Seeing almost every single woman on Facebook posting this as their status makes me feel sad and angry. I’m upset. I have let so many things slide and just shake them off like it’s no big deal. IT’S A FUCKING BIG DEAL. I think back to how many times in my life a dude has said something inappropriate to me, made me feel like I was less than him, over-sexualized a non-sexy situation, made me feel shame, or flat out assaulted me. Up until last year, I had lived with pretty huge boobs my whole life. I was approved by OHIP for a Breast reduction that changed my life. Aside from the physical pain of huge boobs, I hated/hid them because of the negative attention I would get from men. It made me feel disgusting. I was ‘blessed’ with a chest before I started grade 7. The next two years were really hard. Going through puberty, trying to figure out things with boys, get good grades, and fit in. There was a group of boys in my grade 7-8 school who really made it their entertainment to torment a few of us. Tom, Nathan, Dan were notorious for unzipping the front of our shirts (zipper shirts were in style it was the 90s).  That boy gang had no shame, they would walk home with us and tell us we had to flash them our boobs in the forest or they’d have Monique beat us up. We didn’t know any better. We wanted to be cool and liked. I remember a specific incident where this guy Aaron had just gotten a cast removed on his leg and he was known for throwing water on you if we wore a white shirt. Why or how they thought this was ok beyond me. I…

I had a very Halloween weekend and it was so much FUN! ????⚰️ On Friday I went to Screemers at Exhibition Place with my sister. We put on zombie makeup, all black, and had a few spooky cocktails. There wasn’t really anyone else in costume so everyone thought we worked there. ? We took heaps of photos with randoms and spent a good part of the night scaring people. Seriously so fun. It was hilarious. We almost laughed our heads right off. Screemers has 7 haunted houses and most are inside. They’re super scary. We didn’t do them all bc were too scared tbh. You can have drinks at the Vampire Lounge, there’s food onsite, and you can smoke outside.  I highly recommend paying the extra $12 for front of the line access. Screemers hooked up with passes and it made the night more fun because we didn’t have to wait! Screemers is $32.95 and +$12 for front of the line access. There is metered parking onsite. ?? On Saturday Lauren and I went to Canada’s Wonderland for Halloween Haunt. The entire park is lit up for Halloween with hundreds of staff in costume creeping around corners and popping out all scary. I was super nervous going because the park is huge and the so are the haunted houses. There’s a lot of ground to cover.  A bunch of the rides are open so aside from scary people everywhere, the’s roaring rollercoasters soaring past your head. If you are not into being scared you can get a No Boo necklace and workers and creepy people won’t try to give you a fright. There was haunted house experience called Blackout where it is literally pitch black and you have to walk through not knowing if someone is going to jump out at any minute or where you are going.…

It had been ages since I was inside Broadview station. I used to go there all the time. The second Toronto house I lived in was on Playter Crescent, Danforth and Broadview. Playter Estates, it was beautiful. I moved in after ending a relationship and had been living in Fort Wayne, Indiana. My sister came to rescue me and take me home.  I was so thankful for her. For the first few months, I slept on a cot in the dining room. It wasn’t that bad, I was with my sister, in a big old house for the first time in ages, and I was back at my old job. We lived in the big brown house on the left, top two floors. I eventually moved into my sister’s old room when she moved out. It had huge windows with full sun all day. It was bright and I love the morning sun. I think back to the two years I spent there with changing roommates. There were 4 bedrooms and at first, it was my sister and girls from school and by the end, it was me and a couple other roommates. We had so much fun living there. Hanging out with the neighbours. Sun tanning on the roof. I was nice to go back and remember those moments.  

The subway is kinda weird. I don’t mind the streetcar. I used to take TTC to work every day from Broadview station to Yorkdale, then a 15min bus to the office. It was my first job after university when I moved to Toronto. I remember writing TTC Tales on my morning commute and posting to the blog when I got to the office. On the way home I’d write about my day. I don’t think WordPress mobile had photo uploading back then. I used Picasa to upload and get a URL then added that to the HTML tab in WP-Admin. Those early days of blogging were what made me fall in love with journaling. I know it’s really helped me live a better life. I love looking back at people, places, things. It’s a great reminder of where you came from and good motivation for where you’re heading. They say there are all kinds of benefits to writing and keeping a journal. I highly recommend it. It’s kinda like finding a friend in yourself. Although my diary is public, I’m often writing letters to my future self, talking through feelings, or making memory notes. A couple years ago my mum & her bf sailed to the Bahamas and lived there for a year. During that time I would write a lot of notes to her so she could read what I was up to when she had wifi. Hi Mum! There’s a lady’s crotch fairly close to my face, she’s wearing a pager and reading a medical paper. Someone who really smells like BO just came near me. Thank god this is my stop. xo  

Had a great weekend after my super relaxing day on Friday. Saturday morning I went to yoga at 8:45 am, then came home and went to the Yoga & Wellness show w/ Sarah. It was pretty small so we walked around the whole show and went for lunch. I bought a beautiful rose quartz/gold/sandalwood bracelet. We walked to Terroni and got a gorgeous little table by the window upstairs. I ate the Saturday Special lasagna (my fav) and washed it down with a nice glass of wine. It was perfect. The last year or so I’ve been trying to make more time for my friends not to just hang out but to hang out in pairs/small groups, to talk, listen, and make memories. For so long I spent heaps of time going to events and not really listening or opening up. I feel so grateful to have smart & talented people around and I wanna cherish that. I may not see some of my good friends all the time but when we do hang out, it’s magical. Last week I went over to visit my friend Sasha who just had a baby and the other week I sat down with an old friend for a tarot reading. So energizing! If you’re ever having a bad day, or want to make your good day better, write down 3 friends you haven’t seen in a while, call them. If one doesn’t answer, call the next! You’ll feel a smile on their face when you say hello and you’ll both feel an electric charge.     

I’ve missed a lot of yoga classes thing month due to work. My schedule is usually pretty chill but the last 4 weeks have been non-stop events, travel, and work w/ 1188. It has been really fun but also very exhausting. I’ve been hustling pretty hard, up early in the morning to get blog things done before heading to the office, working on things late at night, rinse repeat. Today I went to an event, had some chats, a meeting, and was really not in a good mood after. I missed doing something kinda fun due to the meeting. It was hot. I was tired. I was being snarky to my bf. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine all the time, ok? I was laying on the bed in my yoga clothes, thinking about bailing when I got off my ass and out the door. The hot, fresh air, riding my bike to class felt so nice. I felt free. The sun was shining bright and lighting up the studio as I walked in. I was already glad to be there. Our class was hot and sweaty, I worked hard. I breathed right into my back, side ribs and let the air out slowly. It’s amazing what a good yoga class will do. Sending love & sunshine, 

This weekend was so lovely. Spent a bunch of time sitting outside staring at the lake. Went out on my stand-up paddleboard. Had a great BBQ and family dinner. Pie and Kawartha Dairy vanilla ice cream. Slept in. Took naps. New book. Drank hot coffee & read magazines in the still morning sun. The weather was the best we’ve had all summer. Let’s hope we have a few more great days. Soak up that sunshine. Let it charge your batteries! Here’s to a great week!