some times i don’t feel like it

I walked around for about an hour thinking about my life. I was having realizations and I felt like a crazy person. It was as if I was in a fog. I was having anxiety. Sometimes I freak out. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the internet anymore. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about stuff and sometimes I forget things.  I started freaking about my last minute trip to a foreign country. Panicked. Instant attack. I left the store. I walked down the street back in my own fog again.  I’m nervous about going but then think not going would be silly too. For a bunch of different reasons.  It’s a chance to relax and go some place  cool with bunch of cool old friends. Relax. I’m packing one bag;  one nice outfiit, one dress, one piece bathing suit, one yoga mat. This is the relax retreat. A true mini vacation/airport tour. Vanilla as some may say. I know when I come back Sunday I’ll have had lots of time with self.  I love traveling; airport, airplane, people, waiting, watching, thinking, moving.  I love being in motion.

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The Hardest Part is Through

This past week was a hard one for me. Actually, this entire month has been a challenge, I’ve been on the verge of a meltdown since May 2017 started with birthday anxiety. I had a trip to Jamaica that started with an allergic reaction in my eyes, where I couldn’t see that well, it rained heaps, I missed my bf, and I got my period. When I got home I was overwhelmed with anxiety about work I needed to get done, and it was a short week. I went to the 1188 office every day to get the music video I directed wrapped up, and didn’t really have time to work (at home like usual) on blog things. The week finished week with a full day on set. I was so tired. Finally, on Saturday, it happened. I legit had a meltdown. Our car had a problem with the tire so I rented a car for the afternoon with my car sharing app and left around 11:15 to make it to Scarborough by 12:15. Well, no, that wasn’t happening. It took me 45 min to get to the DVP (highway downtown for non-TO peeps) and by then I was feeling super stressed after leaving the house in a huff w/ Sean. Then mum called and it opened the floodgates to me balling my eyes out, stuck in traffic. It seemed like everything around me was collapsing. Then, it started raining and the event I was about to drive an hour to was canceled. BUT, I was already on the DVP and still in traffic. I took a few deep breaths and decided to get off the highway. Didn’t really know where I was heading but the end goal was home. I decided to put on the Lumineers album and for…

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This is My Life | Why Does Monday Suck Though?

‘Mondays are fine, you hate your job’ Years ago I worked as a tech recruiter in the financial district. We had a team meeting each morning at 8am. Thus meaning I would leave the house each day at 7:30am, dressed in a business type suit, with my briefcase style bag, Lenovo Thinkpad computer (it was 2008), and head down to Bay Street.  Around the 1-year mark on a Monday just before lunch, my boss pulled me into his office and said ‘Case, what’s wrong, you don’t seem your happy self?’ It was true. I wasn’t feeling it.  I didn’t want to do this job anymore.  I thought about quitting but I didn’t have much money and being lay off and getting two weeks would be much better. So, I toughed it out and kept going in for those early mornings. At this point, since my boss brought it up, I came out and said ‘I don’t wanna work here anymore’. He told me he knew and it was ok. we talked it out and I cleaned out my desk after lunch. They gave me 2 weeks pay and I never looked back. If you have going into work on Monday morning, BE THE CHANGE. Do something about it. There are heaps of new jobs in new industries being created each and every single day. or, if you’re not ready to leave your job, spend the weekend working on your hobby so you’ve got something exciting to think about. Work to make THAT your job. I work pretty much every single day, often less on weekends but sometimes more! Doing something I love means it doesn’t always feel like work. I mean sometimes I don’t feel like it but most the time I do. We only live once so don’t spent weeks, months, years doing…

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Tech | Download Your Classic MySpace Blog

I’m finally getting around to seriously book writing like I’ve been talking about for 10 years. Found a blog post from 2005 where I said I was writing a book [insert crying emoji]. April marks 10 years of blogging on my own blog platform. I rediscovered my old MySpace blogs today now that you can finally download them. MySpace had originally deleted ALL blogs without warning. Downloaded a heap of posts and went through all the HTML files renaming them. It felt good. Unfortunately I’ve lost my first, first ever blog from MicrosoftSpaces back in 2004 (they stopped helping users recover them in 2012). How To Download Your Classic MySpace Blog: Dig up that old login you haven’t used in ages and login to MySpace Go to to settings Click Account On the left you’ll see an option to migrate old photos to a new album and download old blogs Download. Took about 60 seconds to download my 100 posts in a .zip file Fall in love with your elf again OR have heaps of laughs at your MySpace selfies   One of the things I learned today was I haven’t changed that much. Well, I have but some things are still the same. I’m really inspired my going back over my old stuff and incredibly thankful that I didn’t give up and stop writing even though sometimes I really didn’t feel like blogging anymore.  See 10 posts titled ‘Sometimes I don’t feel like it‘ here. Recovered these old quizzes I shared back in 2006 from MySpace. Hahahaha Buzzfeed, you’re just stealing old ideas! Still love the Olsen Twins, still style twinning Nicole Richie, and still love summer. I remember reading this quote in high school and thought, I will write things worth reading and do things worth writing about, watch me! And that was after I’d already written…

