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i don’t know, sometimes i just don’t feel like it

Feeling refreshed today. Got up, made coffee sun is shining bright. Full moon last night was a real beaut, that Shewolf came outta my closet. Dreamt I dyed my hair silver grey and shaved both sides. Grew it longer on top too, it looked awesome. It just might look awesome.  Started watching Secret Diary of a Call girl online, it’s a pretty entertaining show.  Especially Friday night at home alone &  cozy in your bed. I rely on my phone alarm and it stuffed up twice this week freezing in the night, thus meaning I wake with just enough time, but no extra. Drives me freaking bananas, that extra time is the whole reason I SET an alarm. Next week, new alarm.  I spent a while reading Tavi Genston’s blog last night. You know her? She’s the new girl in town, Style Rookie, a serious 13 year old fashion blogger.…

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Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It #19 – It’s Ok.

You would think that after being away at the cottage for nearly two weeks I’d be clear-headed and ready to hit the ground running but I’M NOT. I’m distracted, frustrated, and wondering what I’m doing with my life! I played this song yesterday and sang out loud in my room. I’m just not sure what to do! I thought a lot about what I’ve been working on the last while and I don’t really want to do the same stuff anymore. I need a shift. Change. Check back in a week, maybe I’ll feel different, maybe I’ll feel same?

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Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It #16

I’ve been laying low the last month, posting less, staying in. I just haven’t felt like it. The other day I wrote down something I overheard Sean said on the phone when someone asked how things were, he said “a mix of awesome and shitty“. It stuck with me, that’s how I’ve been feeling the last month. On November 21st I was given a prestigious award from the President of Conestoga College, Alumni of Distinction. It was a proud moment when I sat at the back of the crowd with my mum and my ‘Fairy Godmother‘ (mum’s best friend) who watched me walk up and make a speech in front of the group. It felt amazing to be recognized for my career, not something that was voted on by social media but actually recognized by people older than me who didn’t really know me personally.  This part of the night was awesome.  It was really…

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You’re like 9 to 5, I’m the Weekend

I am so happy it’s finally NICE OUT. I know I’ve been a bit quiet and not posting as much the last couple weeks but I needed a break. Sometimes I go through stages where I don’t feel like sharing my life online. It can honestly be kind of overwhelming. Last week we spent 6 days at the cottage and it was just the reset I needed. This weekend we’re heading back up for 3 days and I’m going to do some gardening with Sean’s mum. I think it’s important to recognize when you need a break. I’m feeling a bit more inspired to wrote and share. I’ve been working on a few things behind the scenes with 1188 and other clients. On a side note, the tray and plates in the first post were on sale at Loblaws, I love them! This weekend I’ll spend some time catching up on…

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Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It #15

I didn’t realize how many days it has been since I blogged. There’s a handful of photos ready to publish in posts with no words. I haven’t had them to write. I mean they’re always floating around my head and in notes on my phone. Sometimes I don’t feel like sharing. It all sounds so dramatic when I write it down, I’ve just been working on other stuff.  A whole life happens behind scenes of a blog, with clients, speaking, freelance writing, new work, family time. This weather is 100% not helping my desire to stay cooped up in the house though. Binge-watching show after show, I’ve only gone to the store 1 block away since Sunday. Yesterday I watched a season and a half of Doctor Foster on Netflix. Today I’m going to make date scones and spaghetti bolognese.   It’s ok to stay inside. It’s ok to not want to share on…

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Sometimes I don’t feel like it #14

I started this post in the spring and it’s been sitting in drafts for a while. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. I love writing and blogging but sometimes I really don’t feel like sharing my life online. It’s the social media that stresses me out.  I daydream and think about people who just go to work and don’t have Facebook, they walk in a crowd listening to music never thinking about sharing it or seeing someone from Instagram. They don’t have to pretend they didn’t see that person they’re friends with on Facebook, passing them on the street.  I don’t remember what that’s like. I know I created this, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming sometimes. The world of social media and the internet have blown the F UP. Everyone and their dog has a blog or Instagram now. It’s almost impossible to avoid. I try though. I…

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Hi Mum, I just called to say thanks.

Today I rung mum at work and I think she must have been busy because she seemed a little surprised when I said ‘hi mum’. I told her I was calling to say thank you for having me and being so supportive. She didn’t have a lot of time to talk but I wanted to thank her for everything. To tell her I love calling her all the time when something exciting happens and I can’t tell anyone else or they just wouldn’t feel as excited as her. For all the times she stayed up late sewing ballet skirts to sell at the studio so she could afford our dance classes. For driving to all those dance competitions, skiing, skating, birthday parties, recitals, modelling, tae kwon do, and to all my friends houses for sleepovers. For showing me how to bake and encouraging me to make things in the kitchen, thank…

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Blog Life: Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It #12

Yesterday I updated the look of this ol’ bloggy and it’s really making me happy. Over the past 6 months I’ve been working lots (which is good but tiring), recovered from a major surgery, and was in a car accident. I don’t usually share much the blarghhhh days I but there’s been a few lately. It’s not ALLLL sunshine and rainbows, I am HUMAN!  I feel like post-election world has been really getting me down. Every single time you turn on the tv, internet, Facebook bad sh*t is happening. It’s sad and exhausting. 😩 Do you ever just feel like you need a f’n break?! AND THEN, on the opposite end of the spectrum you scroll FB/IG and it seems like people have these perfect lives. Last night I spoke on a panel about beauty & aging and something I mentioned is the ‘Facebook Self’ we all put out there. You know the…

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Sometimes You Just Need a Break

