Day 105: A Fear of Impending Doom
I took a selfie and didn’t realize how dark the sky had gotten. Sean is inside Canadian Tire while I wait in the car. We’re meeting someone at McDonald’s in 20 min to buy some lights for the cottage. I’ve felt anxious for days. I’m tired. Yesterday I napped for almost four hours, today I napped for one. I hardly ever take naps, I guess my body is exhausted? It’s Pride today and it’s gone online like everything these days. Last year we were in the parade with Telus. A couple of years ago we were on the Netflix float with the cast of Orange is The New Black. I’m finding it hard to locate happiness, I have to actually put down my phone and look for it outside in the world. The phone is full of things that stress me out. I watched CP24 today and there is a lot of gun violence, riots, fighting, sickness, and death. It’s hard to handle. I’m grateful I saw my family on Friday. It makes me smile just thinking about hugging and laughing together in the sun. Jen Kirsch published an article in The Star that pretty much summed up how I’m feeling. Been thinking about how she mentioned the anxiety we feel with this pandemic, the risk, the guilt, sadness, regret. Going out, seeing people, did we say/do the right thing? I feel some guilt that after about 80 days of blogging, I’m behind on 10 days. But then again, that’s pretty amazing I blogged that much at all! Can’t feel guilty, gotta let it go, it’s ok. The sky cleared up a bit and the sun is out. Sean is walking to the car and we have 7 min to meet the guy. Everything is gonna be ok.
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