CASIE STEWART

THIS IS MY LIFE • BLOG EST. 2005
LIFE DEAR DIARY

New Year New You!? Same Me!

I mean new me kinda because you’re like,  you’re always changing. Right? Maybe you’re looking to make some changes in your life this year and there is no time like RIGHT NOW. Tomorrow you’ll wish you started today.

I really want to get fit this year. I’ve been home a couple days and made yoga + hit the gym. I feel good. I’m not sure when or IF jet lag is going to kick in but I’m ready for it. Update: I feel it today. I don’t have heaps planned this week in an effort to maintain self-care and get a fresh start on 2018.

Just came from the gym don’t mine me.

When I go to the gym I don’t stay for a super long time but I’m proud of myself every single time I go. I’ve had gym anxiety my whole life, until now. I hated going up until I had my breast reduction last summer. It took a while to be emotionally ready to workout, but last summer I signed up for my first every gym membership. YAY ME. Before the operation, I hardly ever worked out and when I did never wore anything with cleavage to avoid getting unwanted attention. I used to wear 3 sports bras to keep those bad boys still if I wanted to run. I was always fully covered in t-shirts for yoga and tank tops were out of the question.

For years, I had a hard time getting dressed in the morning or for events. It gave me anxiety. Sean used to be like ‘are you ready yet?‘ and there were so many times I was upstairs in tears or not wanting to go anywhere. I would try on a million things and nothing would fit those big boobies and don’t even get me started on working out.

This year I’m excited to work out and I want to run outside. Run free and far, with the freedom of only wearing one bra and not worrying about my boobs the whole time. So here’s to starting something new and making 2018 a great year of positive transformation. I’m all here for it!

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BLOG AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND

Tramping in New Zealand

Tramping in New Zealand

OK, I know what you are thinking and I THOUGHT THE SAME THING.

When I arrived in NZ we picked up the rental car at the airport. Next, we pulled into a parking lot at the airport to change into summer clothes. I took a few laps of the airport to get used to right-hand drive and being on the other side of the road. I was fine.  I drove us down to the Viaduct in Auckland to look at the boats. [Mum is really into sailing and has a boat, sailed from Ontario to the Bahamas and lived there for a year.]

We went into a sailing shop and I saw this mug…

We walked out of the store and very serious I came close to mum, and whispered in her ear “mum, what is tramping?“

I was so serious. Tramping?
What is a tramping club?

Mum, WTF IS TRAMPING?

Because to me, ‘tramping’ would be something to do with tramps or going out to find a man. Something you might have done in college that involved a lot of shots. Nothing I would ever do, now.

In New Zealand…
TRAMPING IS HIKING!

Tramping, known elsewhere as backpacking, rambling, hill walking or bushwalking, is a popular activity in New Zealand. Tramping is defined as a recreational activity involving walking over rough country. Wikipedia

“tramps, ranging from easy to difficult”

WELL, THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW.
Here I am thinking something bad and it’s totally hiking. 

So, I went tramping on Piha beach and it was AMAZING.

Black sand due to volcanic sand and iron oxide. Cool eh!

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LIFE DEAR DIARY

It’s A Great Time to Make Changes & Clean Out That Closet!

I love being on vacation and I love coming home. I really like the start of the year for trying new things and organizing my life. I also love a good Saturday (or Tuesday, whatever!) any time of year to clean out drawers, closet, organize stuff, and purge. Post vacation is a great time to clean out your closet and stuff. Once you’ve lived out of a suitcase and still managed to pull together great outfits, you realize you don’t need so many things. [I didn’t have someone to take my photo in NZ so there are not a lot of outfits posts but it was still fun lol.]

Picked up my mail today from the office and these are my new glasses! Use code IFLZKADXK9 for $10 off at eyebuydirect.com. I love them!

I’m totally into the minimal movement and I know Monday I was all like “Marie Kondo your life” but my clothes are different. They’re a collection I’ve built over decades, dresses, accessories, vintage finds, and lots of shoes. I also have some books I’ll keep forever. There’s some things I just CAN’T get rid of. Over the last year of making changes in my life, I’ve drastically decreased the number of things I own. I have a lot more plants though haha. I put focus into having nicer things instead of more stuff and I feel really good about it.

New light I got before Christmas and yes, that is a mini-me on my phone.

I’m usually a pretty light packer and mostly do short trips. After being in NZ for 3 weeks, living suitcase life and a different nearly every other day, I feel like I have so much stuff! Sean left a pile of laundry in my room and as I was putting things away I was like “whoa you have so many yoga pants“, this drawer is already full“, “another one of those!“. I’m not sure how jet lag is going to affect me, I feel ok right now. I’m gonna try and go right back to my regularly scheduled programming, drink heaps of water, and use melatonin to regulate.

Feels good to be home and in my own bed.

