Omg, I am still sick and I hate it. Left the house for a hot minute this morning to get some meds and liquids but urghhh. I know I’m smiling here but I feel gross, I sound even worse. My chest is heavy and it’s hard to breathe. I put a filter on it. You can still smile when you’re sick. ?
I don’t even know if I feel better. I might be more stuffed up today than the last 4 days. I just don’t know anymore. My room is a mess, it’s more like a closet with a bed in it.
Since I’ve been in the house so much lately I’ve taken to getting WILD with the Instant Pot. Today I was inspired by my grocery store trip to make a soup using mixed beans and corn.
Veg Cauliflower Corn Soup
Energy Ball ingredients
The Soup Is Easy
I didn’t photograph making it. It was easy and unglamorous. Sean liked it. I’ll make it again. Cauliflower + broth + coconut milk make a tasty soup base.
Put a head of cauliflower on the trivet chopped in two.
Add can of corn (not creamed), can of mixed beans (drained), can of coconut milk, cup of broth, a cup of water, bit of salt, chilli flakes.
Cook for 12 min on manual.
Take out trivet, give a stir w/ a whisk, voila! Delicious soup.
Top w/ cilantro and some pepper.
In other news about things I made today, Sean bought a huge thing of dates so I cut some up in mixed in coconut, coconut oil, cocoa, and ground flax seed. Rolled them into little balls and popped in the freezer. They’re delicious.
This isn’t my photo or the ones I made but they looked like this. Recipe here.
Since being sick I’ve been eating mostly homemade food and no meat. I’ve been drinking heaps of water every day and getting a lot of rest. Taking my vitamins. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I really hope I feel better tomorrow. I hate being sick. I read in the news about how the ‘2018 Flu is Deadly’ and people are literally dying all over North America. I don’t want to die.
After days of being cooped up in the house, I needed to break free! Hung out w/2 of my bff last night and it was so nice to share laughs and stories. I’ve still got a cough today but feel a bit refreshed. Decided to skip yoga and hibernate.
Yesterday I started watching Flesh and Bone on Amazon Video, a show about professional ballet. I stopped dance when I was 13 but I did ballet for 10 years. I spent a lot of my childhood at the dance studio.
My teacher Lisa Meyerhofer was amazing. I learned heaps much from her, I realize more with age. She taught me to walk with confidence, shoulders back, head high. Dance was hard, there were a lot of times I wanted to quit but by not quitting, I gained so much. I learned to persevere and work through it. I remember crying to mum about wanting to quit and her not giving me that option. I can imagine as a parent that was hard but I’m incredibly grateful. I wrote about dance here.
This is me ?
First recital, 5, I was a Fluffy CloudMy first solo ‘The Clown’, 9-10yo, mum made this costume out of the most beautiful fabric
Today Sean and I started Netflix’s new show Altered Carbon that came out on Friday. Pretty good so far. “Set in a future where consciousness is digitized and stored, a prisoner returns to life in a new body and must solve a mind-bending murder to win his freedom.” FYI this show contains sex, drugs, and violence. It’s starring Joel Kinnaman the guy who plays Will Conway in House of Cards. Almost full frontal! ?
OK, that’s all for today. Blending into the couch.
It’s crazy that when everything is going great you can also feel like everything is crumbling. I don’t mean Murphy’s Law but like just life, in general, has this up and down thing as much as you try to keep a plateau. This week I had two great things come to the table, one that I have been working on in the background of everything else for years, and another potential opportunity to do something I used to do well. I was feeling good about it but I’m at the point in my career that I don’t get too excited until I have the cheque in my bank or a signed contract and we’re making the thing. There was a time I’d get sooo excited about an email. I’d ring mum at work and be like ‘omg mum guess what?” and go on about how someone from some company or tv station sent an email about doing a thing. Sometimes it turned out and sometimes it didn’t. I don’t count chickens anymore.
Yesterday I woke up barely breathing with a deathly chest cold and it was hard to talk. The whole day was been hard because being sick makes everything harder. I had to cancel 2 meetings. 1 of which I first cancelled last week because I was sick. I’m going on day 7. I feel really bad about cancelling twice and even worse because I’m sick and I can’t help it.
I took the photo above while sitting on the floor in my living room with the camera on the back of a chair. I’ve been wearing this vintage wolf shirt for at least 24 hours and I feel like complete garbage. I put on makeup to go to shoppers to get cough medicine to make myself feel better but tbh it didn’t really work. As soon as I open my mouth you can tell you should keep your distance. I sound like a haunting, creepy old lady/man who smoked 200 cigs a day for life. It’s not cute.
DO NOT BE FOOLED. FEEL LIKE GARBAGE.
Later in the evening, I had a nice time watching Moana with Embot and eating homemade lasagna I made the other day. Everything was fine until I was cleaning up and poured some of the remnants of a Thai green curry I made [I’ve been cooking a lot] down the toilet. Well, apparently that was A HORRIBLE FUCKING IDEA. I went to the bathroom 15min later forgetting about the soup thing and then went into the kitchen. I heard water running. Did I leave the tap on? Maybe I should lay down, am I ok?…NO, NO TAP ON, TOILET OVERFLOWING. EVERYWHERE. WATER ON THE FLOOR. Clean water but STILL. FML FML.
