it’s not that bad and my head feels safe

I’m finishing a poutine at Jack Astors. It was really good, like from a cafeteria, just how I like it. I turned Bjork on the YouTube. “Its all so quiet, it’s all so still, we’re all alone and so peaceful until”….Kylie Minogue comes on. I believe in you. Reminds me of my darling gay roommate from Finland dancing in our Aussie kitchen in his tighty whitey’s.  His name was Juuso, you say it like ‘you-so.’  ‘You so crazy’ we used to say. I love him still. I always picture him and his blonde-hair-blue-eyes-slim-figure in a sailor suit. Smiling. This keyboard is kinda small but it’s how I prefer it for my little hands. I have to get used to it that’s all. I have little hands. I have tiny feet too, like a 5 or 6. I like being able to have a little unit where I can catalog my thoughts. Having a blog is really fun. I read it. I laugh with my friends. I’ve done much of it not telling or showing my friends too much. Most have no idea about the youtube or vimeo. I like when they finally see I’ve let the crazy cat outta the bag, in a good way that is. Showed Luis a bunch of videos last night, he likes the Casie Stewart Show.

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mama’s getting a new boyfriend

I’ve been through some tough times with my comp-units over the past year.  Lost, stolen, broken, wine spilled on. Yes, tragic. You may remember one of my favorite tales Me, The Men, The Machines. The time has come for me to purchase a new laptop. I want a mini guy that is PC and not MAC.  Please don’t try and convince me to switch, I’m just not that into it. I’m looking for durability and value. I’m really hard on stuff and I don’t want to spend too much because I might break/lose it and I’m likely going to replace it in a year or two anyways. If you know someone who might wanna hook a sista up with a good deal, don’t hold back AT ALL.  They will get huge perks from me like mad links and BFF status. I’m gonna be taking my new unit everywhere I go and using it for everything I do.  That’s huge value right there.

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a little walk down memory lane

didn’t bike today. drove in with sabrina. feel really bad about having no helmet. as if today will be the day i get in an accident because i know i need a helmet and i told the internet i’m getting one. i’ll get one after work. feeling hungry and tired. i wonder what catering will bring for lunch? something good i hope. my youngest stewart cousin is six month pregnant. seems like that’s what all my kiwi cousins do as soon as they get close to twenty, marry & make babies. i guess having family around makes a big difference. i’ve grown up without having aunts, uncles, cousins and stuff around. i have to look out for myself. i never went to an ontario private school like some other kids i know. not saying that mum and dad aren’t there because they are, but after them, it’s the friends i call family. friends are good family, you get to pick them. i’m gonna get a pedicure at lunch today. it’s been a while and i just wanna relax. i wore a sweater today that i got in niagara falls, NY when i was about 10. we went with the burchells for a dance competition. showstopper – american dance championships. i got it at united colours of benetton, it has a nautical theme. i’ve always loved it and it still fits so i’m keeping it forever now. i do that with clothes. it’s not just a sweater, or skirt…it’s a memory of where and when i got it and how it makes me feel. i get attached to my clothes and that’s why i keep them, i donate and give away some, but most of them stay.  i’ll be a hundred with the most massive collection, when I think about that…

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artventure #1107009

was nice to go to the AGO. as a member i should go  more often. there’s a new surrealist exhibit and it is beautiful. have lots of old clothes and pretty dresses to see. i imagined my self stepping into the exhibit and putting them on and dancing or walking around the room. i heard about the community bike racks around the city. hadn’t seen one before. nice bikes, nice rack. nathan phillips square is taking part in the outdoor art exhibit. lots of nice things to take photos of. was feeling artistic.    sun was really hot on my skin. started to feel tired from walking around. didn’t realise it was so hot out. heading down to harbourfront now with the girls to see Broken Social Scene. awesome. night is young and warm.

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don’t over stay your welcome

Borrowed from my myspace blog and written in 2004. I had a bad house guest and was kinda bothered by it… Thank you so much for coming. Let me take your coat. Would you like a drink? You’re welcome and yes thank you so much for coming. Chat away. Smile, nod, agree, nod. Yes. No. Of course. Now, are you hungry, should I make something? Another drink? You’re welcome. Would you rather I take you out? Feed you. Bathe you. Tuck you in, in my warm little bed, and rock you baby, right to fucking sleep. The sun rises yet you are not awake. You want coffee? You want breakfast? You want, and need, and need more wanting. Oh, yes it is lunch. Are you hungry now? Do you need something from me? I want a fucking break. You need too much attention for my short attention span. Do you need to need me to do things all the time or can you do it your fucking self? Can you just go back home to your own house ? You have overstayed your welcome. Yes. You’re welcome. Now go and make yourself a nice fucking day.

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a morning conversation

Bonga says: how art thou? c a s i e  s t e w a r t says: thou art magnificent

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