some times i don’t feel like it

I walked around for about an hour thinking about my life. I was having realizations and I felt like a crazy person. It was as if I was in a fog. I was having anxiety. Sometimes I freak out. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the internet anymore. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about stuff and sometimes I forget things.  I started freaking about my last minute trip to a foreign country. Panicked. Instant attack. I left the store. I walked down the street back in my own fog again.  I’m nervous about going but then think not going would be silly too. For a bunch of different reasons.  It’s a chance to relax and go some place  cool with bunch of cool old friends. Relax. I’m packing one bag;  one nice outfiit, one dress, one piece bathing suit, one yoga mat. This is the relax retreat. A true mini vacation/airport tour. Vanilla as some may say. I know when I come back Sunday I’ll have had lots of time with self.  I love traveling; airport, airplane, people, waiting, watching, thinking, moving.  I love being in motion.

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The Hardest Part is Through

This past week was a hard one for me. Actually, this entire month has been a challenge, I’ve been on the verge of a meltdown since May 2017 started with birthday anxiety. I had a trip to Jamaica that started with an allergic reaction in my eyes, where I couldn’t see that well, it rained heaps, I missed my bf, and I got my period. When I got home I was overwhelmed with anxiety about work I needed to get done, and it was a short week. I went to the 1188 office every day to get the music video I directed wrapped up, and didn’t really have time to work (at home like usual) on blog things. The week finished week with a full day on set. I was so tired. Finally, on Saturday, it happened. I legit had a meltdown. Our car had a problem with the tire so I rented a car for the afternoon with my car sharing app and left around 11:15 to make it to Scarborough by 12:15. Well, no, that wasn’t happening. It took me 45 min to get to the DVP (highway downtown for non-TO peeps) and by then I was feeling super stressed after leaving the house in a huff w/ Sean. Then mum called and it opened the floodgates to me balling my eyes out, stuck in traffic. It seemed like everything around me was collapsing. Then, it started raining and the event I was about to drive an hour to was canceled. BUT, I was already on the DVP and still in traffic. I took a few deep breaths and decided to get off the highway. Didn’t really know where I was heading but the end goal was home. I decided to put on the Lumineers album and for…

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This is My Life | Why Does Monday Suck Though?

‘Mondays are fine, you hate your job’ Years ago I worked as a tech recruiter in the financial district. We had a team meeting each morning at 8am. Thus meaning I would leave the house each day at 7:30am, dressed in a business type suit, with my briefcase style bag, Lenovo Thinkpad computer (it was 2008), and head down to Bay Street.  Around the 1-year mark on a Monday just before lunch, my boss pulled me into his office and said ‘Case, what’s wrong, you don’t seem your happy self?’ It was true. I wasn’t feeling it.  I didn’t want to do this job anymore.  I thought about quitting but I didn’t have much money and being lay off and getting two weeks would be much better. So, I toughed it out and kept going in for those early mornings. At this point, since my boss brought it up, I came out and said ‘I don’t wanna work here anymore’. He told me he knew and it was ok. we talked it out and I cleaned out my desk after lunch. They gave me 2 weeks pay and I never looked back. If you have going into work on Monday morning, BE THE CHANGE. Do something about it. There are heaps of new jobs in new industries being created each and every single day. or, if you’re not ready to leave your job, spend the weekend working on your hobby so you’ve got something exciting to think about. Work to make THAT your job. I work pretty much every single day, often less on weekends but sometimes more! Doing something I love means it doesn’t always feel like work. I mean sometimes I don’t feel like it but most the time I do. We only live once so don’t spent weeks, months, years doing…

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Tech | Download Your Classic MySpace Blog

I’m finally getting around to seriously book writing like I’ve been talking about for 10 years. Found a blog post from 2005 where I said I was writing a book [insert crying emoji]. April marks 10 years of blogging on my own blog platform. I rediscovered my old MySpace blogs today now that you can finally download them. MySpace had originally deleted ALL blogs without warning. Downloaded a heap of posts and went through all the HTML files renaming them. It felt good. Unfortunately I’ve lost my first, first ever blog from MicrosoftSpaces back in 2004 (they stopped helping users recover them in 2012). How To Download Your Classic MySpace Blog: Dig up that old login you haven’t used in ages and login to MySpace Go to to settings Click Account On the left you’ll see an option to migrate old photos to a new album and download old blogs Download. Took about 60 seconds to download my 100 posts in a .zip file Fall in love with your elf again OR have heaps of laughs at your MySpace selfies   One of the things I learned today was I haven’t changed that much. Well, I have but some things are still the same. I’m really inspired my going back over my old stuff and incredibly thankful that I didn’t give up and stop writing even though sometimes I really didn’t feel like blogging anymore.  See 10 posts titled ‘Sometimes I don’t feel like it‘ here. Recovered these old quizzes I shared back in 2006 from MySpace. Hahahaha Buzzfeed, you’re just stealing old ideas! Still love the Olsen Twins, still style twinning Nicole Richie, and still love summer. I remember reading this quote in high school and thought, I will write things worth reading and do things worth writing about, watch me! And that was after I’d already written…

