don’t over stay your welcome

Borrowed from my myspace blog and written in 2004. I had a bad house guest and was kinda bothered by it… Thank you so much for coming. Let me take your coat. Would you like a drink? You’re welcome and yes thank you so much for coming. Chat away. Smile, nod, agree, nod. Yes. No. Of course. Now, are you hungry, should I make something? Another drink? You’re welcome. Would you rather I take you out? Feed you. Bathe you. Tuck you in, in my warm little bed, and rock you baby, right to fucking sleep. The sun rises yet you are not awake. You want coffee? You want breakfast? You want, and need, and need more wanting. Oh, yes it is lunch. Are you hungry now? Do you need something from me? I want a fucking break. You need too much attention for my short attention span. Do you need to need me to do things all the time or can you do it your fucking self? Can you just go back home to your own house ? You have overstayed your welcome. Yes. You’re welcome. Now go and make yourself a nice fucking day.

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the sweet taste of kerosene

I was connecting to the lyrics this morning and fighting a wave of sadness.  Coffee, double latte. The office was freezing as I took off my sweater to cover my legs under my desk.  ‘Be productive and you’ll get distracted’ I told myself.  I listened to my blip station, starting on the second page after the Michael Jackson. Wasn’t in the mood for him today, started with Pretty Young Thing but it didn’t work like it usually does. ‘Get on your bike and ride around at lunch’, I tell myself, ‘that always works’.  It did.  I ran into a friend who joined me for a sit and chat in the park before I headed out on a  Liberty Village tour. It was lovely. My hair‘s not pink anymore, it has a peach slice in it now. I got peanut butter cookie mix and Cheerios. I hate buying groceries. I never know what to get and I always think I don’t like anything, but I do. I love cooking but hate groceries. I like to make things up with whats around the house. Creative cooking.  Had a creative weekend, enjoying the flow that comes with a new sketchbook. Came up with a good idea at lunch today. Ran into Golly on my way back. We met last year and I wrote a cover story about him in an arts  & business magazine. He’s a positive soul, cheered me right up. I’m really looking forward to the TV lineup tonight.  It’s one of those days I’m glad I have cable. Just got a call to go with Karrera and L.B. to John Butler Trio. So excited, must be my lucky day. It was sold out and I was sad I had no ticket. Love you friends. You’re the best. in the dark of…

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my name is casie and i’m a twitaholic

Twits Mag Canada is an online magazine dedicated to all Canadians on Twitter and they just did a story on ME. You can read it here: Me and Twitter: Casie Stewart – The Twitaholic.  Don’t be shy to leave comments on their site or mine. Have a great day! “She blogs, she blogs and blogs and… she works full time. She’s busy, that’s what she says, but she’s still got a lot of energy and would be bored if she wasn’t doing stuff all the time.”

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there’s nothing worse than being ordinary

I’m watching American Beauty…for the second time today. I love this movie. It’s creepy and yet I find the story so captivating that when it came on again, I didn’t change the channel. It’s brilliant. I have two favorite parts beside the girls dance with the roses and the music.  I like when Angela says “OMG, you like totally love him, you wanna have like a million of his babies”. Later, Jane says  “Well, I guess I’m not a very nice girl than am I”, I like that part.  Had the sketch book out. Drew a unique interpretation of the creepy video camera guys room. The room with all the videos and the white walls.  He’s weird and I like him. Cooked up some chicken soup from scratch yesterday. You’d be proud Mum, turned out great. It was spinning in this photo.  I love cooking and baking.  Haven’t been in the kitchen much lately, should do something about that really. Now & Then just came on, reminds me of grade 8 and Lisa Baker. Stunningly beautiful video of Niagara Falls in motion, all time lapse photos. Very cool.

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hey there batman, haven’t seen you around

I have no attention span sometimes. At home on computer listening to TV and barely watching.  I get on the computer and am Tweeting away to people then I click on a link and get distracted. I see I got  email.  The movie was over 30 minutes ago. I’m thirsty and I get some water then reach for the fridge. I open the door and close it again before walking over to the balcony with my water.  Checks phone.  Emails and a missed phone call and a text from Twitter. Look at the TV, what show  is this?  Step outside. Go back to computer and remember what I was doing. I keep cleaning up this external drive so I can fit all the new photos on it. Got lots done…check Facebook  for a break. Clicks on a  link and reads something then reaches for the water glass and then the phone. A couple years ago Jenie and I decided to have a photoshoot at the Keg Mansion while we were there. Found these tonight. We were both darker and longer in the hair. I think I should grow my hair now that its so short. I love this Batman shirt, it’s thermal-like and really soft. I hope  she as it still.

