When I was a kid my mum made this rule that if my sister or I had a friend over, we would both have a friend or some mix of friends to make it an even number. She started this because if only one sister had a friend over, someone from the group was left out and would end up upset, left out, angry, or crying.

For a long time, until my mid 20’s, I would never do things in threes. Even the simplest things like eating nuggets, buying things, or actions I had to repeat, it was almost always two or four. I was conscious of it daily. I’d hold back on eating something if it made it three or I’d have two more to make it four. I hated things in three, I avoided it wherever I could.

When I was 18, I dated a guy for two years and three was his baseball number, I tried to like the number but it was never going to work out. I carried my fear of three (Triskaphobia) until I was about 26 and then one day, I decided to stop.

My grandad always said 13 was lucky and one day I made a tattoo appt for Friday the 13th. I had drawn it on paper, sixteen evenly placed dots to go on my left forearm. Eight dots of two different custom shades of green, two by two, in a pattern around my arm like a beaded bracelet. Sixteen, a square number, two times my birthday number 8, the fourth power of two.

Since that Friday the 13th, I have been tattooed on that day a bunch of times. This month, Friday the 13th was my last day out and about in the world before isolation diary started. Today was our first full day up at the cottage with Sean’s daughter and I felt that fear of three sneaking back in like when I was a kid.

Today was challenging. I am finding it hard to stay calm and positive. As much as I am outgoing and fun, I crave order and structure. Dealing with this pandemic is challenging. Being an entrepreneur, a partner, a parent, they’re all tough jobs and they’re even harder right now. Also, being a pre-teen girl and living with one has its challenges. Living in the age of the internet comes with challenges. Living through a global pandemic where nobody really knows what going on, while isolated, has a lot of challenges. Trying to stay calm and not freak the F out right now is challenging.

We are all in this together and we’re also all figuring out how to adjust on our own. I don’t know how to do this. I am trying. Behind the smiling selfies and colourful photos, there are challenges that I’m facing too.

Writing has always been there for me. It helps me deal with my feelings, to remember them, to learn, to move, change, and grow. I’ve been writing here for 15 years and never imagined I’d be documenting this situation that feels like a movie, but it’s not.

I feel a weighted blanket of anxiety on my chest and it’s heavy.

I went for a long walk in the woods, to the end of the road, then a bit further. It was eerie and quiet. The only sound was nature, moving and melting. I was about 1.5k from home when it started raining, so I turned back, and let the rain wash over me.

I don’t know how long this will last, how the world will change, or if anything will go back to the normal we used to know.

I do know that tomorrow is a new day. I am responsible for facing my fears and challenges, just like I did with the 16 evenly spaced dots on my left arm, that one Friday the 13th.

We will get through this.

Today we went to the city with the trailer to get supplies, my plants, our bikes, and Emily. Having new clothes feels like a dream. This pose is inspired by my friend Maca in Montreal, she always takes these at her studio. Check her out at @hey.maca! You will love her. Read my post on IG, maybe you have some tips to share!?

The drive was a breeze because there was no traffic. It was pretty weird to be on the roads with so few people.

We picked up Emily from her mum’s and she got in the car with fresh baked cookies, homemade soup, and fresh ice tea. It is really great to have a supportive co-parent team, especially now. Her mum also sent a folder with lessons, a schedule and some work she’s completed. I am so thankful! Despite my efforts to plan, I’m not a homeschool expert so teamwork is key. We are all figuring this out as we go.

Sean stopped into both offices to get some gear while I packed up all our remaining food and got everything on our list at the house. I put most of my plants into two big bins and I can’t believe how much I missed them. Is that weird?

I was pretty surprised to see how busy the neighborhood was, SOOO many people out walking, riding bikes, two families playing soccer with their kids’ in the courtyard. Do people not understand STAY TF HOME? Do you want this all to be over? Yes? Ok, stay home pls. The curve is not flattening!

