Seeing so many school photos today made it feel like back to school. The craziest thing for me is seeing friends who have kids that are the age they were when I met them. It’s so weird/cool I guess? Gah, how old am I, I still feel young! Still learning new things all the time, excited about life. This week is an exciting one with all kinds of new experiences and people. Today I am going to the TIFF Stylist Box and then attending Toronto Fashion Week for a show. It all kind of gives me anxiety but this year I’m trying harder than last to prepare, plan accordingly, and not stay out too late. Today felt kind of like back to school because I saw hundreds of kids! Mostly on FB but we also went to Em’s first day, which is exciting. One of my friends said that she has to listen to songs for children on the way to school with her kids in the car. They love listening to these songs because they’re educational, and most of their friends listen to them as well. School has changed a lot, there were no videos like that for us to listen to when we were younger! Now that I think back to actually being in school, I really liked it. I mean, I still left all my projects to the last minute and dragged on doing homework but it was great! School teaches you so many things you don’t learn in class. Problem-solving, giving and taking constructive feedback, working in teams, being a leader, creating. Sometimes I see myself teaching, although that would be kinda like going back to school. But then I think about those who can’t, teach’ and I’m like no way. Maybe just a couple classes…

I started this post in the spring and it’s been sitting in drafts for a while. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. I love writing and blogging but sometimes I really don’t feel like sharing my life online. It’s the social media that stresses me out.  I daydream and think about people who just go to work and don’t have Facebook, they walk in a crowd listening to music never thinking about sharing it or seeing someone from Instagram. They don’t have to pretend they didn’t see that person they’re friends with on Facebook, passing them on the street.  I don’t remember what that’s like. I know I created this, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming sometimes. The world of social media and the internet have blown the F UP. Everyone and their dog has a blog or Instagram now. It’s almost impossible to avoid. I try though. I spend heaps of time up at the cottage, in the wilderness, I’ve been taking more breaks, but then I get anxiety because I haven’t posted. If you’re having a bad day or not feeling well, social media can be the worst, endless scrolling of perfect lives and happy faces.  And even though you know it’s not all ‘really’ like that all the time, it can get to you. Last week when I was sick I felt like garbage on the outside and social media was not helping, I started feeling like garbage on the inside, about myself. This weekend I shaved my head and cut off all the blonde. At first, I felt liberated and free, riding my bike home from the barber after yoga, sun on my face. Then, I kinda panicked like omg what have I done. I also decided I really don’t like my natural mousey hair…

What a difference a week and some sunshine can make! MY GOD. Also, thank you to all who read and commented on my post about anxiety. We all go through hard days and I want you to know I feel it too. I’m a human just like you! Loving the weather this week. Have spent a good chunk of time at the house writing and getting things done. I’ve also been biking everyday and done some yoga. Feels so good!   On Tuesday Keri (@keriblog) and I gave our home patio a HUGE makeover. I loaded up on plants at the Walmart sale and picked up a few cushions, lights, etc. They’re so nice! I’m in love with the new look and feel. Thank the sun gods for LESS RAIN, FINALLY.  This ‘Double Rose‘ shirt is my new fav I picked up last weekend at the Skinny Sweats pop up (Toronto designer!). I love it so much. I’m inspired to make similar ones with my face on the tatas and some emojis, haha. Yesterday Lauren (@laurenonizzle) and I went to the afternoon Blue Jays game and rode around on our bikes after. We both have Schwinn cruisers from Canadian Tire so we are SCHWINN TWINS. SCHWINNING. SKWADGOALZ A post shared by Lauren O’Neil (@laurenonizzle) on May 31, 2017 at 1:47pm PDT Have some really fun and exciting work coming up the next couple months and I’m excited to share with you. It feels so incredibly cool to be doing work I love. Tonight dad is coming over to shoot a project for Father’s Day. Sending sunshine your way!