Found this in an alley near my house the other day. I would be kinda annoyed if this was my wall but I also like the message.
This is a little reminder that you can do anything you want. Just go, get up off the couch and DO IT. Want to start a blog? Make one. Be an enrtepreneur? Do something every day to bring you closer to your goal. There is nothing standing in your way other than your own self-doubt, fear, or anxiety. Not having time or money is not an excuse. Face whatever is holding you back, head on, and make a change.
There’s no point wasting your time and energy doing something you don’t want to do. Life is short and every day you should do something that makes you happy.
I originally drew this back in 2009. It was around the time I quit a job I didn’t want to do anymore. I wasn’t allowed to do use social media at work since it wasn’t part of my job (they blocked Twitter & Facebook!). I’d removed time stamps from my blog as to hide when things were posted. I quit that job to do social at Much/MTV and have never looked back.
Since then, if I find myself in a situaion where I don’t want to do whatever it is, I quit. I find a way to get out of it or change it into something I do actually want to do.
Make the most of each day. You’ll never be younger than you are right now. 😊
It’s crazy and mind opening to go back into my life diary and see things I made and not really remember creating them. Imagine 10 years from now, scrolling back to read the diary you started today?
There’s a lot of benefits as you may know, to keeping a journal (here’s 10). I started mine, mostly to keep more memories and it has totally worked. Writing this blog has helped my memory, writing, self-discipline, and it’s pretty good therapy (for the record!).
In the last 12 years I’ve grown from a wild post-uni 20-something to an adult doing real things. Still kinda wild tho! I had no idea what this (journal) would turn into when I started, or back in 2009 when I took this photo and wrote words on it. I’m really glad I didn’t give up all those times I thought about it.
Randomly found the 2009 photo below while searching (for something else) in my blog yesterday. I’ve taken so many photos and written a ton of things, sometimes I actually inspire myself!
I guess what I’m saying is, anything is possible and you can find
a lot of inspiration in your own archives.
This past week was a hard one for me. Actually, this entire month has been a challenge, I’ve been on the verge of a meltdown since May 2017 started with birthday anxiety. I had a trip to Jamaica that started with an allergic reaction in my eyes, where I couldn’t see that well, it rained heaps, I missed my bf, and I got my period. When I got home I was overwhelmed with anxiety about work I needed to get done, and it was a short week. I went to the 1188 office every day to get the music video I directed wrapped up, and didn’t really have time to work (at home like usual) on blog things. The week finished week with a full day on set. I was so tired.
Finally, on Saturday, it happened. I legit had a meltdown. Our car had a problem with the tire so I rented a car for the afternoon with my car sharing app and left around 11:15 to make it to Scarborough by 12:15. Well, no, that wasn’t happening. It took me 45 min to get to the DVP (highway downtown for non-TO peeps) and by then I was feeling super stressed after leaving the house in a huff w/ Sean. Then mum called and it opened the floodgates to me balling my eyes out, stuck in traffic. It seemed like everything around me was collapsing. Then, it started raining and the event I was about to drive an hour to was canceled. BUT, I was already on the DVP and still in traffic. I took a few deep breaths and decided to get off the highway. Didn’t really know where I was heading but the end goal was home.
I decided to put on the Lumineers album and for the next 30 minutes, drove past Yorkdale, down the Allen to Eglington, singing and crying loudly in the car. (I laugh about it now but at the time I was really feeling at a loss and wondering what to do with my life.)
I don’t have those days very often but they happen. I get anxiety about all kinds of things and get down and into a dark place every now and then. It’s hard to manage sometimes and those days I find it really hard to be an ‘internet person’. I really do feel like I need to look into managing my anxiety a lot better. I know that there are people going through a similar situation, where the use of drugs such as Benzodiazepine is a massive help. But there are situations where trying to get off this drug on your own may cause benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms. These are the sorts of things that put me off taking medication, but I guess it may be worth a try if I want to help me feel less anxious all the time. Plus, if I find this isn’t for me, there are always many other methods I could try. There are some days where I don’t feel like sharing or putting on a smile, pretending everything is ok. I’ve been doing a lot of research into ways that I can manage these symptoms effectively. There is a lot to take in, but until I came across sites that spoke about hemp remedies, I realised that all the time I was spending was definitely worth it, especially if I wanted to improve my mental health. My sister told me about the best rated CBD brands and I might try CBD out. No matter what you are going through, your health should be your top priority.
I’ve written 10+ posts over the years titled ‘Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It‘ when I don’t want to blog anymore. Writing through it helps me deal. I like going back to read them when I get in a mood and it helps me know it’s ok to feel that way and I’ll be ok.
