Great sleep. Lots of rest. Following a bunch of new Tweeps. Sun is shining and it’s warm outside. I woke up thinking Zombie. I want to dress Zombie again. Did it a few times during October last year. I don’t like scary movies, blood, gore, surgery, guts, pretty much anything gross….but you put me in Zombie and I’m not even scared. Zombies eat brains. Last year I went on my first Zombie walk. Starts in the pit at Trinity Bellwoods with hundreds of dead people then they climb out of the pit and take the streets. Oh what fun it is to stride with all the bloody faces. I put a bloody finger up my nose. It was sick. I’m gonna walk it again this year for sure. I hope Karrera is back from BC.
Soon as August rolls around I start thinking about Halloween. That’s my favorite day of the year. I love to dress up, I just love it.
I walked around for about an hour thinking about my life. I was having realizations and I felt like a crazy person.
It was as if I was in a fog. I was having anxiety.
Sometimes I freak out. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the internet anymore. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about stuff and sometimes I forget things. I started freaking about my last minute trip to a foreign country. Panicked. Instant attack.
I left the store. I walked down the street back in my own fog again. I’m nervous about going but then think not going would be silly too. For a bunch of different reasons. It’s a chance to relax and go some place cool with bunch of cool old friends. Relax.
I’m packing one bag; one nice outfiit, one dress, one piece bathing suit, one yoga mat. This is the relax retreat. A true mini vacation/airport tour. Vanilla as some may say.
I know when I come back Sunday I’ll have had lots of time with self. I love traveling; airport, airplane, people, waiting, watching, thinking, moving. I love being in motion.
Mum rung me while I was at the track and told me about MJ. I knew he went to the hospital and while I was biking he passed. Poor Farrah, will forever be remembered in the shadow of the world greatest pop icon. I realize now much I love him when I look at photos, listen and see him dance in videos.
Jenie and I used to watch Much Music for hours and learn his moves and make up dances. We’ve got a stack of MJ collection cards at Mum’s from when we were kids. He’s got dark black skin black and wearing the red leather jacket in some of them, he looks hot.
God, I love him, always will.
Michka made a tribute picture and sent it to me this morning. She looks great as MJ.
Girls were working out in the park. They start in a circle then change formation to watch the teacher. I stopped to have a sit in the grass and relax.Needed to cool down from the hot heat on the bike ride. Was tired on the bike today, really warm out today. Humid.
Sat down for a cold refreshing one on the bench and felt calm. Gonna get a new style today.The stuff is in my hair is hot and it feels like I’m in direct afternoon sunlight on a hot summer day. It kinda burns a bit but it’s good. I’m starting to get excited for Pride. I get talking about past times and all the girls start calling and we make plans. OMG its so fun. I love.
Its hot, burning right now a bit. I love coming here. I was so crazy with a mind a racin’ that I wasn’t relaxed. Now I’m relaxed. Beautiful outside right now, lovely. I looked at your picture but it wasn’t you it was an inposter of you circa something. I laughed. Facebook on phone means double notifications and major annoyance. Don’t like it.
Do like getting my hair done. The colour is setting in. Its gonna be bright.
I’m gonna freak out at first like I always do then love it. It’s going to be perfect for the weekend. I love it.
Her birthday is coming up and Grama wants to have a party. She’s turning 100. She loves to dance and get down. She doesn’t mind a few drinks or a toke either. You’d never know how old she is by her body. I think she’s had work done but she’ll never tell us. This one time she came out for Halloween and she was a hit. All the boys were checking her out from behind and dancing with her. When she turned around, they were shocked to see her age all over her face. Oh, Grama, you so funny. There’s a video of her…but it’s really quite creepy.
Sometimes I just can’t seem to relax. My mind races with a hundred thousand thoughts at a time and I lose my concentration and have no focus. I think there’s a good chance it might have to do with how much time I spend on the Internet soaking up information. My daily intake of news, facts, and randomness is very high. I constantly multitask and when I’m not on the Internet I have blackberry that receives three different emails, Blackberry Messenger and has wireless access. I’m addicted to information. I’m very creative. My mind never stops.
I think back to learning about entrepreneurs and how the really successful ones work their asses off. That’s what you gotta do to get anywhere. I’ve been so busy lately and but not just going-places-busy, thoughts-process-busy. It’s really good and I like it but sometimes it gives me knots in my stomach and I feel like I’m going to puke. That’s how I felt this morning. I got up extra early so I could get to the office and check some things off my list before everyone else got in. The ride in was nice and my bike makes me feel free. I managed to get a bit ahead but I’ve still got a full day staring me in the face. Lunch meeting, after work meeting, concert, opening party, then finally bed. It’s days like this I sing the song from Sharon Lois and Bram and think it’s OK, you’re gonna be OK. It’s just another day.