add some spice to your life already

Girls were working out in the park.  They start in a circle then change formation to watch the teacher. I stopped to have a sit in the grass and relax.Needed to  cool down from the hot heat on the bike ride. Was tired on the bike today, really warm out today. Humid. Sat down for a cold refreshing one on the bench and felt calm.  Gonna get a new style today.The stuff is in my hair is hot and it feels like I’m in direct afternoon sunlight on a hot summer day.  It kinda burns a bit but it’s good.  I’m starting to get excited for Pride. I get talking about past times and all the girls start calling and we make plans.  OMG its so fun.  I love. Its hot, burning right now a bit. I love coming here. I was so crazy with a mind a racin’ that I wasn’t relaxed. Now I’m relaxed. Beautiful outside right now, lovely. I looked at your picture but it wasn’t you it was an inposter of you circa something. I laughed. Facebook on phone means double notifications and major annoyance. Don’t like it. Do like getting my hair done. The colour is setting in.  Its gonna be bright. I’m  gonna freak out at first like I always do then love it. It’s going to be perfect for the weekend. I love it.

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crazy going slowly am i

Sometimes I just can’t seem to relax. My mind races with a hundred thousand thoughts at a time and I lose my concentration and have no focus. I think there’s a good chance it might have to do with how much time I spend on the Internet soaking up information. My daily intake of news, facts, and randomness is very high. I constantly multitask and when I’m not on the Internet I have blackberry that receives three different emails, Blackberry Messenger and has wireless access.  I’m addicted to information. I’m very creative. My mind never stops. I think back to learning about entrepreneurs and how the really successful ones work their asses off.  That’s what you gotta do to get anywhere. I’ve been so busy lately and but not just going-places-busy, thoughts-process-busy. It’s really good and I like it but sometimes it gives me knots in my stomach and I feel like I’m going to puke. That’s how I felt this morning. I got up extra early so I could get to the office and check some things off my list before everyone else got in. The ride in was nice and my bike makes me feel free. I managed to get a bit ahead but I’ve still got a full day staring me in the face. Lunch meeting, after work meeting, concert, opening party, then finally bed. It’s days like this I sing the song from Sharon Lois and Bram and think it’s OK, you’re gonna be OK. It’s just another day.

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in this department

I’m feeling restless and I want to go to the beach. The sun is shining bright and I’m a little bit hungry. I went for a walk because I was so restless and sat on the artsy project bench and didn’t have anyone to talk to but myself. I could still hear something and I’m sure it’s my thoughts. They were racing around about all kinds of things that are real and not real and happening around me and inside my wild and vivid imagination. I walked into a spider web and it graced my face. No spiders thankfully. I want to lay in the grass and stretch my arms out really wide and feel the sun on my face. I want to relax. I want to write. I will do that this weekend. I hope it’s sunny. I really should check the weather network and download the app for Blackberry. A guy from the office sent and email in at 6 am today saying he quit. His team wasn’t really happy but there is part of me that admires him for leaving his desk clean and Blackberry in the top drawer last night before heading home. I sent him an email and it bounced back. Kinda funny, well, to me. Oh god I’m hungry now. Do you know my friend Elsa Cohen? She’s coming to visit from NYC soon.

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and when it does i want to run away

this papers not as good for drawing its better for writing in pen i like when the pencil scratches the paper its thinner than the other paper and i like that one better because you can do more with different things and make it more colourful and full of life i don’t like to write on the back of the paper and i like when the words fill up the spaces of the flat piece of paper either and when words the same end up together it makes me smile and i like it the reporter is always writing and chasing stories i would rather be chased than chase the lives and run in circles around my own thoughts and how i feel about the lives of other people i like to report my own stories its new and always news its always new and always news but it gives me anxiety sometimes * from my moleskine

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the pencil flows on paper twill

Every time I get a new one I feel lucky. It’s like someone opened up world of opportunity and said, ‘Go Casie, you can have anything you want.  If you imagine it, you can have it right here in this fine little book‘. It’s a space wherre I have a conversations with my self and our thoughts. I let them out and they turn into things. I had met with a reporter yesterday which inspired me to pick up the reporter style this time.  I reckon that being left handed I can flip it around nicely to not get pencil lead on my hand as I so often do. I write in pencil mostly.  I remember a poem I wrote ages ago with a line saying how I like the way ‘the pencil flows on paper twill’. I love looking at the notebooks of other people, there is so much creativity contained in these legendary little things. I bought my last one in March and it was nearly full when I lost the little guy.  It was with my laptop and computer and  funny enough, the thing I miss most is the notebook. True story.

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he just jumped, i couldn’t save him

Earlier this week I wrote about the many relationships I’ve had with hardware, computers that is. The track record of breakage expands further than computers, it includes phones and cameras too. I can’t even begin to think about all the units I’ve been though over the last few years. I look forward to getting to work now that I’ve got a new desktop that stays there. It’s safe from the wreckage that I cause every time a laptop touches my fingers.  As I was leaving for the office this morning, I noticed the balcony door open and casually grabbed for the screen door to avoid any bugs coming inside.  There’s lots up high in condo-life. I attempted to close the door when my blackberry jumped out of my hand.  He must have wanted to go. I tried to stop him, but there was no way. He was full of spite and skid across the concrete heading straight for the edge.  I screamed as if I was being pushed to the very edge myself.  It was loud and full of fear.  I tried to say ‘don’t do it’ but he jumped, he just jumped.  He went right off the edge as if he was at Taupo doing a bungy. Thought flushed my mind thinking, what have I done, what have I not done to make you want  to end it all? I watched the whole thing happen. I saw him falling over 20 stories to what became a very tragic death. I scurried to the elevator, it seemed to be taking a lifetime. I could not get to the ground fast enough. I saw a resident walk past him, his parts were scattered across the pavement.  I wiped a tear and said  ‘WHAT AM I GOING TO WITHOUT YOU?” in an…

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