Maybe this will help? Briony wrote a book inspired by Go The F*ck to Sleep and had some of her friends read it.

I am stoked to have my Apple Pencil to work on a letting course I started last year. I packed heaps of art supplies, my tap shoes, a light-up skipping rope, clothes, and a ton of beauty products. Apparently being a hoarder all these years is coming in handy!

PLS STAY HOME. TY, BYEEEE!

Feeling good today. Danced in the morning sun to my fav Friday mix from the radio. Did some work then jumped rope. Tuned in for a great talk w/ the founder of Fohr about the state of influencer marketing. I’ve got a blog post with the details to share. Sean and I played outside on the frozen lake near the cottage. It was so warm in the sun. Sean set up the Muskoka chairs on the front deck and tanned in the sun to a meditation.

We finished Tiger King. I really like the outfits. The story is wild. Tomorrow we’re going home to get supplies and pick up Emily. She’ll be here with us for two weeks.

I feel like next week I’ll be more productive and creative. This week I felt so many emotions with everything going on, the weather, my moon time, it was a rollercoaster.

It’s going to be different with Emily here but I think it will be fun. We chatted about things she wants to do and I’m looking forward to the homeschool part. My mum spent heaps of time teaching us and it was so valuable to learn from her and spend quality time together. I hope the weather warms up so we can get started on the yard work.

Here’s to staying home and making the most of the time we have.

Have a great weekend. ?

I woke up not feeling great but pulled myself out of bed to make coffee. The Y&R has 2 new eps on the Global TV app, happy to see that!

I’ve been staring out the window a lot and I’m thankful to be up here. The other day I wanted to go home, I was thinking about my plants and organizing my closet. It might also be nice to put on some of my fancier clothes and do my hair & makeup.

I did a few workouts and spent a couple of hours doing actual work in the afternoon. I rearranged the kitchen furniture to make more room for exercise.

I have been saving onion peels to make a fabric dye, they turn things a nice yellow. Kept a bunch of recycling to use for planting seeds and vegetables. I don’t know if this will work but it’s worth a shot. Who knows how long we will be living in isolation, might as well try!

Today I am thankful for technology to keep us all connected. I’m grateful to have Sean here with me. I am hopeful that after isolation we will emerge with new survival skills and stronger connections to the people we care about. We will get through this.

I swear if it wasn’t for this quarantine diary I would have no idea what day it is. It’s hard to believe we’ve been up here for over a week already, the days have started to mesh together. I’d have a hard time thinking about what I did to pass the time if I didn’t write it down.

via GIPHY

This morning Sean let me run with him which he has never done before. I only went to the end of the road & back which is 1.25km, he continued for about 6k. At the gym I used to run 1-2km, it felt nice to be back. I’m on track to get 40Km this month. These little goals are really keeping me stay motivated.

Taking a break from beers & hangouts today. Thinking I’ll try some new recipes, do a bit of work, and relax. I made these amazing black bean brownies. HIGHLY RECOMMEND! We made steak & potatoes on the BBQ for dinner with a salad. It was nice to sit at the table together. I heated up a couple of brownies & added dairy-free chocolate fudge ice cream for dessert.

Sean painted my nails for me after the disaster manicure I did yesterday. He did a pretty good job! I have limited supplies here so the colour selections are very limited. ?

I haven’t been talking much about COVID19. We can all read the news and it’s anxiety-inducing to stay on it all day. It doesn’t look like the curve is flattening and it seems to just be climbing.

As of today, Canada has 27 deaths and last week the first death was recorded in the Muskoka region where the person died at Barrie hospital. Adding this to my diary so I can look back, once this is over and remember this day.

Canada has closed all playground facilities and off least dog parks. They also implemented mandatory 14-day quarantine for anyone who was traveling. I have been checking my temperature and had a bit of a low-grade fever but I’m feeling ok.

Today on the lake there were a bunch of snowmobiles zipping by, we also saw a family walking by. It was kinda crazy to see people out & about after being isolated here for so long.