If not now, when?

Ask yourself this every single day. 

I’m sitting in the Boston Logan Airport lounge listening to music and soaking up as much free wifi as a girl can. I got to thinking about life and goals and what I dreamed of doing and where I’m going. Not like, back to Toronto but where am I really going? I think January is a time everyone does that introspective look into their life and wonders, what am I doing? It’s probably also why people get sad and maybe have breakdowns! Last year in January I considered giving up blogging and getting a 9-5 job. I’m really glad I didn’t. 

The last two years have been filled with all kinds of things I only ever dreamed would happen. How did I get to do them? How did I make them a reality? I feel inspired to tell you today.

When I was in Australia at Uni (2004 & pre-blog) I often felt homesick. I missed my sister terribly and everyone from home seemed light years away. One fine day I went to a bookstore in search of  ‘something’ that would give me guidance or direction or make me feel better.  I picked up The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg, a book that claimed to be ‘technology for the soul’. I went home and read it cover to cover in one sitting, staying up all night, moving from couch to bed to floor until it was finished.  I was not raised religious and this book wasn’t about that at all. It was about the power of the universe and creating the life you wanted.  It was spiritual wisdom. It helped me realize that I could have everything I ever wanted. It helped me understand that I already did.

As I embarked on this journey of self-discovery (I know how gay that sounds but it is true) I started to change how I thought about things. I’ve always been fairly positive but I really shifted my consciousness to see the light in every situation. By making this change I opened up a whole new realm of my life to accept positivity and my life began to change, for the better. I started writing things down, setting clear goals and striving to surround myself with inspiring people.

I learned something during that time that has stuck with me much longer than the red Kabbalah string on my wrist. It’s a quote by Hillel the Elder and it really inspired me. It’s been adopted by lots of people & things over history including the song “If not now, when?” by Incubus. I ask myself this every single day…

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am not for others, what am I?

And if not now, when?

Paint a positive picture of your future and go for it. There is nothing holding you back or standing in your way. Your life is your movie and you are the director. Go out there and GET IT. It’s TIME.

I used to write all the time and this year I’m going to write more. Next up on the blog is goal setting and people who positively influence me. I meant to write ‘block’ in that sentence but typed blog instinctively. The blog becomes you, I swear!  Time to catch up on my Young & the Restless and fly home.

Love & light my friends, 


* photo by Taylor Jackson at the Venetian in Las Vegas, Nevada 2012


  1. January 23, 2012 / 4:45 pm

    You are one of the most inspiring people on the web and of my main role models (even though you are younger) I heart u. I truly do. 🙂

  2. wills_beats
    January 23, 2012 / 6:45 pm

    Love the positivity. Great message. I went through a similar journey years ago. Although, I wish I went to Australia to realise it instead of having my heart stop (and scaring my mum), but it achieved the same purpose. Life is finite, and you won’t know when, so enjoy the now and enjoy it hard. #livingspree

  3. January 24, 2012 / 3:39 am

    @56169d57c8d0453e4a772c3afef63425:disqus  love that hashtag #livingspree! enjoying it hard every day

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