 

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LIFE

Rest in Peace, Betty

Rest in Peace, Betty

Last night when the plane landed I received a text saying that nana had passed away. Mum and I left SF and I guess around that same time in NZ, Betty passed peacefully.  In a message from my auntie, she said ‘we were all in-flight together’.

Mum and Betty with her freshly painted nails

It was hard being there and seeing her struggling to eat or sit up. Nursing homes have this old smell and it is sad seeing people in their last days of life. It was my first time experiencing that and I felt sad but I wanted to be there, yet part of me wanted to run away from it. It gives you all these conflicting feelings about life and death, sprinkle that with a bit of family drama and it would give anyone anxiety.

I’ve spent my whole life on the other side of the world from my family and not been there for any death or sickness. This trip was the first time I’d been there to experience something like this with relatives. We visited nana each day I was there in Palmerston North and mum stayed an extra week to be with her. I took photos and printed one of her and mum, then put it in a frame to put beside nana’s bed. Mum went through some of nana’s things and we all took a few mementoes to remember her. I painted her nails and did her lipstick. We told stories about Canada and our families here. Mum put some nice cream on her frail dry hands.

I’m so glad we were able to be there with her in those final days, especially mum. I can only imagine how hard it was for her. Seeing her, and also leaving her.

Betty was a strong woman. Always dressed well and wore lipstick. Her hair was always permed with a perfect curl. She always had her nails painted nicely. She had 5 children, 3 boys and two girls, including 1 set of twins, my mum and Jimmy. She was a sassy woman, known for saying exactly what was on her mind. A good listener. Very sweet but still a hard case. She liked to do things her own way.

Twins, Jimmy and mum at The Batch over the holidays

We felt a little bit like she was holding on just to see us. We first visited her on January 2nd and she passed away January 15th. Each day we were together we could see her health declining. I didn’t know what else to do but be there and tell stories. She was so happy when I did her nails. I always like to have my nails done too.

Mum and I were saying to her that she could ‘go anytime, it was ok‘ and she mumbled ‘bitch‘. Mum and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, I think she’s been hearing that from people the last couple months and was like ‘I will damn well go when I please thank you very much‘.

This trip was special in so many ways but taking mum back to see her family and spend time with her mum before she passed away was priceless.

I’m going to get my nails done a bright red today for you Betty.
Rest in peace.

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LIFE San Francisco, California

Settling Back Into Work Mode

Settling Back Into Work Mode

This week I have two Mondays. I woke up about 7am Monday in Auckland, NZ and flew to San Francisco in the afternoon. Then we travelled back in time, and here I am experiencing Monday morning again in San Francisco. It’s 8:30am now and my flight is at 12:30pm. The wifi is great.

Luckily for me, I’m someone who looks forward to Monday, it always brings new opportunity and you never know what will happen. I’m glad to have North American power outlets, walk on the right (not left) side of the halls, and Starbucks everywhere. The wifi here is also great and I’m really glad to sit at my computer and settle back into work mode.

Since I’ve been on vacation for the first part of the year I kinda feel like I’m only starting 2018 now. Well, when I get home and wake up in my own bed. I’m excited for what this year will bring. I’m focused on doing more directing, travelling, and speaking. My blog will always be my diary but it’s important to constantly innovate. You don’t want to get left behind and I prefer to be ahead of the pack! 

The last month has been an opportunity to learn more about the things I really love doing and what I don’t want to do. I got a glimpse of lots of different lifestyles and perspectives. I strive to bring more joy into my life and keep my sunshiney positive attitude. The more you live that way the more you bring it into your life. Like attracts like. I have no time for negative attitudes, people, or perspectives.

Last year around this time I had a big awakening during my trip to LA.  This post was written Jan 14th and this one on January 31st if you want a refresh. When I came back to Canada I made a few changes that I stuck with all year.

  1. Do what you want – don’t fall into pressure to go places, hang out, or do anything you don’t want to do. You are the director of your life.
  2. Put yourself first – you need to self-care and make time to be creative, healthy, workout. Make yourself happy and you’ll have more sunshine to share.

I signed up for unlimited classes at Yoga Yoga Studio and went 3-4 times almost every week. At the start of each week, I put in classes my calendar and don’t miss one unless something important or a job comes up. There were obvs exceptions but I was focussed on making my classes because they make ME FEEL GOOD. They’re good for my mental health and great for stretching my bod.

I also gave up going to so many events. For years I went to heaps each week, I WAS EVERYWHERE. Back then, it was essential to getting my name out there and for building relationships. I highly recommend doing that if you’re just getting started! These days, my priorities have changed. I’m doing work I love and have some amazing partnerships. This year I’ll be continuing my work with Telus and Sassoon Toronto. I’ve got some projects on the go with 1188 and am represented by the National Speakers Bureau (Global Speakers Agency). This work brings me so much joy! 

2017 was the year of cutting the fat from my life. I went full Marie Kondo on my whole damn life. If something doesn’t bring me joy, byeeeeeee.

2018 is the year of love and light and I’m excited. 

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