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Lifestyle Trends This Week – June 2, 2012

I publish a lot of things on the Internet. I’ve been told is it’s hard to keep up with’. To me it is art. I have an obsessive compulsive obsession to make/build art/things/memories. Documentation is addicting. I’ve had days without Internet, I start scratching, yelling, freaking out, no just kidding, I do get antsy around 4pm. It happens more in weekends, sometimes I don’t feel like it then I miss it. My favorite social media sites right now are Instagram, Pinterest, Viddy and I use Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare to share them. This is what happened this week. Yellow and red were hot colours on my Instagram and Pinterest A Viddy I posted of a wizard guy with a fushingi ball was on the ‘whats’s hot page’. I used to go CRAZY using 12seconds.tv years ago, similar thing but not as awesome. Viddy is like Instagram for videos! It has filters, music, and a 15 second time clock. My profile is viddy/casiestewart. It’s intrgrated with Facebook timeline if you have’t noticed. I really love the DIY projects from Honestly WTF. I pinned this gorgeous Louis Vuitton studded collar from the 2012 Cruise Collection and a couple weeks ago I (started) one just like it. Mine’s not ready to come out yet. Weather is gloomy. About to do some work around the house and vaguely movies, currently on something about British school girls in boarding school on Cosmo. The sun came out for a few seconds, captured its soul. If you are still in the dark ages with an old phone you can browse any user’s Instaphotos in Statigram. Barbie made brekky. Beauty! Get off the couch or become the couch, do what you want! Bon weekend! 🙂

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you missed this yesterday

Shoulder icing. # Saturday brunch reco? I know some of you are experts on this! # iPhone 5 Could Be Revealed September #rumor http://on.mash.to/nN6o9l # I like it. RT @mashable: Twitter Adds Subtle New Feature – http://on.mash.to/p4QwAD # Photojojo Lens Shot Glass set, so cool! http://t.co/UVlVI37 # Fresh croissants! (@ Sobey’s) http://4sq.com/mUU0RF # Conference call. # RE: You did an awesome job! http://disq.us/2zsfzz # Hipster girls, shake yo a$$ http://t.co/yno5dLM # At what point will you feel you’ve accomplished something? When I’m dead & my funeral is selling seats. (@kreayshawn) http://t.co/sDydtbM # next time you are IN @raymitheminx http://t.co/ebSbQnv # yep @Zelartworks @TheEllenShow I got mad dance skills. http://t.co/Uxj7Kks # I’m dating Waldo. (@YouTube http://youtu.be/wu_35x_ilb4?a) # I know. I will. RT @flashpunk You should do more videos # Photoset: › Dita von Teese’s wedding dress was custom designed by Vivienne Westwood, made from seventeen… http://tumblr.com/xmj41x4dzt # michelleforan: http://t.co/iE8QAto # RE: @laurenonizzle yeah duder, dinner was so damn good. We had mega VIP. You would have loved it. Amex for the win! http://t.co/C1TUu9L # Shot by @KellyKruschel in Liberty Village, 2009. http://t.co/13vEjwE # Everest? http://t.co/Kg7TOpq or Lita? http://t.co/UTRXSoJ @jgrdnr @bettykissstyle? # BaBaBa BaBaBa BaBaBa! via @DJKidTronic (@YouTube http://youtu.be/wOMe-8Tf1Y0?a) # RE: @thinkcontra Love that girl. We just did a shoot for PinkMafia yo https://casiestewart.com/kreayshawn-photoshoot-f… http://disq.us/2zupxh # hashtag overhaul for Stella party tomorrow. get’er done #stellarparty http://twitpic.com/64y3ix # The difference between first & third world problems News.com.au http://t.co/dJOYJqk #firstworldproblems # this song is so lovely. someone awesome fall for me please. (@YouTube http://youtu.be/TWx5OX9Vqgk?a) # #LOVE http://disq.us/2zv0af # TIFF info & Fall Previews get me so excited. Dear Life, ILU. xoxo CASIE # New meme FTW! RT @GosiaAntkowski Move over owling & planking, “horsemaning” new trend : people posing as if beheaded http://t.co/y0SRyiy # me too babe! RT @kristenannehill Working on my happy dance. #goodthings…

