Tomorrow is my birthday and I usually have a lot of anxiety leading up to it but this year, it was ok. I think it’s due to the fact that we’re used to lockdown, the pressure is off to do anything, and I’m quite happy for a quiet weekend up north. Last days of being 38 & tbh, I’m feeling great. Sending love from the woods, hope you had a good week!

Feel like you need to take a minute? Me too. Inhale, exhale. Look around. Assess the situation. Feel the feelings. Check your surroundings. Take inventory. Reality check. Determine what’s real. Accept how you feel. Set boundaries. Cover your back. Protect your heart. Be kind. Clear your mind. Walk it out. Have a talk. Take a deep breath. Breathe. inhale, hold, exhale, hold How to Do Box Breathing Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose while counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs. Hold your breath inside while counting slowly to four. Try not to clamp your mouth or nose shut. Simply avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds. Begin to slowly exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat steps 1 to 3 at least three times. Ideally, repeat the three steps for 4 minutes, or until calm returns. I didn’t make this up but I use it quite a bit to keep myself calm or relax for sleep. More info on it here or give it a Google to learn how it helps with stress & anxiety. Took a walk in the rain. Had a massage after work. Ordered takeout. Called some friends. Took an edible. Watched The Circle. Melted into the couch. TGIF. ?

Today was a busy day and by the time I finished my last meeting, I was almost ready for a nap. Here’s today’s smoothie bowl, I’m still obsessed. Tonight’s activities include watching Wheel & Jeopardy then getting ready for bed. Ya girl is tired, not sure if it’s the weather or general anxiety about the state of the world. We had out contractor Lindsay over to do some work on the bathroom reno and it’s slowly but surely coming along. We still have a sink & some fixtures in the living room from American Standard ready to be installed. Covid has really put a damper on this whole thing! In other news, a few packages arrived today including two new bathing suits, new boots from L’Intervalle (yes, again!), and this cute sweater from Made For The Lake Co. in Muskoka. On the back it says ‘Smore’s Club’ and it’s from their kid’s section. Will be perfect for summer nights at the cottage. ? Sean is up north this week with Emily for April Break. Today the government announced kids will be doing virtual classes indefinitely until the panini calms down. Ontario is reporting some of the highest numbers since this whole thing started and the different Covid variants are affecting younger people more and more. Watching the news is pretty depressing and there is really no end in sight. I’m trying to stay positive and focus on things that bring me joy but it’s hard sometimes. I really miss seeing my parents and I haven’t seen my sister in weeks. Hang in there my friends, we will get through this. Stay home, wear a mask when you’re out, and make sure to check in on loved ones. ? Sending you sunshine through the internet,

I went for two runs love. I love my morning runs but after work, I was feeling stress and anxiety so I went out again. News is circulating that we’re going back into a stay-at-home order tomorrow. They’ve closed the schools again. Cases are rising. I don’t even know what to say. It’s hard to believe this is really happening. I’m trying to stay focused on the positive and stick o my workouts because it’s the only thing I have going on right now (aside from work). Grateful to have started work at Funday last month because I look forward to the projects on my plate and it gives me something fun to focus on aside from the news. I love this spot on Dundas West at sunset. As I exited the path, I turned to face the sun and it was shining so beautifully. I like to follow the sun when I’m running and soak up as much as I can. That’s all for today. Hang in there, we’ll get through this.

Today was a good day. I feel like I’m learning more about myself at high speed the last 2 weeks, testing my abilities by doing new things. It feels good. I’ve been on a 7-week streak of Peloton workouts and consistently running 2km before I get ready for work in the morning. I find getting outside first thing really sets me up for the day. I have time to get fresh air, exercise, put things in perspective, or burn off some anxiety. I know I said this the other day but I love smoothie bowls, honestly, they’re so beautiful and easy to make. Delicious and extremely good for you. Look at this vision of beauty. I stan. One of the characters in the show I’m watching (The Arrangement) said “If you’re not growing you’re dying” and it really stuck with me. I often used to say, “innovate or die” and I think it’s really important to always be growing.

Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year. I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard. Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Sending love from the woods.

Woke up today and felt tired, could hardly get out of bed. I’ve been going to bed early and trying to get rest, but today was a struggle. My motivation has been LOW since the news on Wednesday last week when the US Capitol was stormed by terrorists. Typing this feels like I’m writing a movie script but it’s real life. Mix that in with rising Covid cases, a lockdown, and general anxiety, it’s hard to focus. I managed to pull myself together, shut out the world for a few hours and zero in on some work before an end of day meeting. I find over the ear noise-canceling headphones really help me focus, even with no music and no outside noise. I think it keeps my thoughts in my head. It is totally acceptable right now if you aren’t functioning at the same productivity levels as pre-pandemic. We’re experiencing collective trauma, living through a deadly global pandemic, a lockdown, homeschooling, and watching what’s happening with the US government. I try to carve out blocks where I put on my headphones, and try to immerse myself in something creative like work or blogging. Going outside for a nice long walk really helps me refocus when I feel anxiety creeping in. It is ok to not be productive right now. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Take care of your health. We WILL get through this.