I’ve got bad luck with computers. You think, that being so online and web savy that i’d be all over that shit.
Well no. I’m not good with those relationships. I break them. I’m rough. I’m hard on my equipment. I’ve been through at least one computer every year since 2004 when I got my first laptop for uni….I’ll tell you about it.
My first love, a silver one to take to Australia. He was 11.5″ and I called him Richard. He was sexy, soft and sleek. After a year his disk drive just would not open for me. One of the pixels in his eye lost it’s spark. We came home from down under together but shortly after our return I took him back to the shop. It was over.
He was replaced with a 17″ Toshiba, big David I liked to call him. He was strong. He was great for late night movies and could bust out loud tunes that made me want to dance all night. Big David, he didn’t last. He crashed, hard. Must have been those many late nights… movies in bed, after-parties, other people playing.
I knew I needed a rebound….
I went to something familiar, the sleek silver 11″ stallion. This one was German, Medion. I called him Medi. He was good to me. He was the kind of guy you could take anywhere. No baggage, he was light and made me look cute when we sat for coffee and online chatting. It ended bad. One night we had too much to drink and I spilled red wine all over Shane’s Thinkpad…and he died. I was mortified. We all were. I had no choice in my kind heart but to give her my Medi. I was sad to see him go. He was with her now.
New Year, new job. I got a Thinkpad too. He never really felt like mine but we had a thing. He was good to me until…one late night at the Social. I had been to several events. Why I dragged his ass around I have no idea? I should have left his ass at the office. He didn’t need to come, but he did. I drank too much and left with someone else. I left him there, totally forgot about him sitting at coat-check. He had my Crumpler bag and ipod and my favorite Moleskine. I never got them back, I never got anything back from him.
New day, same job, spare guy from the storage closet. Not as nice, but just as practical. He’s my average Joe. I’ve never been a girl to like the Joe’s and now I might know why. Does and average Joe just crunk out on you? Quit. Stop putting in an effort? Last night I took him home and when I pushed his buttons he made noises that hurt my ears. They weren’t pretty. They were high pitched like whining, I was scared and turned him off after turning him on. He’s at the doctor now. I hope he’s OK. My heart can not take another breakup like that.
Now, I sit here, my delicate fingers and black nails press the keys on this old, slow Acer. I feel like I’m doing time at an old folks home or posting from the Library. I’m dressed in black. My heart longs for guy that I can spend time with, one who can handle my demands of usage and that can be worked hard and play even harder. I need a new computer, one that is my own that can be my companion. I want to build a lasting relationship.
If you’re out there…find me. We can start off slow and ease into it. I’ll be gentle. I’ll take care of you. You will become famous, I’ll tell all the interwebs how much I love you.
Love, the girl who’s hard on units, Me.
Yesterday I got quite a few compliments on the outfit. I think I looked kinda rocker-lesbian-ish. I like that look though, I do it well. There’s something about the short hair and the side shave that gets the girls.
