Being a Kiwi, as great as it is, I enjoyed that VICE featured NZ in their global trend report. However, with all the focus on cities around the world, they managed to put NZ, the COUNTRY, not a city such as Auckland or Wellington, or hell, Palmy either!! Here’s what they said: “It’s slightly disappointing that no one in this majestic land actually looks like Frodo or Xena. Yes, that is all most of us know about New Zealand. Oh, and Flight of the Conchords, which isn’t the funniest thing ever, but it’s a little bit funny once in awhile. Eagle Vs. Shark was pretty good too—like Napoleon Dynamite but with cute accents and kind of sadder. What other good movies were made in New Zealand? Oh yeah, Heavenly Creatures. That’s an old fave. So anyway, instead of mythical creatures and lesbian schoolgirls, what we have here is a bunch of young cool kids being cool in their cool clothes that, we are slowly coming to realize, are the same cool clothes as everywhere else in the world. Globalization blah blah blah. Nevertheless, New Zealanders look like a pretty good time. It’s like new rave never stretched its poisonous tentacles all the way over there or something. NZ girls are good at mix ’n’ match. High-end designer pieces (Yohji Yamamoto Y’s, Zambesi) are carefully thrown together with more “street” items and bits of vintage. (MY FAV!) A simple black-and-white outfit accented with a Chanel purse plus arm tattoos plus pink hair with long bangs plus Docs equals “Let’s do this.” And wait, is that a tattoo of the Little Mermaid on her arm? OK, fine, let’s fucking do this. Everything is black-and-white, and color only occurs in the context of a perfect plaid shirt, which is harder to find than…

Last week while visiting New Zealand metropolis Palmerston North city, Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement of Flight of The Conchords were exposed to radiation from an explosion at a power generating wind farm leaving them with super powers. McKenzie found that after exposure to the radiation he was able to send text messages with his mind and Clement reported that he was a bit stronger than usual and could lift about three or four more shopping bags than he usually could. But really full ones though. Effects wore off after ten minutes but during that time McKenzie managed to text his mate Dave “HPPY BRTHDY DAV. I M SNDNG THIS USNG MND”.

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssheeeep. ok, i’m from new zealand.i love sheep.yes, i have sheep farmers in my family.but honestly, i don’t know any sheep fuckers.the joke is OVER now.