This weekend I’m taking a little drive to Cambridge to visit my parents for a few hours and I’m so stoked.  It’s hard to believe the summer is almost over! I love September, it feels like a little reset, opportunity to move forward, ditch old habits, and set new goals. I talk to mum almost everyday but haven’t seen her since before my birthday in May. She spends most of the summer on her boat and I’m at the cottage most weekends. It’s also been ages since I’ve seen Dad! Neither of my parents have seen me since my BR surgery in June, so I’m quite keen to visit. I’ve arranged a car that can fit both parents and their partners so I can take the whole gang out for brekky! It’s not THAT far away but since I don’t own a car it’s a bit of a hassle to get there…

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Blog Life: Sometimes I don’t feel like it. #11

I know today is Bell Let’s Talk day and I’m not sure how to talk about the depression and anxiety that I face or if I even want to. Being on the Internet in itself gives me anxiety. Some days I just don’t feel like it at all, written about it a few times.  Sometimes I want to hide and pretend I don’t even have a blog. (Or Twitter, tumblr, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, Instagram, Selfish, Rdio, Google+, Vine, or phone.) I like keeping to myself on on those days, not sharing stories.  Being alone. My dad battled depression growing up and it was really hard for our family. He moved back to New Zealand to be with his family when my parents split up and it was tough for us. It sill is sometimes. * Thanks Andrew Mitchell for drawing this photo of me. I love it.   I want you to know that I…

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Tech | We’re All Just Trying to Figure It Out

This might be one of my fav photos I’ve ever taken. I love it. Snapped with iPhone on a whim while leaving my sisters place. It brings back memories, nostalgia, I’m not even certain what exactly, just old times. Found the quote below over the weekend and it resonated with me. I’ve been reading here and there about impostor syndrome, the inability to unable to internalize accomplishments. When you feel like someone is going ‘figure you out’, realize you don’t know what you’re doing, see right through your whole charade. ‘Impostor Syndrome is the domain of the high achiever. Those who set the bar low are rarely it’s victim’ (Forbes). — CASIE STEWART November 24, 2014 It’s ok to not know what you’re doing, We’re all trying to figure it out as we go. I used to get severe anxiety before going to events, being on stage, speaking. It’s not…

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Blog life: Sometimes I don’t feel like it. #10

The last couple weeks have been very busy and it’s been a bit ghostly around here. In the last 4 weeks I returned from the trip a lifetime in Thailand, started a new job, and before I knew it the holidays were here. The number of blog posts this month has been significantly lower than normal. Every once in a while I publish a post with this same title, we’re up to 10 in 8 years so, as a daily blogger I think that’s not too bad. To be honest, having a blog is one of the best things in my life but it can be quite overwhelming at times. I’m planning a revamp for the new year so wait for it, it’s coming. I just needed a little break. I’m recharging my mental batteries and come January, I’ll be ready to rock. With love, CASIE

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Blog Life: Sometimes I don’t feel like it. #9

It’s a weird and wonderful thing having a blog, a public diary about your life. I love going back and reading about my adventures, Googling photos and finding lost memories, but, sometimes I don’t feel like it. This week, is one of those. Although, there’s no shortage of Instagrams and Tweets, Pins and reblogs on Tumblr flooding the Internet daily, all posted by me. This weekend I’m packing up my condo to move to the new house and I couldn’t be more happy about it don’t feel like it. I wanna play outside! I can’t wait for my trips to NY & LA next month. I’ll be back up at the cottage next weekend too. I reckon I’ll catch up on posts this weekend and we’ll be back business in no time! Hope you’re having a stellar day and sitting in somewhere with AC. Remember you can always find me…

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Sometimes I don’t feel like it. #7

Every once in a while I go through days I don’t feel like blogging. I don’t feel like sharing. I don’t have anything to say. I just don’t feel like it. This is #7 in a series of posts with the same title. Today was one of those days. Sometimes I wonder if anyone notices…and then I go to Twitter. 🙂 Have some giveaways coming up for holiday, an exciting announcement, and two upcoming trips. Been practicing my editing skills on a new video. Spending lots of time at home lately too. New job has filled my life with social excitement and responsibility in a completely different way. This week is the calm before December storm that starts next week! I really love the holidays. ♥ CASIE

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YOU ARE ONLY OLD IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.

Remember how I always tell you “you’ll never again be younger than you are today, so do something awesome”? Last night I experienced that in full force and I am going to tell you about it. I was feeling meh and tired sitting on the couch writing about how I didn’t feel like blogging when Sean asked me to come to a music video shoot.  It was over at midnight so I got dressed, put on some makeup and went. Being in videos is fun and I’m s sucker for being on camera. These guys are the band. They’re called Shit From Hell, they’re all successful lawyers/businessmen and around 50. Yes, 50. The crazy thing about one of them “Ritalin Boy” (second from left) was having open heart surgery in the morning. Like, NOW, while you are reading this he is on an operating table with doctors in his chest. He had to be at the…

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Blog Life: Sometimes I don’t feel like it. #6

Today was a really busy business day and all I feel like doing is getting a huge slice of chocolate cake and sitting on the couch. It’s my fav night for TV, Criminal Minds & Modern Family. I want to shut my brain off but there is no brain off button. I didn’t blog today until now which usually gives me anxiety but to I just didn’t really feel like today. I tweeted, had my hair done and went to a PR event. I made a couple drafts but nothing made it to publish. I’ve been reading poetry while I watch TV that I wrote years ago. I used to write all the time. Did you know I was a published author in 1996? I co-wrote an anthology of poetry and prose. Lots of work from 2003-2008 lives on MySpace in a far away blog from many moons ago. I’ve been…

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