feeling young and restless

i’m having one of those days. i’ve got heaps to do.  it’s getting done but for some reason i’m just outta my head. i keep thinking, stop it, get back to work, don’t let your mind wonder, wander. i wish the sun would com out. it’s cold in here and i’ve not taken my jacket off all day. i even dressed cute today. sigh. i keep reminding myself how fun it’s gonna be tonight watching the hills with a bunch of friends at MTV.  i always wanted to be able to do  this. in my last post i was so excited and now i feel all weird.  i said something stupid last night to a friend after a couple drinks and i think that’s what is getting me.  sometimes we say things, it happens. the other day i got so upset over  something that was  not even necessary. i like to think i’m a simple girl but i’m complex and  my mind is like a labyrinth sometimes. i go back and read things tagged writing and i feel some what at ease. it must be the creativity, left hand, wild imagination sometimes gets the best of me. i’m nervous and excited most the time, i love this feeling but sometimes it leaves me feeling open and vulnerable and i get scared.  take my own advice, build  a bridge and get over it. the other thing is that when you do things online all the time it’s all out there for everyone to see, they can see you, you can see them, the world is somewhat translucent. you can see, but you can’t always see through. this helps, writing it out. i got  new analytics ,the other day. google, i love you but your site stats were just not cutting it…

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with your feet in the air and your head on the ground

up early feeling great. doing work today. blogs. magazine. facebook. twitter. doesn’t feel like work. could do it all day. i do. you’re doing it. just want you wanted to. i’m proud of you. realization motivation reach for the sky its not as far as you think

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i can hear you calling my name

I love this city, I do. For some reason, probably many reasons, I started feeling a travel bug this week. Maybe it’s the over whelming amount of things I need to do, starting with cleaning my room (again) and organizing the piles of paper, replying to emails, blogging about things that already happened. That’s the thing about the internet and having a blog about life, sometimes you just want to stop and go back to living a life like those other people who don’t internet their lives.  I caught up on sleep this weekend and spent some time with my sister. This stuff helps. I also hung out with my first love, he came to visit and I wondered if there is a spark still there, 10 years later, he’s still great but I think we’ve grown too far apart. I miss that someone special I was hanging out with for a while last year, it all ended so fast. Not having closure gives me anxiety. You get busy and forget about your heart sometimes but when it’s a rainy day at home you miss that love you once had. I can’t seem to find my flip cam in my room, I’m sure it’s just hiding, I know it’s there. I downloaded a whole bunch of apps to my phone last night, there’s this one police light that doesn’t the blue/red with sound. There’s a strobe light too. I’m sure I’ll fond some silly place to put it to use it along with the cheezy soundbyte apps. I’m getting a new tattoo tomorrow. Still have to send in my LGFW schedule for work. I’m most looking forward to Barbie on Thursday. I’ve been watching movies all day and they’re having an effect on my mood for sure,  one romantic comedy…

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flock of eagles

It really does not matter what you have, what you had, want, or what you own. You are whoever you want to be. How you perceive yourself has the biggest impact on how others perceive you, this is my belief and something I live. It was my dear mum that ingrained in me, “just because you don’t have money, doesn’t mean you can’t compete, you just have to be more creative”. Luckily for myself, I’ve always been rich in that department. The book in this post is one that I really, truly love and admire. It is written by Paul Arden one of the world’s top advertising guys who comes from a great career with Saatchi & Saatchi. This is not merely a ‘book‘, this is a bible for the creative, those driven to succeed who couldn’t even ever imagine what it’s like to ‘think inside the box‘. It has taught me tools to succeed in the world, to dream the unimaginable, to break the rules, and make my own path, leaving trails for others to follow. This book is about stretching the mind and thinking about where you want to be in the world. Do you want to be well known? The best in your field? Your country? Best in the world? Or best in the universe? You decide. I know where I want to be. Posted on September 26, 2008 Can’t Fly with the Eagles if You’re with the Seaguls – Mum

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i hid you from my newsfeed on facebook

i don’t wanna see your updates…i don’t want to know what you are doing…i don’t want to know how you feel about your day…or who commented on it…i don’t want to see who you reply to…or who you’re friends with now… i don’t wanna remove you completely, i just want you out of my thoughts right now… i don’t want to think about you…see your name…your recent activity…your face in the little square box…i hope you still read mine at work or home before bed… i fee like things got turned upside down… it’s easier to live out of sight out of mind…i censor what i see because i can…it made me hide a few others too like an old’s new girlfriend and negative thinkers… you know me, i like rainbows, unicorns and stars.

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it’s a beautiful say in the neighbourhood

Tweeted the pic to @blogTo yesterday morning and voila….now this is popular media! Toronto Star! Snoetry, graffiti in the snow…beat that Banksy.

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it’s like a time machine that connects all the time

i can’t write today, something’s wrong. i can’t smile today, life is a sad song. my heart hurts… so does my foot in my shoe. today is a sad day, without you. I wrote this poem when I was 14 many moons ago. It was published in an anthology called Jeans, I was co-author. I love picking up our book and reading things I wrote back then. Amazes me how they’re relevant and somehow connected to this future version of me.  I never really thought about putting out a second edition but today I did.  There is nothing stopping me but myself. I love writing and have written heaps and heaps of poems, hundreds in fact. I don’t know or really care if anyone even buys the book. I wanna write it (put it together)  to show myself  I can.  I know I can.  I can.

