Here we are, we made it to the end of this insane year, New Years’ Eve 2020. I had a nice day & went to bed before midnight. Feeling good about the year ahead. We have a lot to be grateful for. Looking back at everything that happened this year, I learned a lot. Despite being home/cottage for 90% of the year I did a lot of new things, ditched some old habits, made some new ones. On a side note, I’m really glad to have grown my hair out. I wanted to do it for years and this is the most un-dyed it’s been since I was a teenager. I’m celebrating the growth. My word for 2020 was BLOOM. At the end of 2019, I had a deep-rooted need for change, I wanted something different in my career and was well on my way to leading a healthier lifestyle. In my mind, by the time spring arrived in 2020, I’d be ready to bloom. In January 2020, I went to Cuba, stayed in a hotel, went to events. One weekend in February, I met with some friends and one specific conversation bloomed into something really great career-wise. In March, most of my work was canceled and I ended up on CERB until the end of summer. During that time I did a lot of creative things, I wrote every day, did tie-dye, learned to propagate plants, read books in the sun, and worked out heaps. There were a lot of hard times too, don’t get me wrong, but for the purpose of documenting this memory, I want to be thankful for all the ups and downs. I am grateful for the opportunity to slow down, to create, to be in the moment and not the rat race. As a…

I wasn’t feeling great today. Kept waking up in the night thinking someone was walking through the cottage. Woke up with serious anxiety, went for a run, did a meditation, took a nap. Called mum when after my rest and talked it out. Had a cry, felt a bit better. Mum has a magical way of calming me down, looking at things rationally, and helping me see clearly. A nap always helps too, everything seems more intense when you’re tired. Today, Toronto announced new ‘red zone’ restrictions as cases keep rising in the GTA. Ontario is now seeing over 1,000 cases/day which is kinda scary. As of Saturday, restaurants can no longer have indoor dining, gyms can’t hold fitness classes, no indoor meeting spaces, and bars have 9pm last call. They’re also encouraged people not to hang out with anyone who doesn’t live in their household. It’s crazy we are living through this right now. Being at the cottage feels like we’re escaping and sometimes I start doing something where I forget what’s going on, then I remember. It’s normal to have anxiety, especially now, I’ve found that exercise and meditation have been really helpful. A couple of years ago I was gifted a membership to the Calm app and really got into guided meditation. I found that I really missed using the app and purchased a new membership in the summer. I love the sleep stories by Matthew McConaughey or Harry Stiles. I swear I’ve never heard the end of the story, I always fall asleep! Their website is offering a free week if you’d like to give it a try. If you’re feeling pandemic anxiety, it’s normal, take some deep breaths, go outside for as walk, call a friend, or do something that makes you feel happy. We’ll…