It’s been a little while since I updated and to be honest, I just didn’t feel like it. Over the last 20 days, I often opened WordPress to write so many times but ended up saving drafts, only counting the days. The last 2 weeks have been hard, we’re still in lockdown, I haven’t been vaccinated, I miss my parents, going places, doing things. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it, being on the internet, sharing my life. Over the years I’ve written 20 posts with this same title, you can read them here. Work is going good and I’ve finally gotten into the groove of being an employee, it took 8-10 weeks. I hadn’t worked full-time since 2013 so it was quite an adjustment. I really love the work I’m doing and can’t wait to share an exciting project. I’ve been riding my bike a lot lately, and going for walks after work, seeing friends in the park. It’s the only thing keeping me sane! With the pandemic, work, relationships, family, and general anxiety, I haven’t felt like sharing here. I still post something to my IG Stories most days, Instagram, or pop up on Twitter but each time…

You would think that after being away at the cottage for nearly two weeks I’d be clear-headed and ready to hit the ground running but I’M NOT. I’m distracted, frustrated, and wondering what I’m doing with my life! I played this song yesterday and sang out loud in my room. I’m just not sure what to do! I thought a lot about what I’ve been working on the last while and I don’t really want to do the same stuff anymore. I need a shift. Change. Check back in a week, maybe I’ll feel different, maybe I’ll feel same?

I had a dream last night that I lived somewhere else. Somewhere without wifi and lots of plant life. It was beautiful and the air smelled warm and sweet. Kind of like the other side of Paihia Beach where the manuka honey grows. The waves crash on the rocks with such gusto it makes you scared for your life but you breathe it in. Sometimes when I need to calm down I think of that and take a deep breath.