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Lifestyle Trends This Week – June 2, 2012

I publish a lot of things on the Internet. I’ve been told is it’s hard to keep up with’. To me it is art. I have an obsessive compulsive obsession to make/build art/things/memories. Documentation is addicting. I’ve had days without Internet, I start scratching, yelling, freaking out, no just kidding, I do get antsy around 4pm. It happens more in weekends, sometimes I don’t feel like it then I miss it. My favorite social media sites right now are Instagram, Pinterest, Viddy and I use Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare to share them. This is what happened this week. Yellow and red were hot colours on my Instagram and Pinterest A Viddy I posted of a wizard guy with a fushingi ball was on the ‘whats’s hot page’. I used to go CRAZY using 12seconds.tv years ago, similar thing but not as awesome. Viddy is like Instagram for videos! It has filters, music, and a 15 second time clock. My profile is viddy/casiestewart. It’s intrgrated with Facebook timeline if you have’t noticed. I really love the DIY projects from Honestly WTF. I pinned this gorgeous Louis Vuitton studded collar from the 2012 Cruise Collection and a couple weeks ago I (started) one just like it. Mine’s not ready to come out yet. Weather is gloomy. About to do some work around the house and vaguely movies, currently on something about British school girls in boarding school on Cosmo. The sun came out for a few seconds, captured its soul. If you are still in the dark ages with an old phone you can browse any user’s Instaphotos in Statigram. Barbie made brekky. Beauty! Get off the couch or become the couch, do what you want! Bon weekend! 🙂

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you missed this yesterday

Shoulder icing. # Saturday brunch reco? I know some of you are experts on this! # iPhone 5 Could Be Revealed September #rumor http://on.mash.to/nN6o9l # I like it. RT @mashable: Twitter Adds Subtle New Feature – http://on.mash.to/p4QwAD # Photojojo Lens Shot Glass set, so cool! http://t.co/UVlVI37 # Fresh croissants! (@ Sobey’s) http://4sq.com/mUU0RF # Conference call. # RE: You did an awesome job! http://disq.us/2zsfzz # Hipster girls, shake yo a$$ http://t.co/yno5dLM # At what point will you feel you’ve accomplished something? When I’m dead & my funeral is selling seats. (@kreayshawn) http://t.co/sDydtbM # next time you are IN @raymitheminx http://t.co/ebSbQnv # yep @Zelartworks @TheEllenShow I got mad dance skills. http://t.co/Uxj7Kks # I’m dating Waldo. (@YouTube http://youtu.be/wu_35x_ilb4?a) # I know. I will. RT @flashpunk You should do more videos # Photoset: › Dita von Teese’s wedding dress was custom designed by Vivienne Westwood, made from seventeen… http://tumblr.com/xmj41x4dzt # michelleforan: http://t.co/iE8QAto # RE: @laurenonizzle yeah duder, dinner was so damn good. We had mega VIP. You would have loved it. Amex for the win! http://t.co/C1TUu9L # Shot by @KellyKruschel in Liberty Village, 2009. http://t.co/13vEjwE # Everest? http://t.co/Kg7TOpq or Lita? http://t.co/UTRXSoJ @jgrdnr @bettykissstyle? # BaBaBa BaBaBa BaBaBa! via @DJKidTronic (@YouTube http://youtu.be/wOMe-8Tf1Y0?a) # RE: @thinkcontra Love that girl. We just did a shoot for PinkMafia yo https://casiestewart.com/kreayshawn-photoshoot-f… http://disq.us/2zupxh # hashtag overhaul for Stella party tomorrow. get’er done #stellarparty http://twitpic.com/64y3ix # The difference between first & third world problems News.com.au http://t.co/dJOYJqk #firstworldproblems # this song is so lovely. someone awesome fall for me please. (@YouTube http://youtu.be/TWx5OX9Vqgk?a) # #LOVE http://disq.us/2zv0af # TIFF info & Fall Previews get me so excited. Dear Life, ILU. xoxo CASIE # New meme FTW! RT @GosiaAntkowski Move over owling & planking, “horsemaning” new trend : people posing as if beheaded http://t.co/y0SRyiy # me too babe! RT @kristenannehill Working on my happy dance. #goodthings…

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