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balance sheet: january 27 2010 9:59pm

Sometimes I feel like it really knows me. We spend by far the most time together, late nights, all day at work,  mobile, me and the internet. I’ve been suprised recently by suggestions Facebook makes, or genius in itunes,  random captchas,  the little things. For example, today FB suggested I use mobile cause I don’t yet and in little text below said “this person & “thins person” are using it, I smiled. They were both boys I dated, how did you know that FB, I never really told you. You little creeper. FB was like, casually suggesting I should creep on over to their profile and see what they’ve been up to lately. I chuckled a little.  Oh internet… I find I remember stuff more now than ever. I like to take screen shots of trending topics on Twitter. It’s a snapshot of millions of conversations worldwide.  I also like to write things down when I think of them. Smartphone is good for that, emailing yourself notes.

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what do you do on a palendrome day

start it the same way you end it? 01022010 –Numbers ‘count’ as palendromes and today is one.  This is a really long one and good for the day: Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era [more]. I have fun on the internet…for example:  I just clicked a link from a guy on twitter and it took me to a tumblr when I clicked on it and found this site: My Life Is Average. At first I thought, average, like ordinary..who wants to be ordinary? But that’s not it, it’s little things not so bad like simple pleasures and some are funny. Like this: “On Thanksgiving, my grandma asked my cousin and me what “wtf” means. Not wanting to destroy her innocence, we told her it means “where’s the fudge.” She then spent the rest of the night saying “wtf” to everyone in the family. MILA” Legendary fun for the whole family I reckon. I can see Jenie and I and the cuzzies.  My cousin Matt (with the camera) came to visit me in Australia and party this one time (fb pic). It was epic.

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chasing your own tail around the christmas tree

Holidays are pretty much the busiest time of the year…for everyone. This week I’m running around like freaking MANIAC. It seems, so is everyone else I know/need to see/like/love/try to avoid. Tonight is the finale for one of our shows at work, you might have heard of it, Peak Season? Anyhooters, I’ll be tweeting away for that tonight. Tomorrow I’m getting my teeth whitened thanks to Pure Med Spa. Hope it doesn’t hurt! Wednesday is the ever famous HoHoTO that I’m planning to make an appearance at. Thursday, is  pretty much the last day before I leave to finish up all my work for blogMuch/MTV cause Friday is filled with holiday jazz. Thursday night I’ve got my sista coming by to pick up holiday prezzies for the whole fam-dam. Ah…take a deep breath…all I really wanna do is this…..

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leave that nine to five up on the shelf

Leaving 15 minutes earlier didn’t get us here any faster. National Car Free day but CP24 was showing massive traffic. Feel like it’s gonna be a productive one. Wore my wellies, there’s a rain-a-coming. Had a good sleep, back’s getting better. Feeling quite creative today.Might paint tonight. Time for a new sketch book again. I’ve filled up two every quarter for the past year. Found out I’m getting the new CK for men in the mail soon. Will have some samples too. I hope i comes in a big box. I wonder what catering will bring for lunch today. I’m reading a new book by Tucker Max. There’s a movie coming out of it. Pretty hilarious. I really should write down more stories. The ones that go untold and would never  be published here. I’ve done some pretty ridiculous and hilarious things. I’m thankful for all my experiences as they make me who I am today. I’m behind on FB & email messages, will get to that later. Gonna check a few bitches off my list so I feel good when lunch rolls in. Have a GREAT day! Bye. p.s. Happy Birthday to my twabe Rachel a.k.a @stealingkitty in Texas she turns 40 today! I sang her happy birthday on 12 seconds this morning 🙂 Love ya xo

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because when it’s quiet the only sound is the voice in my head

Rain today. Calming, refreshing, inspiring. I wear earphones to block out the noise. No noise. Silence helps me connect my thoughts. Creative thoughts. Creative thoughts on making things. Making things creative. waiting……………………………#borderlineartistic on 12seconds.tv On the way in I saw an adorable old woman with a cane who had just placed a ‘P’ sign on the sidewalk in front of her house. There was already one car parked on the lawn. “That’ a great idea” I shouted. There are a few people around the are doing it while the CNE is on. We wanted to do that at my old house on the Danforth during Taste of the Danforth since we lived right where the action was. We never ended up doing it because we always had friends over. They parked in the spots. I should have invited them over and said “hi friends, thanks for coming. It’s $10 to park here” . Haha, funny money. The sun just came out. Wore two different socks today. Happy Wednesday 🙂

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you’ve won an all inclusive vacation to balconia

Nice outside today. I had a teacher in college that said he was spending the summer in beautiful Balconia and I  assumed it was somewhere in Europe. Nope, Blaconia = balcony, as in your own. It’s a more mod and exotic way to say the now popular term ‘staycation’. These are something things in my room I like a lot. Natalie Dee = favorite comic. She’s a riot. She posts new ones everyday. I have heaps of hers saved to look at later. This is a good one. One of my first blog stickers is on the bottom. One of my most favorite photos us us girls. It was in the back yard at Mum’s one summer. It’s been ages since I went home. I reckon i’m due. We used to have this Zen page-a-day calendar at home back in the 1990’s.  I always really like the Shakespeare ones.

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