I’ve wanted to quit a bunch of times and each time, when I push through whatever it is I’m feeling, and don’t give up, something good happens.
After I finally got home from my 2.5 hour tour of the city, I rode my bike over to yoga for a popup Sandy was hosting. It was the turning point. I had a mini massage, brows done, tarot card reading, wrote some postcards, and got a beautiful bouquet w/ pink & yellow peonies to bring home.
We left for the cottage shortly after. The next day, I spent a good chunk of time outside doing yard work w/ Sean, enjoying the sunshine, making food, and laughing together. It was the reset I needed.
Today I felt totally renewed and open to anything that came my way. I’ve found that if I don’t have time to rest my mind, body, and thoughts, I can’t even deal with anything. I also really enjoy my alone time. It helps me recharge.
This isn’t a sponsored thing, I was inspired because Wear Your Label is about ending the stigma around mental illness and May is Meltal Health Month. Honestly, it’s pretty easy to act all smiley for Instagram or whatever but I’m a real human with feelings and the world only sees my life when the sun is out. Sean sometimes says I use all my sunshine up on the internet and he gets the salty version of me. (I’m sorry babe!)
So, here’s an official invite from me to you. The event is at Wednesday 6-8:30pm at Joe Fresh on Queen/Portland and hosted by Wear Your Label. You get 25% off regular priced stuff and one of the exclusive collab hats w/ purchase (see above, all the feels). 50% of the sales will be donated to the Canadian Mental Heath Association in support of mental health in Canada.
I’d love to hug some new and/or familiar faces and share some sunshine with you. The FB event is here.
Most of all, I want to remind you that if you have anxiety or you feel like you can’t even deal anymore or deal one day, remember that it will pass. And it WILL get better. Mum says that’s when you probably need to go and take a nap (and she is usually right!)
I remind myself all the time, the hardest part is THROUGH but YOU CAN DO IT. And you will. And you will be awesome at it.
P.S. It’s also totally ok to drive around loud cry singing to yourself. It actually felt pretty good. This is the song where the title comes from/one I was singing to.
Don't give up on yourself, you're stronger than that.
Had a great morning yoga session today. Feeling energized and have a jam packed day ahead. Saturday I’m going to Jamaica for a week. It’s the first time in years I’m going on a vacation-vacation that isn’t work. YAY!
I’m travelling with @Lovesey as his guest and we’re gonna have SO MUCH FUN. We did Route 66 last year with Arizona Tourism then went hiking Sedona together. It was magical. Really looking forward to hot sun, beaches, and the food! 🇯🇲
Posted the image below in my IG Story the other day and wanted to share here. Got a message from someone after posting who said it was just what they needed at the time. She mentioned theres a few people around her always shouting about their ‘success’, and I reminded her that’s often a sign they’re not really as successful as they seem. Actions speak louder than words and if you have success, it shows.
I’ve always thought it’s better to talk about things you’ve done rather than going off about things you plan to do. Talk is cheap, baby. I love sharing my work and life but you usually don’t know about something until it’s happened!
Work hard. stay humble. The race is long and in the end it’s only with yourself.
The last couple weeks have been kinda crazy for me, not just normal life and ‘blog stuff’ but I went out of my comfort zone and did a totally new work thing. I’ll share more on that but the point is, I learned a lot in the process, new skills, and things about myself. At the beginning of the project I was really excited, then I got discouraged, followed by a wave of inspiration and creativity, then a breakdown. I thought about quitting, then got excited again, had some stress, and well you get the point. It wasn’t easy but I made it through.
Sean was seriously so incredibly awesome dealing with me and encouraging me the whole time. He continued to remind me you have to work hard to get to the next level but it’s worth it. He says ‘You can do anything you put your mind to if you do the f&%king work.” I know I said this other day but, if you think about it, IT IS SO DAMN TRUE.
You really CAN do anything, if you REALLY want to. You have to hustle you do something every single day to get closer to that goal. You can do anything!
Yesterday I turned 35 (where did the time go right?!) and I had a really great day. I was thrilled to spend the day doing exactly what I want, with a clear head knowing I’m continuously evolving.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen this video but you should watch it. Sean showed it to me years ago and I go back and watch it to remind me why I do things, the struggle, the joy. I watch it for inspiration and to clear my head. It’s a reminder live each day on your own terms. To do what you want. To go confidently in the direction of your dreams and not let anything stand your damn way!
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”
I found this photo in a box of tax receipts and it gave me such a warm feeling. I’m pretty sure mum has this costume still hanging up in a closet at home. When I was about 9 my jazz class did a competition number to the Inspector Gadget song and to this day I still remember some of it.