Next, someone is pounding on the door, I open it to the downstairs neighbour YELLING at me because the water is leaking into her house. I say sorry and start crying. I can’t handle this rn. The other neighbour is also there and she comes in to turn off the water. I’m sick and stuffed up and there is water everywhere and fuck fuck fuck. Sean is on the phone upstairs and I tried to use the plunger myself without bothering him but I think I made it worse and oh my god she keeps yelling. I run upstairs and through tears and raspy voice I tell him he needs to come downstairs NOW. I’m crying more. Emily hugs me. Neighbour says ‘hi Emily!’ and is back to fast, loud talking right at Sean and me.
I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do. Sean goes to her place. The damage isn’t bad, like at all. He fixes the toilet. Everything is fine. Except me. I’m more stuffed up than I was before, dehydrated, and my face is puffy. I just want to crawl into the cocoon that is my bed and stay there until the butterfly inside is ready to come out. ?
Today we’re laughing about the whole thing. I mean Sean is laughing more than me but it’s ok. Haha. I’ve always been a little dramatic. You can’t sweat the small stuff! Today is a new day!
POSITIVE SIDE NOTE
When I was in New Zealand, Catherine had so many caterpillars in her backyard. They were everywhere and ate so much food. It was a daily trip to get new plants for them to eat. Reckon over a hundred while I was there. Some were lost in winds from the tropical storm, but many survived.
Monarch butterflies were dancing in the air all over the place. It was some kind of magic.
Two years ago today I was in Cabo with Sean on a sponsored trip w/ Sunwing. It was an ok trip. We had a pretty strict itinerary and were at a remote resort but the sun was beautiful and we had a great room. When I look at this photo, I think about how I had to post a certain number of things each day and it was kinda stressful. This was one of the photos I posted to IG during the trip to document stand paddle boarding. The other thing I see when I look at this photo is the size of my boobs.
Surfing photo, hiding the boobs here again.
Six months after this trip I had a breast reduction. For years I would hide them, they never fit properly in a bathing suit, or a bra, especially a sports bra. I hated them and was at the point where I was willing to pay for the surgery myself when the phone call came in. I am so glad I went through that process and have smaller boobs now.
The biggest change, aside from working out in 1 bra only is the effect it had on my mental health. I’m happier. I’m more confident. I was always a happy person with confidence but the change for me is in how I feel on the inside. I don’t stress about shirt buttons popping open anymore, I can just throw on something and get dressed really fast, I wear tighter stuff without feeling likes someone might say “whoa Tits McGee!”. That happened a few times before lol. I can laugh about it now, but having huge boobs was something that I really stressed about. I had a DD and was 100Lbs when I started high school, it wasn’t fun. For the last few years before the surgery, I never wore v-neck, low cut, backless, strapless, tank tops, or spaghetti strap. And the only t-shirts were definitely baggy.
If you have ever thought about going through the process of getting the reduction, I am happy to chat you about my process. It was covered by OHIP and I saw a great surgeon in North York. I personally know a couple women who have done it for me and it’s a real life changer.
These days I love working out, the gym, yoga, and running outside. I’m working on my summer muscles already and I can’t wait for summer. There are 46 days until the first day of Spring and according to the groundhog, we’ve got 6 more weeks of winter taking us to March 16th.
Sean and I on a jetski in Cabo! You can barely see the famous archway in the distance!
Ahhh. Hellooooo February! I felt good to write all that down yesterday. Remember Instagram is only one angle on a 360º life. There’s a lot you can’t see through a screen!
I had to send photos to a producer of our house today and omg I was like ‘ahhhh our house is a mess‘ and she said everyone says that. When you see that person post their oh-so-perfect living room, kitchen, office, remember it there’s a chance (a good chance!) doesn’t always look like that and there just might be a pile of stuff on the other side of the room. On the other hand, they also might find immense joy in perfecting their Instagram post because that’s the life they want to live. You never who’s is dealing with a death in the family, a cheating spouse, sick kid, putting food on the table, or just making their rent. Instagram allows us to build the reality we want to live in. If you’re lucky, you’ll follow some people who like to keep it real like Lauren (This Renegade Love) or Gracie (Edit 7 Mag). I try to keep it real but day after day, IG is less of a platform I love, ex…
wo wo wo Instagram wtf just saw a 6-day old post like no. no thank you.
There is no sense in comparing yourself to someone you see on the internet. Like, if Beyonce got a new car or house, you wouldn’t compare or feel bad you didn’t have it too. So, don’t do it!
Live your best life. Work hard and be nice to people.
In other news, Instagram launched new fonts today. Just go to the screen where you add text and tap the top of the screen to get different fonts. Also, FB is saying they might ixnay the newsfeed and put Stories at the forefront [more on that here].
Also, it’s not snowing so I didn’t wear socks. It’s going down to -15 tonight! SPRING, I AM SO READY FOR YOU BABY! Also, this header photo is a stock photo from Unslpash. My desk isn’t ready for photos today!
