This weekend I watched, I listened, I had conversations that were heartbreaking. This is a human issue and I can’t sit by and not say something. I acknowledge my privilege, I can speak up, I can do better. We all can do better.

A post & illustration by @mimimoffie has been running through my mind, “if you’re tired of hearing about racism, imagine how fucking exhausting it is living it”. BIPOC friends & I love you, I stand with you, I support you.

White friends, do your research, educate yourself, talk to the people you love. Acknowledge the role white privilege plays in racism.

??????????

My eye is starting to look less scary. The swelling has gone done after hours of ice, laying down, antihistamines, and CBD.

Today we took a long drive around Muskoka and stopped to get a few supplies. This sign was at a market in Port Carling. Most of the stores there have closed and it doesn’t look like they are reopening. ?

We picked up plants to put around the house for Sean’s mum. I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow so I can get out in the garden. I will be wearing full body bug protection!

I also made a veg lasagna and it turned out so good. Emily has made a choice to be vegetarian so we’re all giving it a go. I don’t eat a lot of meat and hardly any dairy so it’s not much of a change. The lasagna was INCREDIBLE.

Sending you love today and everyday.

I woke up with a mosquito bite (bites?) on my eye. It’s swollen and uncomfortable. I have so many bites, this is definitely the worst of them all. They bit me in the night while I was peacefully sleeping. LITTLE BUGGERS! I will never sleep without an eye mask again. ?

Sean is going to the city to drop Emily off with her mum today. I had planned to go, but with my eye, I’m gonna take the day to rest. I really hate mosquitos but I keep reminding myself it could be worse.

Today I am taking a moment to think. To watch. To listen. There is so much going on in the world right now. I need to compose my thoughts before I write about it.

When we were on the boat I was taking photos and Emily said the sunset looked really cool through her glasses. This is her glasses as a filter.

Tell your friends & family you love them. We all need to stick together.

Yesterday my blog crashed! Thankfully I contacted my server host and their support team helped me out. I was stressed but calm. In times before now, I might have freaked out, got upset, or had a cry. Not this time, I kept my cool, knowing I have regular backups and that it will be ok.

Advice for other bloggers, update your plugins one at a time, update before you post new content, and make sure you have regular backups.

Feels good to be back to regularly scheduled blogging!

Today I did a writing workshop hosted by my friend Ama Scriver on the Addition Elle Instagram. Our internet has been quite slow today making to hard to watch the live video but I was able to catch the tail end that included a writing prompt. I was initially having trouble getting to work on a project so I decided to join in and I am so happy I did. This is my second writing workshop in a week and I am really loving this type of activity right now.

A lot of the writing I do never gets published. I think it’s important to write for yourself and write to remember. I started this blog 15 years ago as a way to keep more memories and it has served me well. I write a lot more than you see here though, sometimes long documents, others short verses of prose that nobody knows.

Journaling through this quarantine has helped me deal with feelings and get to know myself more. If you don’t have a journal, get one. Write notes to yourself and go back to them another day. Writing is such a therapeutic process. I love the sound of typing on keys. The scratch of pencil on paper. Bold Sharpie strokes in a notebook. I love it all.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by CASIE ☀️ (@casiestewart) on May 28, 2020 at 5:37am PDT

Over the past few months, I’ve been asked a couple of times “what are you working on” or about clients, brand partnerships, my job. Before COVID I was up for a FT gig I really wanted, and had met w/ a few people from the company. Since COVID, the job was put on hold and a couple of my brand partnerships have been cancelled.

TBH…idk what I want to do next. I’ve been feeling the need for change the last year. Since my broken bone accident at the end of 2018, I have worked on myself a lot and finally feel good, physically and mentally. (Most the time.)

Some days I feel excited with a childlike fancy, making things, creating, writing, sharing sunshine. Other days, I’m sad for reasons I can’t explain or scared for what the future holds. Despite the sunny photos, there have been a lot of clouds. And, co-parenting an almost 13yo young woman has its challenges.

Although I’m not working as much right now, I try to have some normalcy of computer time in the am (emails, blog) and in the afternoon, I make something. It could be art, photos, food, exercise, or upcycling something from my closet. Making space to relax and making time to unwind also count

One of my good friends and I have this thing where we text each other saying “what did you make today buddy?”. (We have been calling each other ‘buddy’ since we lived in Australia a lifetime ago!) I find her messages so great, asking this is kinda better than “how are you?” because it helps you think about your day differently.

So, what did you make?!

Photos @April Wozny last week on a social distance bike ride + coffee date ☀️??

Today Sean and Emily came to pick me up to go back to the cottage. The last few days alone in the city have been really nice. I’ve enjoyed seeing friends a safe distance and rediscovering the city’s beauty on my bike.

Looking forward to being back in the woods. Sean and I have been together 24hours a day since the start of March so after a few days apart, I can’t wait to hug him. He said the mosquitos are in full force which is a bit worrying but I’ll fight them the best I can. Little buggers!

This week, I’m hoping to get back into my creative groove and make some things. I hope the weather stays nice and I can get out for my first paddleboard session of the season. It looks like it might be a bit rainy which almost always makes me feel like writing or making something.

I’ve had a lot of anxiety about the pandemic over the past few days which I know is normal, but it doesn’t make it go away. Over the past few weeks, I’ve found happiness in simple things like drawing, embroidery, making clothes, or cut & paste. Each little activity helps to distract from the news and find a bit of joy. I hope you can find happiness in simple things and use what you have around you to inspire your creativity in new ways.

Please stay safe and wear a mask!