Day 400: Staring At The Wall

How you doing? I’m feeling the weight of everything this week and it is heavy. My new job is great but adjusting from 6+ years of freelance to work 40 hours a week has been tiring. Watching the news and seeing things get worse is extremely draining. Not being able to see family when they’re going through their own things is heartbreaking. We’re not even allowed to meet friends in the park anymore. 

Each day this week I opened my blog admin to write something and ended up writing the title and staring at the screen. I couldn’t find the words to document the day. I try to appreciate something good each day like the sun, a call from mum, a good outfit, or laughing over DM’s with a friend. It’s hard to stay motivated/positive right now. Things are pretty bad.

We can only hope things will get better but perspective is hard when we’re stuck in the middle of a storm that’s been going on for 13 months. 

Today I woke up thinking about work and excited to get things done. My motivation slowly declined when I checked my phone, laid back down in my fully made bed, and stared at the wall for a while. Do you find yourself staring at the wall too? Next, I watered my plants and moved some around, grabbed some snacks, made coffee, and turned into the couch. 

In other news, keeping this pandemic diary is surprisingly therapeutic. Despite some days where I’m completely exhausted, there have been a lot of good days. I find myself looking back and remembering park hangs in the summer, bike rides, cottage life, and great meals we made at home. Thankful for friends and family, also Netflix/Prime, good wifi, and snacks. 

Sending you love, hang in there. ?

@casiestewart