I spent heaps of time at the dance studio as a kid. I started ballet around 3 and a half, had my first recital at 5, and spent a few years competing. I went all over Ontario, NY, and the National American Dance Championships in South Carolina a couple times.
First ballet Recital, 5 years Old, Fluffy Cloud
I distinctly remember times ballet was hard. Sometimes I hated it. I’d be crying after class, begging mum to let me quit. But she never did.And thank god for that.
Although it was tough, dance taught me so much.
It taught me hold my head high when I walk, how to enter a room, how to be on stage. I learned to not give up.
I’m so thankful for the decade I spent dancing as kid. For my teacher Miss Lisa at Meyerhofer Academy in Cambridge. I’m grateful for mum who taught me to persevere through all the tough times. Also thankful for all the late nights, mum sat at the kitchen table making ballet skirts for the studio to pay for it.
As I get older ,I appreciate more and more the hard work I put in when I was younger. This week Emily and I signed up for Tae Kwon Do. It’s her first go and my first time back in 20 years. [Side note: WHERE DID THE TIME GO, HOW AM I THAT OLD?]
TDK is another thing I spent a few years doing that taught me so much. I have my green belt, won an Ontario trophy for 3rd in sparring, and once broke a guys jaw with a roundhouse kick.
Before signing up this week I inquired about it twice over the last year and I’m glad I finally did it. Even after all these years, the five tenants of Tae Kwon Do have never left my memory.
I’ve been working hard at yoga the last couple months and I feel so much stronger in my muscles and my mind. I’m not sure if I’ve lost many lbs but I’ve for sure made some muscle and lost some of that muffin ’round the middle.
This post is a reminder: Don’t give up. When something is hard you have to push through to get to the next level. It’s like playing a really hard video game, and working hard to beat The Boss, and make it to the next level.
When you get there, it’s always worth it. And you can do it again.
This week felt like a long one and it’s finally Thursday. As Keri would say, “Best night of the week!”.Tonight I’m heading to my BFFs house out of the city and tomorrow we rented a sweet hotel room in a random Ontario town, not too far, for a well deserved girls getaway.
Sometimes when I look back at my story of the day, on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook, my short term memory forgets things even happen. This was the case a few times this week. I started the week slow, was super tired, and had a sore shoulder from an awkward sleep on Sunday.
Wednesday seems like a blur. Did yoga at 7:30 then drove home, picked up Emily and took her to school. Shawn Hawaii came over for quick head shot shoot around 9am and by 10:30, Sean and I we were heading to 1188. The rest of the day was non-stop and by 9:30pm I was finally ready to sit down and do things on my computer.
I am SOOOOO looking forward to a 2 night getaway with my BFF and a s-l-o-w pace. I love what I do but life is exhausting and I’ve had to teach myself to take breaks. Also, I can’t wait till we open the cottage and my regular weekend escape from the city is back in action. Cottage life, baby!
Here’s to the balance of hustling hard then taking time chill!
There is no sponsor today but I found the inspiration for my title from this (Brainy) quote.
The last couple weeks I’ve been on a journey of making my self happy, practising what I preach, making the most of each day, and following things that give me joy. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, it has made a big difference. The last couple months of 2016 I was totally drained, didn’t feel creative, felt a bit lost like ‘what am I doing and why‘.
So, I made a change. I started putting myself first
and really doing WHAT I WANT.
It’s easy to get side tracked from your goals, over worked, under stimulated. The thing is, you can totally turn that around any singe day, at any time. You’re in control of your happiness. You’re the director of the movie that is your life. You always have a choice.
2009 BLOG POST
Years ago (2008-09) when I wanted people to remember me and my blog I made these little stickers on white Avery labels after work (at an IT company). I didn’t have $$ for real stickers, so I had to be creative.
While most people will take your business card and never follow up, this is not the case with stickers. I found that people would go to my blog the day after a fun party where I stuck my sticker on them, their sweater, conference badge, and leave a comment, or tweet me it was nice to meet.
The first round of ACTUAL real stickers I made were from StickerYou when a friend worked there. They were heart shaped photos of me with a painting in the background and my Twitter handle.
This month I was invited to create a Mantra Box of stickers to keep me motivated. WELL, I went and ordered a whole bunch.So many that I ended up spending more than the gift code they sent!
Over the last week I’ve mailed out a bunch of hand written letters to long time blog followers, old and new friends, with pieces from my Mantra Box. I already knew the quality of stickers and I can say I am so impressed with this batch. I really love them.
