nyctophobia (fear of night)

Hold back the night For I fear the darkness Take control and keep me safe Hold back the night For I cannot live without the light Upon my face Hold back the night For my love will leave me When the dark night approaches published may 22, 2006

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the ABC’s of anger

This poem was originally published in 2006 here and is written by me. I was playing with my thesaurus at the time,  finding words for anger. I was listening to Rilo Kiley and myspacing hard. I spent countless nights teaching myself HTML, formatting websites,  writing content.  I love being able to go back in time and see what I was up to and what I was writing. I realize things about myself that I forgot. ________________________________ ABC’s of Anger You could say I am annoyed, antagonized & aggravated. You remind me of that bitter taste of coffee in my mouth, With you I am displeased. Almost enraged I am, exacerbated & exasperated, I find myself furious, fierce, & ferociously fuming. Hardly hateful just heated with a hot head I am ill tempered. You make me impassionate, insensitive, I feel inflamed, increasingly infuriated, & irate. Intensely irritated. I am maddened. Your words make me offended & outraged. You provoke me into a raging, resentful sad Satan. Watch for spitefulness coming your way. I am airline turbulence, making passengers uptight. Vicious & vexed like a bad villain. I am wired & worked up with wrath. I have no zest or zeal. This is a zero-sum game. _______________________________ %$%$#FU*C*&%#$K off.

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feeling young and restless

i’m having one of those days. i’ve got heaps to do.  it’s getting done but for some reason i’m just outta my head. i keep thinking, stop it, get back to work, don’t let your mind wonder, wander. i wish the sun would com out. it’s cold in here and i’ve not taken my jacket off all day. i even dressed cute today. sigh. i keep reminding myself how fun it’s gonna be tonight watching the hills with a bunch of friends at MTV.  i always wanted to be able to do  this. in my last post i was so excited and now i feel all weird.  i said something stupid last night to a friend after a couple drinks and i think that’s what is getting me.  sometimes we say things, it happens. the other day i got so upset over  something that was  not even necessary. i like to think i’m a simple girl but i’m complex and  my mind is like a labyrinth sometimes. i go back and read things tagged writing and i feel some what at ease. it must be the creativity, left hand, wild imagination sometimes gets the best of me. i’m nervous and excited most the time, i love this feeling but sometimes it leaves me feeling open and vulnerable and i get scared.  take my own advice, build  a bridge and get over it. the other thing is that when you do things online all the time it’s all out there for everyone to see, they can see you, you can see them, the world is somewhat translucent. you can see, but you can’t always see through. this helps, writing it out. i got  new analytics ,the other day. google, i love you but your site stats were just not cutting it…

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with your feet in the air and your head on the ground

up early feeling great. doing work today. blogs. magazine. facebook. twitter. doesn’t feel like work. could do it all day. i do. you’re doing it. just want you wanted to. i’m proud of you. realization motivation reach for the sky its not as far as you think

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flock of eagles

It really does not matter what you have, what you had, want, or what you own. You are whoever you want to be. How you perceive yourself has the biggest impact on how others perceive you, this is my belief and something I live. It was my dear mum that ingrained in me, “just because you don’t have money, doesn’t mean you can’t compete, you just have to be more creative”. Luckily for myself, I’ve always been rich in that department. The book in this post is one that I really, truly love and admire. It is written by Paul Arden one of the world’s top advertising guys who comes from a great career with Saatchi & Saatchi. This is not merely a ‘book‘, this is a bible for the creative, those driven to succeed who couldn’t even ever imagine what it’s like to ‘think inside the box‘. It has taught me tools to succeed in the world, to dream the unimaginable, to break the rules, and make my own path, leaving trails for others to follow. This book is about stretching the mind and thinking about where you want to be in the world. Do you want to be well known? The best in your field? Your country? Best in the world? Or best in the universe? You decide. I know where I want to be. Posted on September 26, 2008 Can’t Fly with the Eagles if You’re with the Seaguls – Mum

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believe in your self, dedication and discipline