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raining cats and blogs

I love it. The thunder in the sky. The energy that lights up the dark clouds when lightning strikes. The pounding of rain drops on windows of cars as they drive on the wet pavement. I jump every time it rattles the windows and I screech a little with excitement. I enjoy the rush, it scares me a little but I like it. I’m reminded of being in Florida last month. We were at a late night pool party and the air was damp with humidity as it had been hot all day. There was a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder.  It felt like only a second before the rain poured down. It was warm and wet and felt soft on my skin. I was in my bathing suit but  I wanted to be free. I removed it and tossed it into a pile. There in the hot Florida night I danced naked in the rain.  Arms over my hear to the beats of the music. I was free at last.

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add some spice to your life already

Girls were working out in the park.  They start in a circle then change formation to watch the teacher. I stopped to have a sit in the grass and relax.Needed to  cool down from the hot heat on the bike ride. Was tired on the bike today, really warm out today. Humid. Sat down for a cold refreshing one on the bench and felt calm.  Gonna get a new style today.The stuff is in my hair is hot and it feels like I’m in direct afternoon sunlight on a hot summer day.  It kinda burns a bit but it’s good.  I’m starting to get excited for Pride. I get talking about past times and all the girls start calling and we make plans.  OMG its so fun.  I love. Its hot, burning right now a bit. I love coming here. I was so crazy with a mind a racin’ that I wasn’t relaxed. Now I’m relaxed. Beautiful outside right now, lovely. I looked at your picture but it wasn’t you it was an inposter of you circa something. I laughed. Facebook on phone means double notifications and major annoyance. Don’t like it. Do like getting my hair done. The colour is setting in.  Its gonna be bright. I’m  gonna freak out at first like I always do then love it. It’s going to be perfect for the weekend. I love it.

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crazy going slowly am i

Sometimes I just can’t seem to relax. My mind races with a hundred thousand thoughts at a time and I lose my concentration and have no focus. I think there’s a good chance it might have to do with how much time I spend on the Internet soaking up information. My daily intake of news, facts, and randomness is very high. I constantly multitask and when I’m not on the Internet I have blackberry that receives three different emails, Blackberry Messenger and has wireless access.  I’m addicted to information. I’m very creative. My mind never stops. I think back to learning about entrepreneurs and how the really successful ones work their asses off.  That’s what you gotta do to get anywhere. I’ve been so busy lately and but not just going-places-busy, thoughts-process-busy. It’s really good and I like it but sometimes it gives me knots in my stomach and I feel like I’m going to puke. That’s how I felt this morning. I got up extra early so I could get to the office and check some things off my list before everyone else got in. The ride in was nice and my bike makes me feel free. I managed to get a bit ahead but I’ve still got a full day staring me in the face. Lunch meeting, after work meeting, concert, opening party, then finally bed. It’s days like this I sing the song from Sharon Lois and Bram and think it’s OK, you’re gonna be OK. It’s just another day.

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in this department

I’m feeling restless and I want to go to the beach. The sun is shining bright and I’m a little bit hungry. I went for a walk because I was so restless and sat on the artsy project bench and didn’t have anyone to talk to but myself. I could still hear something and I’m sure it’s my thoughts. They were racing around about all kinds of things that are real and not real and happening around me and inside my wild and vivid imagination. I walked into a spider web and it graced my face. No spiders thankfully. I want to lay in the grass and stretch my arms out really wide and feel the sun on my face. I want to relax. I want to write. I will do that this weekend. I hope it’s sunny. I really should check the weather network and download the app for Blackberry. A guy from the office sent and email in at 6 am today saying he quit. His team wasn’t really happy but there is part of me that admires him for leaving his desk clean and Blackberry in the top drawer last night before heading home. I sent him an email and it bounced back. Kinda funny, well, to me. Oh god I’m hungry now. Do you know my friend Elsa Cohen? She’s coming to visit from NYC soon.

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and when it does i want to run away

this papers not as good for drawing its better for writing in pen i like when the pencil scratches the paper its thinner than the other paper and i like that one better because you can do more with different things and make it more colourful and full of life i don’t like to write on the back of the paper and i like when the words fill up the spaces of the flat piece of paper either and when words the same end up together it makes me smile and i like it the reporter is always writing and chasing stories i would rather be chased than chase the lives and run in circles around my own thoughts and how i feel about the lives of other people i like to report my own stories its new and always news its always new and always news but it gives me anxiety sometimes * from my moleskine

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