How you doing? I’m feeling the weight of everything this week and it is heavy. My new job is great but adjusting from 6+ years of freelance to work 40 hours a week has been tiring. Watching the news and seeing things get worse is extremely draining. Not being able to see family when they’re going through their own things is heartbreaking. We’re not even allowed to meet friends in the park anymore.  Each day this week I opened my blog admin to write something and ended up writing the title and staring at the screen. I couldn’t find the words to document the day. I try to appreciate something good each day like the sun, a call from mum, a good outfit, or laughing over DM’s with a friend. It’s hard to stay motivated/positive right now. Things are pretty bad. We can only hope things will get better but perspective is hard when we’re stuck in the middle of a storm that’s been going on for 13 months.  Today I woke up thinking about work and excited to get things done. My motivation slowly declined when I checked my phone, laid back down in my fully made bed, and stared at the wall for a while. Do you find yourself staring at the wall too? Next, I watered my plants and moved some around, grabbed some snacks, made coffee, and turned into the couch.  In other news, keeping this pandemic diary is surprisingly therapeutic. Despite some days where I’m completely exhausted, there have been a lot of good days. I find myself looking back and remembering park hangs in the summer, bike rides, cottage life, and great meals we made at home. Thankful for friends and family, also Netflix/Prime, good wifi, and snacks.  Sending you love, hang in there. ?

Had a great week and was ready to close my computer at the end of the day. It felt like summer outside so I hopped on my bike for a cruise around the neighbourhood. I forgot how much I love bike riding! I’ve been drinking less lately but with the sun on my face and wind in my hair, I decided it was a great day for a beer. I stopped into Henderson Brewery just down the West Toronto Rail Path and cracked a can on the wooden platform. I love sitting there at the end of the day to watch the sun go down. Emily came back to our house after school today after being with her mum for the last two weeks. It’s official, we are the same height now! She is growing up so fast. It seems like just yesterday she was a little 8-year-old girl who didn’t mind me doing her hair or wearing dresses. They’re heading back up north for March April Break next week and I’m staying in the city for work. Hope you have a great weekend!

Woke up feeling fresh & happy it was Friday! Sean left for the cottage after dropping Em to school, she’s with her mum for the next week and I’m home alone. ? I had such a great workday today. In my afternoon meeting, we were chatting about branded products and it was a great opportunity to show some I’ve made over the years. I pulled out the stickers, note cards, and of course, the pillows I had made years ago. We all had a good laugh! Sending you good vibes today for a nice restful weekend. Get outside, feel the sun on your face, call a friend, support a local restaurant. Do something, do nothing, do whatever makes you happy!

Went for a walk this morning and wowwweeee it was brisk. Decided to take take a different route and pick up a coffee somewhere in the neighbourhood. As I turned onto Dupont, I noticed a cafe with this big heart out front. Finding hope. ? The coffee was good. I shared a laugh with the barista. Such a simple interaction but it set a good vibe for my day. It made me think about mum and when my sister and I were very little. As an immigrant to Canada with no family here, she didn’t know many people at first. Mum used to go into shops just to talk to shopkeepers just to have conversations. I can just see her kind face and warm smile lighting up conversations and charming people with her accent. Remember, a smile and short conversation can really turn someone’s day around, even your own. We need connection more than ever these days, call a friend, smile at a stranger. We’ll get through this. xo

Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year. I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard. Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Sending love from the woods.