This article was in the Toronto Metro yesterday & written by Rea McNamara. If you click on it you can read it  easier (Mum/Dad/friends).  I’ve worked really hard the last couple years on this whole social media thing. SO MANY late nights at home alone  with my computer, fiddling around with blog posts, learning HTML, installing/fixing wordpress plugins, editing photos and more. I’ve got over 21,000 tweets for christs sake, that’s a big time investment right there. Building a brand online takes work,  it takes work every single day whether you are building it for personal or business use. You just gotta stick at it. One of the best things I learned from my Mum is “just because you don’t have money, doesn’t mean you can’t compete, it just means you have to be more creative“. Creativity & determination don’t cost anything, yet they have gotten me further than anything else.  All the social media sites I use are FREE. I use them often and yes, it takes up lots of my time but THAT has been my investment. It’s also how I got one of the coolest jobs ever. Thank you for the feedback & positive comments. I love hearing from you. Got some great messages from people lately that inspire me to stick at it when sometimes I don’t feel like internetting. April 27th is my blog’s birthday and I think it deserves a party.

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it’s like a time machine that connects all the time

i can’t write today, something’s wrong. i can’t smile today, life is a sad song. my heart hurts… so does my foot in my shoe. today is a sad day, without you. I wrote this poem when I was 14 many moons ago. It was published in an anthology called Jeans, I was co-author. I love picking up our book and reading things I wrote back then. Amazes me how they’re relevant and somehow connected to this future version of me.  I never really thought about putting out a second edition but today I did.  There is nothing stopping me but myself. I love writing and have written heaps and heaps of poems, hundreds in fact. I don’t know or really care if anyone even buys the book. I wanna write it (put it together)  to show myself  I can.  I know I can.  I can.

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a day when you dont feel like internetting

sitting in bed, watching jeopardy, comfy. wrapped in your hoodie,  it feels nice around my shoulders, big and warm. one of those days when you feel up and down and anxiety, happiness sad… it has nothing to do with being a girl,  or that you’re stupid, it’s just becasue you are human and there are lots of outside forces coming at you. some things you control, some you don’t. you work with computers and the internet and it moves so fast that some days you just arent at top speed. even though you try, you try but you fail.  then you hasgtag it as #fail and somehow that makes you feel better, so do the @replies from your friends. i dont have a phone so i sit and talk to my computer because my blog always listens. it never talks back and it keeps your secrets you don’t share but want to.  it listens and without even saying anything and often is more helpful than a friend. it’s a place you just let it out and then after, you feel better.  a blog is a best friend you find within yourself, and it’s cheaper than therapy. sometimes i don’t feel like internetting, but that usually means i’m just tired.

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a blog is an engine: by casie

A blog is an engine and behind that blog is a person. There, in that very chair,  sits a  person with bounds of creativity. The type of creativity that you can not ever imagine because it is unimaginable to your mind. It creates.  By the time you are reading this the engine has worked twice as fast,  faster.  The engine is moved by some type of driver and the engine has many tools. It employs services to work as engines in order to make it grow. The production must try to keep up with the mind yet the creativity, it DOES NOT STOP.  It flows and drives and moves and the more it makes the more it has for it is infinite.

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A blog is a best friend you find within yourself.

I’ve been thinking, about making changes.  I’m always making changes. I wanna wear high heels again. I wanna change my blog. I wanna change my hair, just a little. I used to write stories to myself about what I was thinking more often. Really helps me sort out my thoughts, like therapy.  A blog is a best friend you find withing yourself who is always there to listen and look at your pretty pictures.   I’ve been falling in love with Tumblr lately. Thinking about cheating on WordPress. I’ve recently had my hands all over the BB Storm  from Telus and I’m liking the touchscreen. It moves when you press it like a keyboard, it’s a good photographer and it’s kinda heavy which I like.  I’m spending today home alone and it ‘s great to be not hungover. Instead of GYM, TANNING, LAUNDRY today I’m COUCH, ICE CREAM, MOVIE and it feels so good.

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