Theres A Butterfly In There Somewhere!

It’s crazy that when everything is going great you can also feel like everything is crumbling. I don’t mean Murphy’s Law but like just life, in general, has this up and down thing as much as you try to keep a plateau. This week I had two great things come to the table, one that I have been working on in the background of everything else for years, and another potential opportunity to do something I used to do well. I was feeling good about it but I’m at the point in my career that I don’t get too excited until I have the cheque in my bank or a signed contract and we’re making the thing. There was a time I’d get sooo excited about an email. I’d ring mum at work and be like ‘omg mum guess what?” and go on about how someone from some company or tv station sent an email about doing a thing. Sometimes it turned out and sometimes it didn’t. I don’t count chickens anymore. Yesterday I woke up barely breathing with a deathly chest cold and it was hard to talk. The whole day was been hard because being sick makes everything harder. I had to cancel 2 meetings. 1 of which I first cancelled last week because I was sick. I’m going on day 7. I feel really bad about cancelling twice and even worse because I’m sick and I can’t help it. I took the photo above while sitting on the floor in my living room with the camera on the back of a chair. I’ve been wearing this vintage wolf shirt for at least 24 hours and I feel like complete garbage. I put on makeup to go to shoppers to get cough medicine to make myself feel better but tbh…

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Let’s Talk

Three events today. Ignore…. 33 Facebook notifications. Too many unread emails. Twitter notifications. Instagram notifications. Unread messages. It’s overwhelming. Then add on [that you’ve been keeping a public diary about your life for a decade and] all kinds of people who don’t really know you who think they ‘like totally’ know you because they’ve known you for 5+ years. They know about the cottage and people, places, things, thoughts. Boyfriends, birthdays, best friends. They’ve had babies and you’d recognize their kids now, but you don’t really know them. They know you, part of you, the sunshiney part where you’re always smiling and wearing bright colours, or going somewhere great looking good. They don’t see behind the screen, in the pile of clothes or messy closet. The days when you just can’t even, when you think about leaving the house. Or going to that event. When all you want to really do is stay home and cook in your kitchen or go to yoga because it makes you feel better. I feel like I need a break and maybe it’s the winter blues talking post vacation SAD*.  Maybe it’s because I’m on the waitlist for yoga at noon. Maybe it’s Time’s Up or Me Too. I don’t know. It’s freezing outside and blowing snow gives limited visibility. It’s also Bell Let’s Talk and Spring is just a few weeks away. It’s ok not to be ok. I’m not always ok. The last few weeks have been really hard. The trip to New Zealand was super fucking hard. My nana died and one of my uncles was being super controlling from the day I arrived to the point where I blocked him on Facebook. Travelling with your mum is not easy. I cried a lot for the first week of the trip. I cried…

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Tramping in New Zealand

OK, I know what you are thinking and I THOUGHT THE SAME THING. When I arrived in NZ we picked up the rental car at the airport. Next, we pulled into a parking lot at the airport to change into summer clothes. I took a few laps of the airport to get used to right-hand drive and being on the other side of the road. I was fine.  I drove us down to the Viaduct in Auckland to look at the boats. [Mum is really into sailing and has a boat, sailed from Ontario to the Bahamas and lived there for a year.] We went into a sailing shop and I saw this mug… We walked out of the store and very serious I came close to mum, and whispered in her ear “mum, what is tramping?“ I was so serious. Tramping? What is a tramping club? Mum, WTF IS TRAMPING? Because to me, ‘tramping’ would be something to do with tramps or going out to find a man. Something you might have done in college that involved a lot of shots. Nothing I would ever do, now. In New Zealand… TRAMPING IS HIKING! Tramping, known elsewhere as backpacking, rambling, hill walking or bushwalking, is a popular activity in New Zealand. Tramping is defined as a recreational activity involving walking over rough country. Wikipedia WELL, THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW. Here I am thinking something bad and it’s totally hiking.  So, I went tramping on Piha beach and it was AMAZING.