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Kickoff to Summer – GrillzJam

This weekend, Shark|Ninja invited us to the incredible home of Toronto based artist Charles Pachter for a kickoff to summer. Panoramic views, great people, and the centrepiece of it all – a Ninja Woodfire Outdoor Grill. They were also giving away custom grillz onsite from Cappd. I didn’t win a custom grill but I would really like to have this outdoor grill on our patio. Especially Sean lol. Had a great chat with Charles about his career and beautiful home, both a private residence and gallery museum. He purchased the lot 1996 and there was a Jewish funeral home in the back, “I really took a chance with this place when no one else wanted to“. It was nice to see friends and eat snacks on the rooftop, just as the sun was setting. I had so many laughs my face legit hurt. Loved exploring the art, glass elevator, studio, and multiple patios. I first visited this house in 2010 (see below) and to quote myself, “Honestly, the place is stunning. If you ever get to go there, go. Actually, find a reason.” When I saw the theme was ’70’s mod/cool’, I knew my outfit right away. This silky jumpsuit has been sitting in my closet for months and I was waiting for the perfect moment to bring her out. Thank you Cappd, Ninja Kitchen Canada, DM Public for a great time & Charles Pachter for having us in your home. All photos by Nick, bestoftoronto.net. Show some love to this post on Instagram here! FROM THE ARCHIVES: SEPTEMBER 13, 2010 👩🏼‍💻 According to the archives, I first visited this same home in 2010 for a Toronto Film Fest party. Reading old blog posts is such a trip. It’s like an old diary, written by you at some point, yet you don’t remember writing…

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Fresh Hair for Spring

It’s spring! Finally! Soon enough flowers will start blooming and it won’t be as cold. Hard to believe we’re almost into Q2 of 2023. The start of this year has been interesting, sometimes I feel like it’s all going as planned, and then the next minute I just don’t know! In other news, I hadn’t had my hair done in ages and decided it was time. A friend recommended. Beni at Blunt Hair Co. so I booked an appt and went. I am so happy with how my hair looks now, obsessed. Book him here, he’s incredible. I am also so in love with my new freckles done by my friend Misty Fox! She’s an incredible makeup & SPF artist who is now doing semi-permanent makeup freckles. If this is something you’re interested in, send her a DM on Instagram @mistyfox and tell her I sent you. If you’re looking for a new cut, color, or style, go see Beni! Follow him on IG at @hair.by.beni.

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Day 618: Me & My Plants

Hello from me & my plants! To be honest, I keep wondering if I should stop counting the days but we are still in a PANDEMIC even though some things are “normal-ish”. Sometimes it feels like the pandemic is over but as of today, Ontario has a 46% rise in cases. I don’t mind being home, to be honest. I love the slower pace of life, the excuse to not go anywhere, the opportunity to bail at any time. I also love my plants so much. Anyhoo, saying “hi” and Happy Friday! Hope you have a great day!

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Day 376: You Make Me Happy

This week has been good. I’m getting into a workflow and figuring it out as I go. Most days I get up at 7-7:30, go for a run at 8 am, do a short Peloton workout, then get ready to start work at 9:30. If I’m at my desk or working inside the whole day, I like to put on something I’ve not worn in ages and go for a walk. Sometimes it’s just around the neighbourhood, other days it’s a nice long walk with a friend. YOU MAKE ME HAPPY The title of this post ‘you make me happy‘ is also a song also used in my latest video here. When I put on this jacket, it instantly made me smile. Made me think about how my clothes make me happy. So many of them have fond memories of a time or feeling. After spending 90% of 2020 at the cottage, one of the things I was really looking forward to was being home with my stuff. I love playing dress-up or sorting through things I haven’t worn in a while. While the world around us is so different, I find great comfort in the familiar things. Might be my Taurus nature to love home so much. I don’t have many family heirlooms but some of my most treasured things are clothes worn by my parents or anything from nana. Remember the other day when I mentioned Transitional Coat Season? Well, here we are again with another coat! I ordered this one 5+ years ago from one of my fav artists, Valfre in Mexico. It didn’t fit for years but I couldn’t bear to part with it, no matter how many times Sean said “you have too many coats“. Glad to report she fits great now and Valfre is…

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