the silent figure in whiteface as an artform

i woke up to the sun in my face and sabrina’s alarm going off repeatedly. i was so tired. yelled ‘turn it off’. i’ve done it too with the alarm beside my head and she had to come shut it off. deep sleep sometimes. put on my sleep mask and took in a few more hours. my body aches. sobey’s, every time i go there are people i run into. it was pouring down sheets of rain. wore my new wellies and a yellow jacket, perfect rain gear. keep telling myself to clean my room. i suck at it. tomato soup and toast for lunch, one of my favorites. clear your room. dying to watch annie hall for some reason. eagle tattoo is gone now. i’ve decided i like mimes.

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even when it rains, it shines

they weren’t just a pair of  boots to me. they became part of my life, i loved them.  i would wear them all the time and when they were gone things just never seemed the same. i though about them and everytime the weather said rain i missed them a little more. i don’t know where they went but i got a replacement to fill the empty space on my feet when it rains. the forecast is calling rain for a week i say let the rain shine. white wellies.

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thoughts from my walk today by: casie stewart

i forgot my damn umbrella. you have a bunch of brolly’s at home, idiot. i want sunnies, mum and pat are enjoying my hand-me-downs. i wonder when jack will realize who mary jane is. he’s so stupid.  rain all bloody weekend. where did summer go? know him, don’t make eye contact. nice pants, loser. getting aggravated by everyone. do i want a coffee? i got a jerk sandwich and thought of you. urgh, why do you have a nose ring dude? you’re not pulling it off very well for your over 30 age. why is everyone staring at me for fucks sake? am i naked? i like wearing hats. that orphan movie should be called there’s something about esther. freaky. kinda want one of those cheesy michael jackson shirts in china town. it’s so smelly and sick around here. if you wanna do something to stop eating, just go to china town. sick. thinking about the kitchens makes my stomach turn.  nice dress, bad shoes. you’re an idiot. they’re gonna turn, you’ll get hit if you cross right now. i wonder what that company does? i forgot i have a huge eagle tattoo on my back. get batteries. get me…

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some times i don’t feel like it

I walked around for about an hour thinking about my life. I was having realizations and I felt like a crazy person. It was as if I was in a fog. I was having anxiety. Sometimes I freak out. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the internet anymore. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about stuff and sometimes I forget things.  I started freaking about my last minute trip to a foreign country. Panicked. Instant attack. I left the store. I walked down the street back in my own fog again.  I’m nervous about going but then think not going would be silly too. For a bunch of different reasons.  It’s a chance to relax and go some place  cool with bunch of cool old friends. Relax. I’m packing one bag;  one nice outfiit, one dress, one piece bathing suit, one yoga mat. This is the relax retreat. A true mini vacation/airport tour. Vanilla as some may say. I know when I come back Sunday I’ll have had lots of time with self.  I love traveling; airport, airplane, people, waiting, watching, thinking, moving.  I love being in motion.

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you gotta take the time to think and breathe a bit

i took a little walk this afternoon past the place we met. it reminded me of you. i remember you saying ‘even if the coffee wasn’t so good i’d still come for the music’. the music is always good. you told your friend ‘i’m gonna go talk to that girl’. i’m glad you did. i’ve been feeling very positive and inspired despite drinking both nights this week. i managed to get to bed at a decent hour. taking a b50 complex every day helps too. sleeping with a sleep mask over my eyes keeps the sun out in the mornings. thanks Ellen for that one. i hear that people get inspired by things i do and how i look at life. i’ve learned that more this week than ever. i actually heard it from  a few people and it brightens my day to know i brought sunshine to someone elses.  i look at each day with an open mind and i see beauty in little things that people miss when they are busy, stressed, focused etcetera. i like how ‘etcetera’ looks when typed. there is a small shop in cambridge called etcetera and my second mum used to often get…

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i like polka dots and argyle…and tartan too

Recently I was named on the TO’s Top Bloggers. Woot! Notable TV was there last time we all hung out and they have now posted the video introducing the crew. You can check it out on Notable TV here. There’s a bunch of cool kids in there. Mum ‘s in the city with my fairy god mother her BFF. Got a doc appt and meeting them shortly. Excited to see them. Mum always brings us clothes and sometimes shoes.

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i find that haaaaaaaad to BAH-leeeve

hee we gow I’m between the clouds. I’m 34,000 feet  tall. Floating, flying, soaring. The sun is setting in the sky. Sitting right here, the power went off before we left and my heart dropped as I fought my own panic button. The lights didn’t even turn on. Why is there no wi-fi on this thing? I’m 130 miles from Washington, that’s twenty minutes.  I’m much further than that from home. I might be even further than that if I don’t make this connecting flight. I’ll have to spend the night in Washington in hotel all by myself and miss a day of work.  I missed my flight last time and I’m sure my boss would think I planned it. I watched some really cool documentary snippets. * Looked it up It was This American Life, Season Two, Episode 3 about Going Down in History. The kids in school talked about their lives and things then sat there to take one cheezy photo for the yearbook. That photo, the same pose they do every year represented nothing about what their life was really like at that very moment.  I liked it. It was one of those shows that was fast…

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