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Rest in Peace, Betty

Last night when the plane landed I received a text saying that nana had passed away. Mum and I left SF and I guess around that same time in NZ, Betty passed peacefully.  In a message from my auntie, she said ‘we were all in-flight together’. It was hard being there and seeing her struggling to eat or sit up. Nursing homes have this old smell and it is sad seeing people in their last days of life. It was my first time experiencing that and I felt sad but I wanted to be there, yet part of me wanted to run away from it. It gives you all these conflicting feelings about life and death, sprinkle that with a bit of family drama and it would give anyone anxiety. I’ve spent my whole life on the other side of the world from my family and not been there for any death or sickness. This trip was the first time I’d been there to experience something like this with relatives. We visited nana each day I was there in Palmerston North and mum stayed an extra week to be with her. I took photos and printed one of her and mum, then put it in a frame to put beside nana’s bed. Mum went through some of nana’s things and we all took a few mementoes to remember her. I painted her nails and did her lipstick. We told stories about Canada and our families here. Mum put some nice cream on her frail dry hands. I’m so glad we were able to be there with her in those final days, especially mum. I can only imagine how hard it was for her. Seeing her, and also leaving her. Betty was a strong woman. Always dressed well and wore lipstick. Her hair was always permed with…

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JUST HOLD ON WE’RE GOING HOME: live blog from 35,000ft!

Helloo! I’m on United flight 916 from Auckland, New Zealand to San Francisco, California. Mum and I are watching Battle of the Sexes movie about the Billie Jean King story. For years I’ve had a Billie Jean King quote framed on my wall that was given to me by mum when I was a teenager. Perfect timing for this movie considering what’s happening in the world right now. As the plane took off I put through an order for a ‘Time’s Up’ shirt via PayPal on my phone. Mum thought that was pretty cool and such a ‘me’ thing to do as the plane was taking off. As we were boarding I got a notification a new game of HQ Trivia was starting. I’ve got mum hooked on it this trip. We haven’t got higher than 7 questions but what does it matter?! we both love Scotty (the hilar host) and we have a bunch of laughs every single time. Passport in 1 hand @ScottRogowsky in the other. Boarding in AKL heading to SFO! HQ BABYYYYYY! pic.twitter.com/JJPK4vzzI7 — CASIE STEWART ☀️ (@casiestewart) January 15, 2018 Before driving to the airport I bought 2 books of stamps and sent off a pile of postcards I’ve written this trip. I asked people to give me their address and also sent them to people I’ve worked with or haven’t seen in a while. I love travelling so much. Sending postcards is something I’ve been doing the last few years and it always makes me feel great writing them and sending sunshine to people around the world. Sent heaps of postcards before I came to the airport! ??☀️?✌??❤️ pic.twitter.com/pBNxGrS0wO — CASIE STEWART ☀️ (@casiestewart) January 15, 2018 This trip was really awesome. I saw parts of NZ I’ve always wanted to and spend a…

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On The Road Again: Palmerston North to Lake Taupo

I spent most of today in the car on a 3hr road trip from Palmerston North to Taupo. Woke up feeling a bit groggy from loud singing Adele with mum after an amazing dinner and few bottles of wine with my cousins. We had so much fun together last night. I love having my family close, getting to know them, making jokes together, them making fun of me, and laughing. This trip has been so exciting. I went to say my last goodbye to nana at the home this morning. She was doing better than yesterday but she’s had quite a decline from the first day I saw her over a week ago. Getting old is sad. Next, we visited my cousin Lisa and gave gifts to her three darling little daughters. It was nice. Lisa came to visit us in Canada when she was 9. Her and my sister used to look so much alike. Lisa is 1/2 Maori and beautiful. Mum is staying in Palmy this week to spend more time with her mum and I’m on the road alone. The best parts of my trip today were stopping at least 10 times to take photos and post things on the internet. A long drive on the open road is nice but I like to take photos so luckily for me, New Zealand has a lot of rest stops. Aside from driving on the other side of the road, it’s pretty challenging because the roads are narrow and twist and wind all over the place. You really have to concentrate. I had my GoPro along for the drive and haven’t even checked the card for that yet. I’m planning to do some data backup and management on the long, nearly 24-hour journey back to Canada. I stopped to take some…

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The Best Fish & Chips Come Wrapped in Paper

