for a quiet weekend up north. Last days of being 38 & tbh, I’m feeling great. Sending love from the woods, hope you had a good week!

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Day 417: Taurus Twins

Saw Michelle for the first time in ages today. We’re born one day apart and usually spend our birthdays together, Taurus Twins. It was nice to sit outside, dance in the sun, and laugh together. Our last hang was back in March 2021 when some patios were open for about five minutes. It’s crazy to think how social life was before the Panini, I was a few events each week, it was normal to see hundreds of people, sometimes thousands. I feel like it will be ages before that happens again and just thinking about it gives me anxiety. It makes me feel nervous/excited about all the people/seeing everyone again. Most people have only seen me though a screen for 400+ days, a lot of people I haven’t seen at all. Feeling grateful for warmer temps and longer days. This week at work has been pretty good but I’m looking forward to the weekend. Sean and I are going up North for my birthday and I can’t wait to get back to the woods.

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Day 398: Take A Minute

Feel like you need to take a minute? Me too. Inhale, exhale. Look around. Assess the situation. Feel the feelings. Check your surroundings. Take inventory. Reality check. Determine what’s real. Accept how you feel. Set boundaries. Cover your back. Protect your heart. Be kind. Clear your mind. Walk it out. Have a talk. Take a deep breath. Breathe. inhale, hold, exhale, hold How to Do Box Breathing Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose while counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs. Hold your breath inside while counting slowly to four. Try not to clamp your mouth or nose shut. Simply avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds. Begin to slowly exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat steps 1 to 3 at least three times. Ideally, repeat the three steps for 4 minutes, or until calm returns. I didn’t make this up but I use it quite a bit to keep myself calm or relax for sleep. More info on it here or give it a Google to learn how it helps with stress & anxiety. Took a walk in the rain. Had a massage after work. Ordered takeout. Called some friends. Took an edible. Watched The Circle. Melted into the couch. TGIF. ?

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Day 394: She’s Ready For A Nap

Today was a busy day and by the time I finished my last meeting, I was almost ready for a nap. Here’s today’s smoothie bowl, I’m still obsessed. Tonight’s activities include watching Wheel & Jeopardy then getting ready for bed. Ya girl is tired, not sure if it’s the weather or general anxiety about the state of the world. We had out contractor Lindsay over to do some work on the bathroom reno and it’s slowly but surely coming along. We still have a sink & some fixtures in the living room from American Standard ready to be installed. Covid has really put a damper on this whole thing! In other news, a few packages arrived today including two new bathing suits, new boots from L’Intervalle (yes, again!), and this cute sweater from Made For The Lake Co. in Muskoka. On the back it says ‘Smore’s Club’ and it’s from their kid’s section. Will be perfect for summer nights at the cottage. ? Sean is up north this week with Emily for April Break. Today the government announced kids will be doing virtual classes indefinitely until the panini calms down. Ontario is reporting some of the highest numbers since this whole thing started and the different Covid variants are affecting younger people more and more. Watching the news is pretty depressing and there is really no end in sight. I’m trying to stay positive and focus on things that bring me joy but it’s hard sometimes. I really miss seeing my parents and I haven’t seen my sister in weeks. Hang in there my friends, we will get through this. Stay home, wear a mask when you’re out, and make sure to check in on loved ones. ? Sending you sunshine through the internet,

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Day 388: Follow The Sun

I went for two runs love. I love my morning runs but after work, I was feeling stress and anxiety so I went out again. News is circulating that we’re going back into a stay-at-home order tomorrow. They’ve closed the schools again. Cases are rising. I don’t even know what to say. It’s hard to believe this is really happening. I’m trying to stay focused on the positive and stick o my workouts because it’s the only thing I have going on right now (aside from work). Grateful to have started work at Funday last month because I look forward to the projects on my plate and it gives me something fun to focus on aside from the news. I love this spot on Dundas West at sunset. As I exited the path, I turned to face the sun and it was shining so beautifully. I like to follow the sun when I’m running and soak up as much as I can. That’s all for today. Hang in there, we’ll get through this.

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