some times i don’t feel like it

I walked around for about an hour thinking about my life. I was having realizations and I felt like a crazy person. It was as if I was in a fog. I was having anxiety. Sometimes I freak out. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the internet anymore. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about stuff and sometimes I forget things.  I started freaking about my last minute trip to a foreign country. Panicked. Instant attack. I left the store. I walked down the street back in my own fog again.  I’m nervous about going but then think not going would be silly too. For a bunch of different reasons.  It’s a chance to relax and go some place  cool with bunch of cool old friends. Relax. I’m packing one bag;  one nice outfiit, one dress, one piece bathing suit, one yoga mat. This is the relax retreat. A true mini vacation/airport tour. Vanilla as some may say. I know when I come back Sunday I’ll have had lots of time with self.  I love traveling; airport, airplane, people, waiting, watching, thinking, moving.  I love being in motion.

View Post

you gotta take the time to think and breathe a bit

i took a little walk this afternoon past the place we met. it reminded me of you. i remember you saying ‘even if the coffee wasn’t so good i’d still come for the music’. the music is always good. you told your friend ‘i’m gonna go talk to that girl’. i’m glad you did. i’ve been feeling very positive and inspired despite drinking both nights this week. i managed to get to bed at a decent hour. taking a b50 complex every day helps too. sleeping with a sleep mask over my eyes keeps the sun out in the mornings. thanks Ellen for that one. i hear that people get inspired by things i do and how i look at life. i’ve learned that more this week than ever. i actually heard it from  a few people and it brightens my day to know i brought sunshine to someone elses.  i look at each day with an open mind and i see beauty in little things that people miss when they are busy, stressed, focused etcetera. i like how ‘etcetera’ looks when typed. there is a small shop in cambridge called etcetera and my second mum used to often get…

View Post

i like polka dots and argyle…and tartan too

Recently I was named on the TO’s Top Bloggers. Woot! Notable TV was there last time we all hung out and they have now posted the video introducing the crew. You can check it out on Notable TV here. There’s a bunch of cool kids in there. Mum ‘s in the city with my fairy god mother her BFF. Got a doc appt and meeting them shortly. Excited to see them. Mum always brings us clothes and sometimes shoes.

View Post

i find that haaaaaaaad to BAH-leeeve

hee we gow I’m between the clouds. I’m 34,000 feet  tall. Floating, flying, soaring. The sun is setting in the sky. Sitting right here, the power went off before we left and my heart dropped as I fought my own panic button. The lights didn’t even turn on. Why is there no wi-fi on this thing? I’m 130 miles from Washington, that’s twenty minutes.  I’m much further than that from home. I might be even further than that if I don’t make this connecting flight. I’ll have to spend the night in Washington in hotel all by myself and miss a day of work.  I missed my flight last time and I’m sure my boss would think I planned it. I watched some really cool documentary snippets. * Looked it up It was This American Life, Season Two, Episode 3 about Going Down in History. The kids in school talked about their lives and things then sat there to take one cheezy photo for the yearbook. That photo, the same pose they do every year represented nothing about what their life was really like at that very moment.  I liked it. It was one of those shows that was fast…

View Post