Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year. I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard. Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Sending love from the woods.

Today was a good day. Left the house late afternoon to meet Natalie and her dog Chloe for a walk before the sun went down. We sat outside in the park by the Telus Centre near the Royal Conservatory of music, then went around the park. Walked through some of the University of Toronto buildings and I recognized a bunch of from Tiny Pretty Things on Netflix. There are heaps of recognizable locations if you’re watching the show, see some of them here on BlogTO. Good show, I’ll finish it tonight. Before heading home I had a little meetup outside with Nelson & Talia. We went to Eatily and got groceries. It felt like being out on the town! It’s been so long since I went to a place with anyone other than Sean. We were all wearing masks and only inside a grocery store, but it was invigorating! Earlier in the day, after my run, I tried a TikTok hair trend to do natural, heatless waves with a belt from a robe. I wasn’t sure how it worked at first but as the day went on, the curls relaxed and my hair looked great. I can’t wait to try it again and get really good at this. I’ve dreamed of having long hair for years and without the pandemic, I would have probably cut it. The title of this post on Day 311 is Amber by the band 311. My sister and I used to love this one so much. It will make you smile. ?

I swear I’ll never have a ‘live, love, laugh’ sign at our house or the cottage, but, it’s really, it’s important to do all three!! OK? Mum if you are reading this, there’s a meme about it…see more here. These days it’s harder to live (with a lockdown), love is so important, and laughter will brighten your day. One of the things I really love about Sean is that he makes me laugh every single day. I call mum (at least!) once a day for a little love, laughter, and lots of inspiration I went for a nice walk with my sister and we laughed our heads off. Seeing friends for distanced walks truly gives me SO MUCH LIFE. Monday is her birthday so it was nice to spend some time together. I miss my friends but I am thankful for my sister, friends who live close, and technology for bringing us all together. Here’s to a nice weekend at home and getting some rest!

Yesterday I met up with Natalie for a distanced walk outside. Instead of taking the TTC or an Uber, I decided to take a long walk from my area to meet her at Yonge/Bloor. It’s about an hour away by foot, I left at 4pm to get there before the sun went down. We walked around the ROM/Yorkville for about an hour before I headed home. I don’t normally walk outside when it’s dark but since I didn’t have any Friday night plans, I took the hour to walk home along Bloor. Made it back to the house just in time to catch the very last episode of Jeopardy hosted by Alex Trebek. Edited these with the new PinkPapaya app! Mask is by Considerate Goods. I’m planning to spend some this weekend catching up on a few things I didn’t get done for work last week. Found it really hard to concentrate the last few days with everything going on, hard not to get distracted by the news, and fall into a deep doomscroll. I’ve found that taking a little walk during the day helps to boost my spirit and help me refocus when I get back home. It’s all going to be ok. We’ll get through this. xo

Wow, 200 days, here we are. What a time to be alive. I met up with Blair for coffee and we both wore our jumpsuits from Zara Kids. We sat outside, distanced on Jimmy’s patio and it was cute to see how people smiled at our outfits. Gotta appreciate the small joys these days! I came back home after our date to make a 1pm meeting. I don’t know exactly if it was the news, the weather, or just life, but I felt totally tired in the afternoon. Sean and I finished Ratched on Netflix and then I remembered tomorrow is Halloween. I was ready for bed at 6pm, then had a burst of energy around 9pm when I put on some spooky tunes and danced around the kitchen. I’m excited about Halloween this year, I love dressing up. Halloween is a spirit, a feeling, and if you’ve got it, go ahead and let it out. I’ve been wearing ‘costumes‘ for the last few weeks and things are about to get a little more creative. I’m tempted to go out dressed as a witch for a bunch of days in October. Zombie? Why the hell not!?