You’re like 9 to 5, I’m the Weekend

I am so happy it’s finally NICE OUT. I know I’ve been a bit quiet and not posting as much the last couple weeks but I needed a break. Sometimes I go through stages where I don’t feel like sharing my life online. It can honestly be kind of overwhelming. Last week we spent 6 days at the cottage and it was just the reset I needed. This weekend we’re heading back up for 3 days and I’m going to do some gardening with Sean’s mum. I think it’s important to recognize when you need a break. I’m feeling a bit more inspired to wrote and share. I’ve been working on a few things behind the scenes with 1188 and other clients. On a side note, the tray and plates in the first post were on sale at Loblaws, I love them! This weekend I’ll spend some time catching up on posts and fill you in on what I’ve been up to.  

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You remind me of a sunshine the way you light up a room.

I used to post a lot of collage photos of my faces, different faces, expressions. I mean, used to as in the ‘old days’ of social media, pre-Instagram, early Twitter. I love taking photos of myself and documenting them. I love myself and I want you to know that. You should love yourself too. What else can I say? You gotta love yourself first because the more love you have, the more love you can give to others. Love and kindness are infinite. I always thought it was fun to take a million (ok, a hundred?) photos of my facial expressions and post them. As a kid, I spent heaps of time making faces in the mirror, ask mum. Honestly, I take about 50+ sometimes before I get one I want to post. I’ve always had an expressive face. When I was a kid, I did a lot of dance competitions across Ontario, New York, Myrtle Beach. At one competition my adjudicator was Patsy Swayze, Patrick Swayze’s mum. She trained him for Dirty Dancing in 1987 when I was 5. It was circa 1990 when she recorded a tape about me.  Back then, judges used to record their comments on tape while you were dancing and give it to you after the awards. I still have the tape of her talking about me. She said, “it’s too bad we don’t have lighting from the audience to show this child’s facial expression because she really does deserve it”. To this day, that is one of my proudest moments. “it’s too bad we don’t have lighting from the audience to show this child’s facial expression because she really does deserve it” I will never stop showing who I am. I’m too damn old to try and pretend to be someone else, gah, imagine how much work that would be? I am who I…

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Do Nothing and Chill ✔️

After days of being cooped up in the house, I needed to break free! Hung out w/2 of my bff last night and it was so nice to share laughs and stories. I’ve still got a cough today but feel a bit refreshed. Decided to skip yoga and hibernate. Yesterday I started watching Flesh and Bone on Amazon Video, a show about professional ballet. I stopped dance when I was 13 but I did ballet for 10 years. I spent a lot of my childhood at the dance studio. My teacher Lisa Meyerhofer was amazing. I learned heaps much from her, I realize more with age. She taught me to walk with confidence, shoulders back, head high. Dance was hard, there were a lot of times I wanted to quit but by not quitting, I gained so much. I learned to persevere and work through it. I remember crying to mum about wanting to quit and her not giving me that option. I can imagine as a parent that was hard but I’m incredibly grateful. I wrote about dance here. This is me ? Today Sean and I started Netflix’s new show Altered Carbon that came out on Friday. Pretty good so far. “Set in a future where consciousness is digitized and stored, a prisoner returns to life in a new body and must solve a mind-bending murder to win his freedom.”  FYI this show contains sex, drugs, and violence. It’s starring Joel Kinnaman the guy who plays Will Conway in House of Cards. Almost full frontal! ? OK, that’s all for today. Blending into the couch.  

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Theres A Butterfly In There Somewhere!

It’s crazy that when everything is going great you can also feel like everything is crumbling. I don’t mean Murphy’s Law but like just life, in general, has this up and down thing as much as you try to keep a plateau. This week I had two great things come to the table, one that I have been working on in the background of everything else for years, and another potential opportunity to do something I used to do well. I was feeling good about it but I’m at the point in my career that I don’t get too excited until I have the cheque in my bank or a signed contract and we’re making the thing. There was a time I’d get sooo excited about an email. I’d ring mum at work and be like ‘omg mum guess what?” and go on about how someone from some company or tv station sent an email about doing a thing. Sometimes it turned out and sometimes it didn’t. I don’t count chickens anymore. Yesterday I woke up barely breathing with a deathly chest cold and it was hard to talk. The whole day was been hard because being sick makes everything harder. I had to cancel 2 meetings. 1 of which I first cancelled last week because I was sick. I’m going on day 7. I feel really bad about cancelling twice and even worse because I’m sick and I can’t help it. I took the photo above while sitting on the floor in my living room with the camera on the back of a chair. I’ve been wearing this vintage wolf shirt for at least 24 hours and I feel like complete garbage. I put on makeup to go to shoppers to get cough medicine to make myself feel better but tbh…

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Let’s Talk

Three events today. Ignore…. 33 Facebook notifications. Too many unread emails. Twitter notifications. Instagram notifications. Unread messages. It’s overwhelming. Then add on [that you’ve been keeping a public diary about your life for a decade and] all kinds of people who don’t really know you who think they ‘like totally’ know you because they’ve known you for 5+ years. They know about the cottage and people, places, things, thoughts. Boyfriends, birthdays, best friends. They’ve had babies and you’d recognize their kids now, but you don’t really know them. They know you, part of you, the sunshiney part where you’re always smiling and wearing bright colours, or going somewhere great looking good. They don’t see behind the screen, in the pile of clothes or messy closet. The days when you just can’t even, when you think about leaving the house. Or going to that event. When all you want to really do is stay home and cook in your kitchen or go to yoga because it makes you feel better. I feel like I need a break and maybe it’s the winter blues talking post vacation SAD*.  Maybe it’s because I’m on the waitlist for yoga at noon. Maybe it’s Time’s Up or Me Too. I don’t know. It’s freezing outside and blowing snow gives limited visibility. It’s also Bell Let’s Talk and Spring is just a few weeks away. It’s ok not to be ok. I’m not always ok. The last few weeks have been really hard. The trip to New Zealand was super fucking hard. My nana died and one of my uncles was being super controlling from the day I arrived to the point where I blocked him on Facebook. Travelling with your mum is not easy. I cried a lot for the first week of the trip. I cried…

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