some times i don’t feel like it

I walked around for about an hour thinking about my life. I was having realizations and I felt like a crazy person. It was as if I was in a fog. I was having anxiety. Sometimes I freak out. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the internet anymore. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about stuff and sometimes I forget things.  I started freaking about my last minute trip to a foreign country. Panicked. Instant attack. I left the store. I walked down the street back in my own fog again.  I’m nervous about going but then think not going would be silly too. For a bunch of different reasons.  It’s a chance to relax and go some place  cool with bunch of cool old friends. Relax. I’m packing one bag;  one nice outfiit, one dress, one piece bathing suit, one yoga mat. This is the relax retreat. A true mini vacation/airport tour. Vanilla as some may say. I know when I come back Sunday I’ll have had lots of time with self.  I love traveling; airport, airplane, people, waiting, watching, thinking, moving.  I love being in motion.

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i am made of light i am made of stars

A couple years ago Mum gave me the a book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Migue l Ruiz. It makes me feel less anxiety when I carry it around. It’s one of those you keep in your purse and when someone says something or does something to make you feel not as awesome as you should, I reach for it and read it over a couple times. I refuse to lend it out because I’d hate to not get it back. That always happens with book lending. The Four Agreements are great when you want to be inspired or motivated to keep a positive attitude. My favorite line is in the beginning and it’s the title of this post. The Four Agreements Be Impeccable With Your Word Don’t Take Anything Personally Don’t Make Assumptions Always Do Your Best

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yeah, i’m totally an expert

Today I Mastermind in MaRS… Social Mastermind brings together a diverse mentor network of social media strategists, marketing specialists, advertising gurus, and public relations experts (ME) to help put together the foundations of a viable and impactful campaign. Read more here.

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and when it does i want to run away

this papers not as good for drawing its better for writing in pen i like when the pencil scratches the paper its thinner than the other paper and i like that one better because you can do more with different things and make it more colourful and full of life i don’t like to write on the back of the paper and i like when the words fill up the spaces of the flat piece of paper either and when words the same end up together it makes me smile and i like it the reporter is always writing and chasing stories i would rather be chased than chase the lives and run in circles around my own thoughts and how i feel about the lives of other people i like to report my own stories its new and always news its always new and always news but it gives me anxiety sometimes * from my moleskine

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eagle preparing to fly

Before I fly I always get a little bit of anxiety. I’ve always been with someone when I’ve flown and this time I was meeting friends in Florida and flew by myself.  To make sure I was ready I put on my chain with a star and eagle feather. I added a Tiki that Dad brought me back from NZ to the chin before I left too. I’ve been working on a project called Flock of Eagles and the eagle feather makes me feel strong. I also put on bracelets from Mum that traveled all the way from New Zealand.  That way I had a little bit of family with me. I also made sure I got tanned up and toned up my muscles. The flight was smooth and I arrived to the hot sun in just over 3 hours. More posts coming soon about trip etc.

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