It’s crazy that when everything is going great you can also feel like everything is crumbling. I don’t mean Murphy’s Law but like just life, in general, has this up and down thing as much as you try to keep a plateau. This week I had two great things come to the table, one that I have been working on in the background of everything else for years, and another potential opportunity to do something I used to do well. I was feeling good about it but I’m at the point in my career that I don’t get too excited until I have the cheque in my bank or a signed contract and we’re making the thing. There was a time I’d get sooo excited about an email. I’d ring mum at work and be like ‘omg mum guess what?” and go on about how someone from some company or tv station sent an email about doing a thing. Sometimes it turned out and sometimes it didn’t. I don’t count chickens anymore.

Yesterday I woke up barely breathing with a deathly chest cold and it was hard to talk. The whole day was been hard because being sick makes everything harder. I had to cancel 2 meetings. 1 of which I first cancelled last week because I was sick. I’m going on day 7. I feel really bad about cancelling twice and even worse because I’m sick and I can’t help it.

I took the photo above while sitting on the floor in my living room with the camera on the back of a chair. I’ve been wearing this vintage wolf shirt for at least 24 hours and I feel like complete garbage. I put on makeup to go to shoppers to get cough medicine to make myself feel better but tbh it didn’t really work. As soon as I open my mouth you can tell you should keep your distance. I sound like a haunting, creepy old lady/man who smoked 200 cigs a day for life. It’s not cute.

Later in the evening, I had a nice time watching Moana with Embot and eating homemade lasagna I made the other day. Everything was fine until I was cleaning up and poured some of the remnants of a Thai green curry I made [I’ve been cooking a lot] down the toilet. Well, apparently that was A HORRIBLE FUCKING IDEA. I went to the bathroom 15min later forgetting about the soup thing and then went into the kitchen. I heard water running. Did I leave the tap on? Maybe I should lay down, am I ok?…NO, NO TAP ON, TOILET OVERFLOWING. EVERYWHERE. WATER ON THE FLOOR. Clean water but STILL. FML FML.

Next, someone is pounding on the door, I open it to the downstairs neighbour YELLING at me because the water is leaking into her house. I say sorry and start crying.  I can’t handle this rn. The other neighbour is also there and she comes in to turn off the water. I’m sick and stuffed up and there is water everywhere and fuck fuck fuck. Sean is on the phone upstairs and I tried to use the plunger myself without bothering him but I think I made it worse and oh my god she keeps yelling. I run upstairs and through tears and raspy voice I tell him he needs to come downstairs NOW. I’m crying more. Emily hugs me. Neighbour says ‘hi Emily!’ and is back to fast, loud talking right at Sean and me.

I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do. Sean goes to her place. The damage isn’t bad, like at all. He fixes the toilet. Everything is fine. Except me. I’m more stuffed up than I was before, dehydrated, and my face is puffy. I just want to crawl into the cocoon that is my bed and stay there until the butterfly inside is ready to come out. ?

Today we’re laughing about the whole thing. I mean Sean is laughing more than me but it’s ok. Haha.  I’ve always been a little dramatic. You can’t sweat the small stuff! Today is a new day! 

POSITIVE SIDE NOTE

When I was in New Zealand, Catherine had so many caterpillars in her backyard. They were everywhere and ate so much food. It was a daily trip to get new plants for them to eat. Reckon over a hundred while I was there.  Some were lost in winds from the tropical storm, but many survived.

Monarch butterflies were dancing in the air all over the place. It was some kind of magic.

Ahhh. Hellooooo February! I felt good to write all that down yesterday. Remember Instagram is only one angle on a 360º life. There’s a lot you can’t see through a screen! 

I had to send photos to a producer of our house today and omg I was like ‘ahhhh our house is a mess‘ and she said everyone says that. When you see that person post their oh-so-perfect living room, kitchen, office, remember it there’s a chance (a good chance!) doesn’t always look like that and there just might be a pile of stuff on the other side of the room. On the other hand, they also might find immense joy in perfecting their Instagram post because that’s the life they want to live. You never who’s is dealing with a death in the family, a cheating spouse, sick kid, putting food on the table, or just making their rent. Instagram allows us to build the reality we want to live in. If you’re lucky, you’ll follow some people who like to keep it real like Lauren (This Renegade Love) or Gracie (Edit 7 Mag). I try to keep it real but day after day, IG is less of a platform I love, ex…

wo wo wo Instagram wtf just saw a 6-day old post like no. no thank you.

— CASIE STEWART ☀️ (@casiestewart) February 1, 2018

There is no sense in comparing yourself to someone you see on the internet. Like, if Beyonce got a new car or house, you wouldn’t compare or feel bad you didn’t have it too. So, don’t do it!

Live your best life. Work hard and be nice to people. 

In other news, Instagram launched new fonts today. Just go to the screen where you add text and tap the top of the screen to get different fonts. Also, FB is saying they might ixnay the newsfeed and put Stories at the forefront [more on that here].

Also, it’s not snowing so I didn’t wear socks. It’s going down to -15 tonight! SPRING, I AM SO READY FOR YOU BABY! Also, this header photo is a stock photo from Unslpash. My desk isn’t ready for photos today!

Cialis Black