These photos were taken last year on Family Day. Michelle and I went on a big walk and decided to stop into Allan Gardens to feel the warm air and smell the flowers. We both kinda forgot it was Family Day it it was busier than usual, filled with families, couples, and the same idea.

I was looking back on old photos and it really made me miss going places and doing things. Going on a walk with your BFF, stopping into planty places, grabbing a cocktail, shopping. Y’know, the things we used to do.

Finding this third wave of the lockdown much harder than before. I have less energy than I’ve ever had in my life. My temper is short, my emotions are high, and I’m not nearly as active as before the panny. Winter is always a hard time but without the normal things we used to do to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder, it’s so much heavier.

I guess the other thing making it hard it we really have no idea how long this will last. I’m really looking forward to spring, the snow melting, patios opening, and being able to hang out in the park. Even if we have to wear masks for another 365 days, at least we won’t be in a Stay At Home Order.

Sending you love, we’ll get through this. Only a few weeks until spring. ☀️

I’m at home today and Sean is at the cottage with Emily. He sent me the most special surprise…

We had a lovely Valentine’s dinner on Thursday night and shared gifts then watched some Netflix. He got me a rose bush plant instead of flowers and as a plant mama, it was the perfect present!

I don’t share too much about Sean here but he is so wonderful! We first met over in 2009 and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh every single day and supports me in everything I do. I’m so grateful for him in my life.

SEAN, ILYSM!

Today I woke up determined to leave the cottage, take a package to the post office, and go to town. I hadn’t left the cottage in 5 days and tbh, I was starting to get cabin fever. It’s lovely being in the woods but there’s part of me that loves seeing people and doing things. Even something as simple as going to the grocery or Dollerama feels like an event these days.

After cleaning off the car for 20min in the freezing cold, I got in the truck to leave the driveway. It did not go as planned. I got stuck in the snow and was frustrated. I came back inside, threw off my coat and had a bit of a meltdown. I thought I left my phone in the car so had to go back outside. I took a few deep breaths and decided to give it another go with the truck. I took a good look at the snow, planned the route, and made it. I’m glad I pushed through it! I drove to town in the sun, singing along to the radio. It felt so good!

When I got back to the cottage I went for a walk with a neighbour on the road. It was our first time meeting and we had a nice distance walk through the woods. It was such a beautiful day and we turned to face the sun, feeling its warm embrace on our faces.

Lesson of the day, sometimes you just have to push through it to find the sun.

Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year.

I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard.

Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Sending love from the woods.