Today was not a great day. There’s ice is melting outside our windows and I felt like I was melting inside. If you feel like you’re melting too, don’t worry, it’s normal to feel anxiety right now. Mum’s recommendation is always to have a little nap and there’s a good chance you’ll feel better when you wake up. It’s ok to feel this way, we’re living in a pandemic that’s been almost an entire year.
I wasn’t feeling great last night, I felt sad, empty, I cried. Woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. The whole day I wasn’t on my game. I wanted to do things, create things, but I was paralyzed with anxiety and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. This lockdown is hard.
Almost a year ago when we had our first lockdown, there was a novelty of being up at the cottage, I was creative, I wasn’t working, and it seemed like it would be over soon. This round, we’re not sure when things will end and it’s so cold outside. I feel tired most days and don’t have the same energy I used to have. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
The air is so crisp! It’s about -10 today and the wind is fierce. After watching a few episodes of The Wilds on Prime, we ventured out on the lake. It’s 100% frozen thick with a few inches of snow. Quite the workout walking in such deep snow! There’s a couple of ice huts out for fishing and heaps of snowmobile tracks.
My hair is a total mess and I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday but I feel good, rested. Thankfully my warm winter coat was here because it’s freezing! I booked off a couple of days this week to recharge my batteries and I hope to spend a few hours sewing. I love the cottage so much.
Sean and I managed to finish the entire first season of The Wilds in one day, what a commitment. Ha! I guess it was a good show…? I’d probably watch S2 if it was available. I find my standards of good tv have dropped during the pandemic, I’ll watch just about anything these days. Even better if there’s more than one season!
What will I watch next? I know, I know, life isn’t that exciting right now, ok! 😜
The weather this week has been so nice. I’ve gone on some great long walks. met up with Aisha on Wednesday to go for a distanced walk with her and Kermit, her cute pup.
We started out a warm drink and followed the sun walking around the Junction. I swear, every time I see a friend lately, I jump and scream, hugging myself to show how much I’d hug them if it wasn’t a pandemic.
The sun is a star and so are you, don’t forget it.
Each day we have more minutes of daylight, and in a few weeks, we’ll have another hour. Before we know it, daylight saving time will kick in on March 14th and spring will be here close.
Kermit is so cute, he’s 5 months old and has a lot of energy. The fluffy fur!
I was slow getting outside this morning, posted something on IG, listened to the radio, put on my running gear. I didn’t realize how windy it was and walked out the front door. It hurt my face. I turned around, then back around again & just went for it. My headphones weren’t connecting to music on my watch so I ran into the wind away, from the sun, in silence. Who needs an ice roller when you have -5 air with a windchill hitting your face? I nearly turned back a few times.
Heard a noise from my headphones and connected them to a playlist of happy tunes. I didn’t give up ran to the end of the path. On my way back the sun was on my face I felt my toes start to warm up. I even unzipped my leopard print jacket a little. ‘Stand by Me’ came on and it was like the cold wasn’t there anymore. I started to heat up, built my own little fire inside. I kept running to finish the 2k I set out to do. Got home just after 9 am, ready to start the day. I feel good. Energized.
Wearing a new sweater from Zara Kids that matches perfectly with one of the first scrunchies I made in the summer. Wearing jeans these days feels so fancy haha.
Next week I’m heading back to the cottage with Sean and took a few days off work to reflect & recenter myself. I can’t wait.