Wake up at 6 am reach for water forgetting the pain and feel a sharp knife in my back. Take in medicine, deep breath, exhale. I lay down slowly as not to get that knife again and fall back to sleep. Wake up reach for water, the knife strikes again, twice. I take twice as long to get ready. Slowly put on underwear with out falling, I dress in comfy clothes. Dust off the running shoes and the knife strikes as the cat scurries by. I ignore the pain and I and I tie them up. Reminder to eat something before medicine and get change for street car. Off the bike for a while.  Everything is taking longer, taking longer. I wait for the streetcar, preying for a seat. Every bump or stop on the ride is amplified to me right now. Standing would be torture. I see a girl with a backpack, strangely I wish I could wear a backpack. I’d look like a highschooler in these Lulu’s and flower hoodie.  Cute boy briskly passes me on the sidewalk; I’m almost at medium pace. No head  turns. I want an iphone badly. Riding public transit is good for writing. Each car is full of stories waiting to be told.  I look like I’m aggressively texting non stop about something important. I am, my thoughts are important. The pain medicine sinks in as I swivel in my desk chair. Brief red carpet outing last night…