CASIE STEWART
THIS IS MY LIFE • BLOG EST. 2005
Writing

deliberately undeveloped literary fragments

deliberately undeveloped literary fragments

Tried marble nails last night. Need practice. Didn’t blog yesterday. First day off in ages. Made cabbage soup. Hope to drop a few LBs. Slept funny on shoulder. It’s hurting now. Have lots of meetings this week. Work is good. Looks relatively warm outside. Sun is shining. Might clean my room today. Probably not likely. Feeling rather artistic. Breakfast with my sketchbook. Heart’s a little empty. Missing you a bit. Time to make coffee. Have a wonderful day. <3

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Writing

If not now, when?

If not now, when?

Ask yourself this every single day.  I’m sitting in the Boston Logan Airport lounge listening to music and soaking up as much free wifi as a girl can. I got to thinking about life and goals and what I dreamed of doing and where I’m going. Not like, back to Toronto but where am I really going? I think January is a time everyone does that introspective look into their life and wonders, what am I doing? It’s probably also why people get sad and maybe have breakdowns! Last year in January I considered giving up blogging and getting a 9-5 job. I’m really glad I didn’t.  The last two years have been filled with all kinds of things I only ever dreamed would happen. How did I get to do them? How did I make them a reality? I feel inspired to tell you today. When I was in Australia at Uni (2004 & pre-blog) I often felt homesick. I missed my sister terribly and everyone from home seemed light years away. One fine day I went to a bookstore in search of  ‘something’ that would give me guidance or direction or make me feel better.  I picked up The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg, a book that claimed to be ‘technology for the soul’. I went home and read it cover to cover in one sitting, staying up all night, moving from couch to bed to floor until it was finished.  I was not raised religious and this book wasn’t about that at all. It was about the power of the universe and creating the life you wanted.  It was spiritual wisdom. It helped me realize that I could have everything I ever wanted. It helped me understand that I already did. As I embarked on this journey of self-discovery (I…

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Writing

time capsule creative: november 16, 2006

time capsule creative: november 16, 2006

Once I thought I lost the contents my first external hard drive. It was November 16, 2005. I was heart broken. Like no other love I’ve ever had, it was my everything. Devastated. Distraught. Thinking about that day now, and you reading this, my heart, it still hurts, feels like like a day old punch. I went to the bar and I got a martini. What the hell else was I supposed to do, I LOST  goddamn EVERYTHING?! There was a hole in my heart. And it was bleeding. So I wrote… #1 now i must write. today i think i lost my work, my life my story. my external drive showed up empty. my brain is very full. the words i wrote, can not be gone. i must remember what is lost. _______________ #2 where what now here me loud my story goes untold a life worth living a legend will unfold _________________ #3 life lost. a legend burried deep within the walls four of them that hold my life a broken link holds it togehter a photo in my mind it is all remembered. __________________ Later that day, I decided to take all the cords apart (there were two to connect it to my PC, it was 2006) and put them back together. It turned back on. I didn’t  lose anything. The end. Lessons learned: 1) Make sure you back up. 2) Drama inspires creativity.  3) I might be rtrd. 🙂

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Writing

what do you love? ♥

what do you love? ♥

I love discovering new things. Last month Google rolled out www.wdyl.com and I just found out about it from Techcrunch. It’s hard to keep up on all the Google gossip! With all the talk about Google+ lately, I see how it slipped by most peoples radar. I checked it out last night & found an interesting discovery… Here we go: Went to the site, searched something I love (uh, myself! You would search yourself too right?). Found a few things, including explore “casie stewart” in 3D with Google Sketchup. You can create anything 3D there, haven’t tried it yet.  Youtube channel and gmail came up along with searches in blogs, photos, and books. Books? I recognize that book. That’s my book. I wrote when I was 14 with Holly Heiblinger, it’s called JEANS. Published Canadian Author, oh yeah. I’ve never seen it online. I mean, I never reallllllly looked but there she is right in Google Books and the library archives. I was mega involved with writing and my community at that age. Our book is categorized in Canadian poetry (English) 20th century, Literary Collections / Canadian, Children’s Literature & Teenagers’ writings, Canadian (English). It’s no longer in print so don’t try to order one! I’ve only got a couple draft copies. Reckon Mum might have some in the basement. I used to write heaps. Well, I still write lots but more diary than poetry. One say I will escape to a far away place and get all the notes from the notebooks into digital form. Maybe with my new computer? Omg, I ‘m getting a new computer today. Downloaded a poetry magnet app for iPad called Verses Poetry. I like to play on/with words. Need to get more words unlocked though, running slim on options. Spent lots of time with Andy (my iPad) this weekend. Maybe deep down I…