The price point is affordable, here’s a screenshot from part of my order. I’m surprised how many stickers I got. I also ordered clear stickers of my signature (for windows/everything) and signature tattoos. Yay!
Years ago I was on a tv show called ‘Maxed Out’ and I told the host I wanted to be a brand and partner with other brands, and essentially be ‘paid to party’. She told me ‘You can’t do that, you’re not paris Hilton, you don’t come from money’. At the end of the show I launched casiestewart.com with a landing page that said ‘COMING SOON’. And the rest is history…
I LOVE this video and Casey Neistat is my fav person on the internet with the same name as me for sure. If you were looking for some motivation, here it is. I’m so proud to be a creator, I’ve been building the internet for over 10 years, and I’m not stopping anytime soon. Here’s to making more things and making a difference.
‘The haters and doubters are drinking champagne on the top deck of the titanic AND WE ARE THE FUCKING ICEBERG’
WHO DOES THIS B THINK SHE IS?
P.S. This latest video from Gunnarolla has me laughing my head off. He is a very funny and talented friend. If you aren’t following him yet I recommend you do because LOL. Enjoy!
Went for my first yoga class in a while today. I feel so good. Found a studio that’s a 7min walk and beside a great coffee shop. I also downloaded a countdown app for my next trip (California!) and set a countdown till the New Year. There’s 21 days till 2017 and since it’s been such a sh*t year for heaps of reasons, I’m gonna try and make the last bit really great.
IF NOT NOW, WHEN?
In case you’re just tuning in, I had breast reduction surgery this summer and have been a bit slow getting back to it. The recovery was not too long/hard but big stretches with arms over the head were not in my favour. I did some aerial yoga about 3 months after but not full on yoga-yoga.
Today was the day.
Registered for a noon class at YOGA YOGA and set out to make it a good one.
A couple weeks months ago I picked out some great yoga gear from the new Gaiam website as a gift from the brand.THANK YOU! Today I opened all the packages and put on new stuff for class. WOO HOO.
YOGA YOGA is a vinyasa yoga studio in the Junction Triangle super close to my house. Had it not been a snow storm I’d totally have been there in 2mins via bike.
Felt good to stretch. The class was warm and it was nice to see a familiar face in our teacher Sandy Braz (owner). Namaste, girl!
One of the items from Gaiam was this non-stick yoga towel (turquoise) for extra grip. I didn’t use it today, but the thing I like about it is you can pack it for travel and use instead of a mat. As you can tell it’s pretty new… 😊
The yoga carrying bag (black) is great. You can also wear backpack style. Has a small zipper to easily fit a wallet and keys. For $15 makes a great gift for the yogi in your life! [see here]
Wore my entire Gaiam outfit and the bra is definitely my new fav thing. It doesn’t move and holds your bits all in one place. This is the FIRST yoga class since surgery and I’ve not been able to wear just 1 bra to a fitness class in a VERY LONG time. It felt so good.
Luxe Yoga Pant – These are pretty thick as they’re ‘compression’ fabric. Great leggings for around town but a bit hot for hot yoga. I was sweating A LOT.
Iris Layering Bra – This is the best sports bra I’ve had ever. It’s also good for running! Had worn this before today.
Clover top – Love the back details on this top (below). Will be so nice for spring/summer.
Feeling pretty good over all that I went for a workout. I also set intentions for the week and did some meal prep/baking.
Other things I’m really feeling right now:
Signed up for ebates and bought a pair of glasses at eyebuydirect.com. Wasn’t sure about it but then I got back $2.39 on my $30 purchase. Ebates also gave me a 20% discount code.
Still loving AmazonPrime and made a whole list of things to order for the 3rd floor bedroom reno. You can use ebates there too!
Beach Body 21-Day – I saw my friends from Instigator Communications were reppin’ this workout so I asked for a copy. It arrived JUST in time for 21 days till New Year.
Photo Studio is A+ – had my sister over for a photos shoot and I can make headshot magic at home anytime now. I’m so impressed with this ring light (Amazon obvs haha).
CALIFORNIA – In January I’m spending a few days in vegas then a week in California. I can’t WAIT. On my own schedule this time to checking a few things off my bucket list!
This weekend I joined the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation & KitchenAid Canada in their campaign to help raise awareness + donations. 🍩🍩🍳🍳🍜🍜🍔🍔🍭🍭 Since 2002 Kitchenaid has raised OVER $3.9 MILLION for the CBCF.
I nominate you to bake/make a great set of foods and share them on the internet. Here’s a little behind the scenes of styling my photo. My new ring light is so amazing. It’s doesn’t come with a stand but Sean had one at the office.