The last couple days have been so incredibly lovely. We’ve been staying with Catherine and having so many laughs. The first day we visited nana who was doing ok but she seem’s a bit better. My last update I was feeling super emotional, it was real talk. Happy to report I’m feeling much better now. I’ve been meeting up with cousins and getting to know my family and my heart is full of love. Yesterday we went to Himatangi Beach for a long walk and swim.  IT WAS AMAAAAAZING. Both my mum and dad used to go there heaps growing up. My granddad used to have a beach house but I didn’t know which one so I don’t have a photo lol. I walked along with mum, and my cousins Alec (dad), Margot (his daughter), and their two little Scottie dogs. It was so much fun. They call them ‘doggos’! We ran up and down the beach playing with the pups and walking on water while the tide was out. After we stripped down to our togs (kiwi for bathing suit!) and body surfed in the ocean. That night Alec invited us over for dinner and we had a good kiwi bbq w/ salad, potatoes, steak, sausages, and wine. Lots of wine! Mum drove home lol. We all told stories around the table and laughed our heads off. We had more wine back at the house with my other cousins and I loved every minute of it. Doing a good job of making up for lost time while I’m here. Did a pop by and made dinner plans for my mum’s twin brother’s daughter and her family next week (another cousin party!). Today we tried to go to yoga but it was closed for the week. It’s crazy how everything shuts down…

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Hi from Palmerston North, aka Palmy!

Well my friends! It’s been almost 10 days since I’ve been away and it feels like forever! I had a nice time over the weekend at Coromandel with my family and the weather was beautiful. We had fresh fish everyday and I took as much time to read at the beach as possible. It’s lovely here but I can’t help but miss home, I miss everyone, my bf, my house, and even the snow. I’m grateful but it’s been a bit hard. I’m in Pamerston North now which is about 6 hours south from Auckland in the North Island. The air is warm and the air here smells fresh and clean. I love the smell of new Zealand. Yesterday I met some of my cousins for the first time and we shared laughs and stories at a cafe called Baristas. We’re staying with a friend of mum’s, like a sister, and she is so incredibly lovely. An artist who is all about positive energy with a garden full of monarch butterflies, apple & lemon trees, grape vines, and green grass. She also has 5G wifi and I’ve got my own room, so, about as good as it gets! Travelling with a parent is kinda stressful and if you have any tips please share. Stayed at a great Airbnb at Lake Taupo yesterday and then drove to our next destination Palmerston North. We visited my nana yesterday, mum’s mum, who isn’t doing that great and tbh don’t think will be around much longer. I’m glad I was able to bring mum to see her but just the weight of it all is heavy. I’ve cried a lot the last two days. It’s kind of weird being here because a lot of it is familiar from my previous trips but so much…

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Land of the Long White Cloud

Some photos from our first full day here in Auckland. We went to the beach, the mall, had a meat pie, and a nice visit with my auntie, mum’s sister.

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This is the Best Travel Accessory EVER.

Mum and I arrived in New Zealand earlier this week and the flight was pretty great. I was a little nervous about driving in NZ on the other side of the road with a right-hand drive car but it was totally ok. I was super alert after sleeping half of the flight from San Francisco to Auckland. Everyone knows the travel pillows below but they’re bulky, not that stylish, and don’t really hold up your head. Well, do I have the best travel accessory ever for you!  I ordered the Trtl pillow from Amazon and when mum came over before we left, she was like “ok I need one of these too”. So now I have ordered two. It was an absolute lifesaver for the journey here. It wraps around your neck like a scarf and the plastic bit under the cover holds your head up. I slept 5 hours on the 11-hour flight, incredible!  I picked up a few other things for this trip and they’ve already come in super handy. We’re in Auckland this week and driving up to the Coromandel Peninsula tomorrow to spend some time at the beach with some family on my dad’s side. I love it here so much. [amazon_link asins=’B00LB7REE6,B000NBM8JM,B071WZR9TP,B073RLH9M6′ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’casiestewartc-20′ marketplace=’CA’ link_id=’47bbdd10-eb4e-11e7-9d00-05a50c9e7c7b’] With love from New Zealand!

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Paris in the Springtime?

