Day 340: Finding Hope

Went for a walk this morning and wowwweeee it was brisk. Decided to take take a different route and pick up a coffee somewhere in the neighbourhood. As I turned onto Dupont, I noticed a cafe with this big heart out front. Finding hope. ?

The coffee was good. I shared a laugh with the barista. Such a simple interaction but it set a good vibe for my day.

It made me think about mum and when my sister and I were very little. As an immigrant to Canada with no family here, she didn’t know many people at first. Mum used to go into shops just to talk to shopkeepers just to have conversations. I can just see her kind face and warm smile lighting up conversations and charming people with her accent.

Remember, a smile and short conversation can really turn someone’s day around, even your own. We need connection more than ever these days, call a friend, smile at a stranger. We’ll get through this. xo

Day 339: Self-Reflection

A meeting was canceleled this afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the time and go for a walk. It was so nice and sunny today, cold, but sunny. I did about 10km and by the time I got home, was freezing and tired. I’ve really been trying to get outside for a walk each day despite feeling kinda lazy. I haven’t been running much the last month as I am terrified of slipping on ice after my injury. I really can’t wait until winter is OVER.

In other news, have you watched the Free Britney documentary ‘Framing Britney Spears‘? It’s good, will leave you feeling sad/angry about her life and how she’s been treated. I’ve always loved Britney, my sister and I went to her concert as teenagers, the first big show we ever saw!

Hope your week is going well!

338: There’s a Match

Today one of my work friends and I came on the call and we were dressed the same! We were both wearing a bright yellow sweater, almost identical. It was cute.

I originally posted this on Instagram Stories as a video but then saved it, reuploaded it to IG, added animated text in Stories, saved it, then converted it to a gif. I am smiling to myself at how good the text goes with my words, it’s not perfect but it ends at the same time. So simple, a good feeling, I love when there’s a match.

Highly recommend putting on bright yellow if you need some sunshine in your day.

Day 337: Family Day 2020

These photos were taken last year on Family Day. Michelle and I went on a big walk and decided to stop into Allan Gardens to feel the warm air and smell the flowers. We both kinda forgot it was Family Day it it was busier than usual, filled with families, couples, and the same idea.

I was looking back on old photos and it really made me miss going places and doing things. Going on a walk with your BFF, stopping into planty places, grabbing a cocktail, shopping. Y’know, the things we used to do.

Finding this third wave of the lockdown much harder than before. I have less energy than I’ve ever had in my life. My temper is short, my emotions are high, and I’m not nearly as active as before the panny. Winter is always a hard time but without the normal things we used to do to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder, it’s so much heavier.

I guess the other thing making it hard it we really have no idea how long this will last. I’m really looking forward to spring, the snow melting, patios opening, and being able to hang out in the park. Even if we have to wear masks for another 365 days, at least we won’t be in a Stay At Home Order.

Sending you love, we’ll get through this. Only a few weeks until spring. ☀️

Day 336: Happy Valentines Day!

I’m at home today and Sean is at the cottage with Emily. He sent me the most special surprise…

We had a lovely Valentine’s dinner on Thursday night and shared gifts then watched some Netflix. He got me a rose bush plant instead of flowers and as a plant mama, it was the perfect present!

I don’t share too much about Sean here but he is so wonderful! We first met over in 2009 and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh every single day and supports me in everything I do. I’m so grateful for him in my life.

SEAN, ILYSM!

Day 333: Push Through It

Today I woke up determined to leave the cottage, take a package to the post office, and go to town. I hadn’t left the cottage in 5 days and tbh, I was starting to get cabin fever. It’s lovely being in the woods but there’s part of me that loves seeing people and doing things. Even something as simple as going to the grocery or Dollerama feels like an event these days.

After cleaning off the car for 20min in the freezing cold, I got in the truck to leave the driveway. It did not go as planned. I got stuck in the snow and was frustrated. I came back inside, threw off my coat and had a bit of a meltdown. I thought I left my phone in the car so had to go back outside. I took a few deep breaths and decided to give it another go with the truck. I took a good look at the snow, planned the route, and made it. I’m glad I pushed through it! I drove to town in the sun, singing along to the radio. It felt so good!

When I got back to the cottage I went for a walk with a neighbour on the road. It was our first time meeting and we had a nice distance walk through the woods. It was such a beautiful day and we turned to face the sun, feeling its warm embrace on our faces.

Lesson of the day, sometimes you just have to push through it to find the sun.

Day 332: Things do not change; we change.

I was thinking that something needed to change and hey, when in stressful times, why not change your hair?! ? Change is good my friends!

Added some pink to my hair with a temp colour from L’Oreal I got on Amazon. I tried this one once before but it was too pink so I decided to add some conditioner before applying and it turned out a nice, light, strawberry blonde.

I don’t remember ever having roots this long but adding a temp colour was always my go-to for between colourings. I like how this makes the roots less noticeable. I reckon it will rinse out in 2-3 washes but given the certain situation, it’s gonna be much longer before I get my hair done. Today’s Covid update is that the Greater Toronto Area will remain in lockdown until the 22nd of February.

I know I look tired, I am tired! I’ve been trying to get 8hrs sleep every night but it doesn’t matter how much I get, I can’t escape this tired feeling. I miss doing things and going places, seeing people, having plans. Things are getting better but it’s going to be weeks before we’re out of lockdown and months before things resemble the ‘normal’ we used to know.

Feeling a bit better today but could also have a breakdown at any minute.

In other news, only 38 days until the first day of spring.

Things do not change; we change.

Henry David Thoreau

Day 331: Melting Inside

Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year.

I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard.

Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Sending love from the woods.

Day 330: A Message For Monday

A short little message for Monday! Sending you good vibes for a great week. Hang in there, we’ll get through this!

Go for a walk.

Get some fresh air.

Feel the sun on your face.

The wind in your hair.

Day 329: Winter Wonderland of Snow

The air is so crisp! It’s about -10 today and the wind is fierce. After watching a few episodes of The Wilds on Prime, we ventured out on the lake. It’s 100% frozen thick with a few inches of snow. Quite the workout walking in such deep snow! There’s a couple of ice huts out for fishing and heaps of snowmobile tracks.

My hair is a total mess and I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday but I feel good, rested. Thankfully my warm winter coat was here because it’s freezing! I booked off a couple of days this week to recharge my batteries and I hope to spend a few hours sewing. I love the cottage so much.

Sean and I managed to finish the entire first season of The Wilds in one day, what a commitment. Ha! I guess it was a good show…? I’d probably watch S2 if it was available. I find my standards of good tv have dropped during the pandemic, I’ll watch just about anything these days. Even better if there’s more than one season!

What will I watch next? I know, I know, life isn’t that exciting right now, ok! ?

Casie Stewart, signature, iPad Pro.