i can hear you calling my name

I love this city, I do. For some reason, probably many reasons, I started feeling a travel bug this week. Maybe it’s the over whelming amount of things I need to do, starting with cleaning my room (again) and organizing the piles of paper, replying to emails, blogging about things that already happened. That’s the thing about the internet and having a blog about life, sometimes you just want to stop and go back to living a life like those other people who don’t internet their lives.  I caught up on sleep this weekend and spent some time with my sister. This stuff helps. I also hung out with my first love, he came to visit and I wondered if there is a spark still there, 10 years later, he’s still great but I think we’ve grown too far apart. I miss that someone special I was hanging out with for a while last year, it all ended so fast. Not having closure gives me anxiety. You get busy and forget about your heart sometimes but when it’s a rainy day at home you miss that love you once had. I can’t seem to find my flip cam in my room, I’m sure it’s just hiding, I know it’s there. I downloaded a whole bunch of apps to my phone last night, there’s this one police light that doesn’t the blue/red with sound. There’s a strobe light too. I’m sure I’ll fond some silly place to put it to use it along with the cheezy soundbyte apps. I’m getting a new tattoo tomorrow. Still have to send in my LGFW schedule for work. I’m most looking forward to Barbie on Thursday. I’ve been watching movies all day and they’re having an effect on my mood for sure,  one romantic comedy…

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believe in your self, dedication and discipline

This article was in the Toronto Metro yesterday & written by Rea McNamara. If you click on it you can read it  easier (Mum/Dad/friends).  I’ve worked really hard the last couple years on this whole social media thing. SO MANY late nights at home alone  with my computer, fiddling around with blog posts, learning HTML, installing/fixing wordpress plugins, editing photos and more. I’ve got over 21,000 tweets for christs sake, that’s a big time investment right there. Building a brand online takes work,  it takes work every single day whether you are building it for personal or business use. You just gotta stick at it. One of the best things I learned from my Mum is “just because you don’t have money, doesn’t mean you can’t compete, it just means you have to be more creative“. Creativity & determination don’t cost anything, yet they have gotten me further than anything else.  All the social media sites I use are FREE. I use them often and yes, it takes up lots of my time but THAT has been my investment. It’s also how I got one of the coolest jobs ever. Thank you for the feedback & positive comments. I love hearing from you. Got some great messages from people lately that inspire me to stick at it when sometimes I don’t feel like internetting. April 27th is my blog’s birthday and I think it deserves a party.

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balance sheet: january 27 2010 9:59pm

Sometimes I feel like it really knows me. We spend by far the most time together, late nights, all day at work,  mobile, me and the internet. I’ve been suprised recently by suggestions Facebook makes, or genius in itunes,  random captchas,  the little things. For example, today FB suggested I use mobile cause I don’t yet and in little text below said “this person & “thins person” are using it, I smiled. They were both boys I dated, how did you know that FB, I never really told you. You little creeper. FB was like, casually suggesting I should creep on over to their profile and see what they’ve been up to lately. I chuckled a little.  Oh internet… I find I remember stuff more now than ever. I like to take screen shots of trending topics on Twitter. It’s a snapshot of millions of conversations worldwide.  I also like to write things down when I think of them. Smartphone is good for that, emailing yourself notes.

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the process of changing apples to oranges

I wake up. Twist and scream. I think, why me? Sometimes live throws you curve balls. You can catch it. Pain, I can handle it. X-ray day today. Most people don’t like the doctor but it helps when he’s young and handsome like mine. I’m grateful for the friends/family who have been helping me. I’m thankful for Mum. I rung her so upset this morning and she saved the day. She made me feel better. Then I remembered it’s her birthday. I felt horrible. Finally did some laundry. I got flowers last night from the house where I fell. They’re beautiful. Getting read to go now. I can do this. It’s gonna be ok. Positive thinking. I just read over your Billie Jean King quote about achieving your dreams, Mum.  The one in the frame. Thank you. I love you.

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it was so weird at the time, i couldn’t stop myself

i’m not sure what happened but it did. i light went on. it was a few things that lead me there. creative people around me, compliments on creative work, being surrounded by smart, successful, creative business people. thinking about ‘it’s not how good you are it’s hot good you wanna be’, one of my favorite books. i feel like i can’t really go back now. they say if you do what you love you will have success, i love doing this. i love writing and taking photos and laughing at myself and remembering thing things i forget. it makes me happy to do social good; social good in funness, good causes, good people. i stayed up all night. learning about things. reading blogs, commenting. drawing in sketchbook.when i have an idea i write it down. i’ve found some neat stuff lately and most i’ve posted on my tubmlr blog. it’s all the things i find around the internet that i don’t put here but like to share. i read a great article called ‘the 7 vices of highly creative people, posted on salon.com, Feb. 9, 200o. i know i have my vices and bad habits, but i have good ones too. read it here. “If you go through life free of bad habits, you won’t live forever, but it will feel like it. ”

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and when it does i want to run away

this papers not as good for drawing its better for writing in pen i like when the pencil scratches the paper its thinner than the other paper and i like that one better because you can do more with different things and make it more colourful and full of life i don’t like to write on the back of the paper and i like when the words fill up the spaces of the flat piece of paper either and when words the same end up together it makes me smile and i like it the reporter is always writing and chasing stories i would rather be chased than chase the lives and run in circles around my own thoughts and how i feel about the lives of other people i like to report my own stories its new and always news its always new and always news but it gives me anxiety sometimes * from my moleskine

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there’s something about ‘zombie face’

Months ago I went through a Zombie phase. I loved it. I love Zombie face. I don’t like scary things, I mean like blood and guts and horror. Makes me feel anxiety and pain but let me tell you, there’s something about the tattoo I put on my arm that I totally love. I put it on again.  I wear fake tattoos and when I find one I like I buy the whole lot. Sometimes I don’t want it enough to have it all the time, just sometimes. I went for a bike ride to the LCBO on Queens Quay by the water. It was beautiful. There was one problem, this guy. This guy with his gut out, walking so freely along while topless.  It was not appealing. Thus,  I share with you as fair warning it is not recomended style to go walkabout like this unless you’re a babe. The tower.  The tower was pretty today beside my bike.

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How To – Of the Day

How to Handle Fame “I handle fame by not being famous…I’m not famous to me.” Bob Marley Whether you’re a celebrity, a politician, a MySpace star, dating someone famous, a well-known author, and even if you look different in a small town, you might be uncomfortable with being recognized wherever you go.How do you preserve a good reputation while still maintaining your privacy?(Don’t be a Waste-Case!!) Be boring to the public. The best way to maintain the privacy of your private life is to bore people to tears. Unless you’re one of those people who believes that all publicity is good publicity, it’s better to become famous (and stay famous) through the merit of your work, not because of a rollercoaster relationship, an addiction, a surprise pregnancy, or a glamorous wedding. If you’re a naturally flamboyant or free-spirited person, it might be difficult to stifle that, and you need to decide how you’re going to strike a balance between uninhibited expression and privacy, which tend to be mutually exclusive when you’re famous. Go to major events solo. Even if you’re married, the fact that you’re there together is bound to result in personal, sometimes totally inappropriate questions like “When are you having a baby?” or “When are you having another?” or even “How is your sex life?” Also, if you’re always attending events as a couple, all it takes is one event when your schedules conflict and you don’t show up together, and everyone will presume your relationship is on the rocks. If you do ever split up, the last thing you want is people wondering where your date is–talk about salt in the wound! That being said, sometimes being consistently dateless can stir its own breed of gossip, depending on the context–a famous celebrity going solo is understandable; a…

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