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Writing

The thing that really is blowing my mind is… #japan

The thing that really is blowing my mind is… #japan

I closed my blinds last night and got to thinking about Japan. In bed with iPad & Android, I looked outside, the lake was calm.  I said goodnight to Twitter. I don’t usually do that, I often leave like an irish goodbye. I said goodbye because I love my friends and in the back of my head I know that so many people in Japan woke up Friday morning and never got a chance to say goodbye. They woke up to their houses and lives right fucked up. I can only imagine that happening. There is no word to explain how is makes me feel when I watch those videos over and over. It’s like a movie but it’s not a movie, its real. The world trade centre, that was real. We all remember that day. I remember lots of other stuff in my life but that WTC stands out as something totally monumental, like Japan. I will never get any of these images out of my head. The water rushing over the city, the planes crashing into the buildings. Yes, one distaster was man made and one natural but to me, they are the biggest I’ve ever seen. The thing that really is blowing my mind is the severity, scale and consequences of it all. How the hell do you fix a first world nation that’s been shaken, stirred and radiated? Japan was pretty much run through the dishwasher. There’s going to be a massive ripple affect on society from this. Japan is home to vehicles and electronics that WE love. It is the third largest national economy in the world after US and China in GDP & purchasing power parity (aka PPP if you forgot). I read on Bloomberg.com that Cannon, Sony, Panasonic, Toyota, Honda, Sapporo have all suspended production. I…

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Writing

Stories are gifts.

Stories are gifts.

How long have you been reading stories? Forever. How many stories do you read a day? Where do you read them? How long are they? Who is in them? What are they doing? What are you doing when you read them? What are you reading? Why are you reading it? How does the story make you feel? What do you think about them? Where are you when you read it? Think about it. Read more.

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Writing

thereis a certain calming peace when it’s this foggy

thereis a certain calming peace when it’s this foggy

Restless Its a thin line that divides the ocean and the sky. A thin line which divides you and I. A small space. Without a trace, feelings vanish before my eyes. People leave to go back home and I am left here all alone. Resting by the ocean and taking in the sky. The waves are restless and so am I. Written:2004 Posted: May 22, 2006 Found these old pix as I was traveling through a time warp in MSN hotmail land from 2005-2006. I had really dark hair for a season here and there. I lived in New York and Indiana. I dated a hockey player. Seems so weird and long ago that life. It’s crazy how much we change as time goes by. I’ve been through so many different stages and likes, habits and hobbies. When I really think about it like now it’s quite amazing. I’m really excited for the future. Who knows what I will get up to, my wildest dreams I guess.  I’m happy to get wiser as I get older too, make better decisions that way. Have a great day 🙂

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Writing

break. it down. give thanks. rest. love it. smile.

break. it down. give thanks. rest. love it. smile.

“Be careful what you wish for” Mum said to me today as I was chatting her about what I’m up to. She called via Skype from the boat on the East Coast of Canada. Been a couple days since we last taked. Before she went on her sailing trip we used to chat almost daily. I would fill her on on what I’m up to. She inspires me, always has. I miss her.  Everything I’m doing r I always wanteight now… the parties, the makeup the hair the clothes. It’s all new to me.  I always wanted to be doing this stuff. Mum says luck is where preperation meets opportunity. I feel grateful. I’ve worked my ass off the last few years. I arrived in Toronto five years ago post uni in Australia. Back then, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do. I just did it. I believed in myself and I worked hard at whatever it was I was doing. When I was younger I used to say I wanted to be really well known for being good at something, I wasn’t sure what it was yet.  Maybe I still don’t? Either way, I have always been determined. When I really want to do something there is little to no stopping me. Mum will for SURE tell you that. I want to interview her one day so you can meet her.  She’s not been able to read my blog much from the boat, she usually reads it daily to see what I’m up to. She said it makes her happy. It makes me happy too. I love looking back on what I was doing previous years, same time.  Makes me dream big about what I might be doing next year. Quite looking forward to the long  flight…

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Writing

When I was in grade school…

When I was in grade school…

When I was in grade school I was part of a skipping team for the Heart & Stroke Foundation. We went around to schools like yours and did crazy tricks like doing a cartweheel in to a double dutch with chinese ropes. We practiced often and had heaps of tricks. We were called the Preston Pump-Ups. We had one routien called 12th Street Rag and the melody got faster and faster and you had to speed up your steps. If you lasted till the end, you were good. I could do it pretty well. I really loved skipping. (photo via laurencephilomene)

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LIFE

Judge me by the content of my character.

Judge me by the content of my character.

The content. The character. The me. The judge. Judge of content. Character, the judge. The judge of character. The character of content. Content my judge. Of me, my character. * wordplay eye see rad people.

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