I’m nervous/excited today and that’s my favourite feeling in the world.  The feeling you get before something big happens, before you make a significant change or a go on a great adventure. Tomorrow I’m on set for a few scenes of my cameo in a feature film. Yes, me! Huge call sheet with lots of scenes and set times, characters, craft, lighting. So exciting! On Sunday mum and I leave for New Zealand. This is where we are spending 3 days over New Years with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. If you’ve been following, you’ll know Aeroplan covered the tickets for mum and I to go back to NZ. The video I shot with 1188/Aeroplan is now out and I am genuinely so excited. Scroll down to watch it! In other exciting travel news, Aeroplan just launched a new tool for using your Miles to book flights and get travel deals. I’ve been an Aeroplan member since I was a teenager and redeeming miles has been helpful in my adventures. I also have a credit card that helps me earn rewards. I got a chance to check out the site as soon as it launched and obvs my first instinct was to check the great deals. As more people book the great deals, more will come available. Some of the destinations on my vacation dreams list are Barcelona, Venice, Lisbon, and Athens. The interface is nice and clean and it’s easy to navigate. I found a great deal to Paris in the springtime which has been a dream of mine for the last few years.  I imagine Sean and I riding bikes with berets and baguettes, romantic walks by the tour Eiffel. Lots of flowers and cafes. I’m really excited and can’t wait for adventure that lies ahead. See my Aeroplan video below and check out the new travel…

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HAPPY DECEMBER!

I’m so excited for this month. I love doing Christmas things like baking and getting the tree with Sean and Emily. I love Christmas music! I can’t wait to take the trip of a lifetime w/ my mum. Next week I’m shooting a fun video I already can’t wait to share. Feeling grateful to be starting the month in New Orleans and ending it in New Zealand. It’s been 7 years since I’ve seen ANY of my family and 18 years since I’ve seen most of them! Looking forward to making lots of memories this month. Flying home tomorrow and can’t wait to see my bf! With love from New Orleans!

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New Zealand Here We Come!

OK, this post is kind of long, the TL;DR is I’M GOING TO NEW ZEALAND! I’d been saving up money & Aeroplan miles for months and in an amazing twist of events, Aeroplan is sending ME AND MUM and we’re going on a 21-day road trip next month. I’m so excited. I’ve wanted to go back and see my family for SO LONG and I’m thankful to Aeroplan for helping us get there, especially around the holidays! ???? It’s been hard to keep a secret until now but get ready for non-stop NZ for the next few months!Scroll to read a lovely story of how this came together! Last year around the holidays time I really missed my family, as I do every year except the one Christmas we had together when I was 12 (see above). I said to Sean, maybe next year I’ll get back to NZ for their summer. It was kind of a dream because it’s really far and expensive and you need to go for a while (few weeks). A few months into 2017 I started saving for a trip. I figured the only way I was going to actually get there is if I started focussing on it with active intentions and putting some money aside. In August I was in touch with Aeroplan about helping them promote a giveaway. A couple weeks later we started talking about a video project that you will see before the holidays. Another thing we talked about is how much I wanted to go back to New Zealand. I remember that call so well, it was a Friday morning, I was wearing a blue leather jacket, walking my bike and drinking a coffee after a manicure. We talked about the video project, going to NZ and they said…

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Celebrating the Power & Promise of Women! #Whatifwomen

#WhatIfWomen is a fundraising event for War Child, an organization that helps children in war-affected communities get back their childhood by giving them access to education and opportunity. On Monday I’m excited to celebrate The Power and Promise of Women with War Child Canada. You can get a ticket here.  Growing up, my mum really instilled in me that I could do anything and be anyone I wanted when I got older. It wasn’t easy and there were struggles but nothing like growing up in a war-torn country like Sudan or Iraq. For the past couple weeks, I’ve been working with the War Child team to join a group of incredibly inspiring women in this campaign. When they approached me about volunteering it was around the day when all the ‘Me too’ posts hit the internet and I nearly broke down talking about how important it is for women to support other women and girls. THOUGHTS ON MY MIND… What if women were given the same work opportunities as men? What if women had the courage to speak up without consequence? What if women had equal pay? What if women had equal access to education? What if women were given the chance to lead? What if women didn’t have to be scared of walking alone at night?  What if women grew up knowing they can achieve anything they want?  #WhatIfWomen earned the same as men? I’m volunteering w/ @WarChildCan, see blog for details! ❤️ https://t.co/lsnMMPo4xg pic.twitter.com/unZUt79ssZ — CASIE STEWART ☀️ (@casiestewart) November 2, 2017 November 6, 2017 | Eglinton Grand | Toronto | 6 pm | #WhatIfWomen You can still get a ticket to Monday’s event at Eglinton Grand featuring performances by Sarah McLachlan, Chantal Kreviazuk, and Ruth B. It’ll be a room full of strong voices coming together to show the world that compassion…

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