It’s always something. You think everything is fine and then something shows up to the party and ruins your day. It’s sunny outside and I wore a cute outfit but I can’t help but feel grey. I don’t like feeling this way. I should be happy, it’s the weekend and it’s warm out.  I found this old eight-track tape in Mum’s basement a little while ago.

I wish I had a player to play it. 

I sorted through a huge pile of business cards. There’s lots of cool people in that pile.  I think the cards look neat when wrapped and stacked.  I feel like this is the slowest day ever.  It’s one of those day’s i’d watch Closer and listen to Damien Rice I think. There’s heaps cool things in Mum’s basement.  Lots of our old stuff. The movie Yes Man is really funny.  Zack and Miri Make a Porno is one of the worst movies i’ve ever seen.  No link to that one, imbarassed to say I even watched the whole thing. I hope it’s nice out tomorrow.  I could use a vacation day.

The other day I found a little notebook in my desk.  The noted were all made in April 2008. This is the first time I’ve typed them out and now I’m sharing with you. I hope you like them. The photos are from the warehouse the other day. It’s a creative space I adore.

ride me by casie stewart,  april 16, 2008

sunny outlook, brand new, fresh book

sun shining outside, take the bike out for a ride

feel the sun shine on your face, biking fast, win your own race

light a cig, turn up the tunes

nothing like the sun in the afternoon

flare by casie stewart, april 16 2009

free spirit flowing lyrics,  let it out,  scream & shout!

don’t be shy let the words fly,

across the page like sprinkled sage

like you lost your age!

define yourself in this life

open your mind, let the words suffice

you are the director, a mind reflector

direct your movie

let your lyrics move me

I’ve got bad luck with computers. You think, that being so online and web savy that i’d be all over that shit.

Well no. I’m not good with those relationships.  I break them.  I’m rough.  I’m hard on my equipment.  I’ve been through at least one computer every year since 2004 when I got my first laptop for uni….I’ll tell you about it.

My first love, a silver one to take to Australia. He was 11.5″ and I called him Richard. He was sexy, soft and sleek. After a year his disk drive  just would not open for me. One of the pixels in his eye lost it’s spark.  We came home  from down under together but shortly after our return  I took him back to the shop.  It was over.

He was replaced with a 17″ Toshiba, big David I liked to call him.  He was strong. He was great for late night movies and could bust out loud tunes that made me want to dance all night. Big David, he didn’t last. He crashed,  hard. Must have been those many late nights… movies in bed, after-parties, other people playing.

I knew I needed a rebound….

I went to something familiar, the sleek silver 11″ stallion.  This one was German, Medion. I called him Medi. He was good to me. He was the kind of guy you could take anywhere. No baggage, he was light and made me look cute when we sat for coffee and online chatting.  It ended bad. One night we had too much to drink and I spilled red wine all over Shane’s Thinkpad…and he died.  I was mortified. We all were. I had no choice in my kind heart but to give her my Medi. I was sad to see him go. He was with her now.

New Year, new job. I got a Thinkpad too. He never really felt like mine but we had a thing. He was good to me until…one late night at the Social. I had been to several events.  Why I dragged his ass around I have no idea? I should have left his ass at the office. He didn’t need to come, but he did. I drank too much and left with someone else. I left him there, totally forgot about him sitting at coat-check. He had my Crumpler bag and ipod and my favorite Moleskine. I never got them back, I never got anything back from him.

New day, same job, spare guy from the storage closet. Not as nice, but just as practical. He’s my average Joe.  I’ve never been a girl to like the Joe’s and now I might know why.  Does and average Joe just crunk out on you? Quit. Stop putting in an effort? Last night I took him home and when I pushed his buttons he made noises that hurt my ears. They weren’t pretty. They were high pitched like whining, I was scared and turned him off after turning him on. He’s at the doctor now.  I hope he’s OK.  My heart can not take another breakup like that.

Now, I sit here,  my delicate fingers and black nails press the keys on this old, slow Acer.  I feel like I’m doing time at an old folks home or posting from the Library. I’m dressed in black.  My heart longs for guy that I can spend time with, one who can handle my demands of usage and that can be worked hard and play even harder.  I need a new computer, one that is my own that can be my companion. I want to build a lasting relationship.

If you’re out there…find me. We can start off slow and ease into it. I’ll be gentle. I’ll take care of you.  You will become famous, I’ll tell all the interwebs how much I love you.

Love, the girl who’s hard on units, Me.

I often find that when I have a sub it stinks up the place like smelly armpits.  I don’t really mind it much when it is my own sub, it’s less obvious.

I do quite mind when it is some others sub thing. The airvertising is not pleasing to the senses.  I still go for subs now and then, but rarely takeout.  It’s too much and my nose knows it.

I love wearing my bathing suit. It’s one of my favorite things to wear. However, not always the most appropriate. Thinking about this, I came up with a fab idea that I needed a prekini to wear before heading down to the pool or from the car to the beach. I mean prekini as an outfit and not the wax stuff. These are my first few sketches. I’m thinking this is a great idea! Hella good style.

I had a great weekend filled with relaxing, a little partying, some shopping, pool time, sun tanning, friends and lots of fun. I’m stoked for a short week as I fly out to Miami on Friday for the weekend. I’m very excited.Good thing I got those new bikini’s, I’ll be needing them. Sabrina and I had a lovely time in the sun yesterday. It was so warm out while blocked by the wind.

I’m a very lucky girl, I got new glasses again. It seems I can never have enough. I have a drawer filled with heaps of pairs. I finally tossed about five pairs that were old ugly guys or broken.

I also took a tour in Kensington on Monday and paid a kid draw to a portrait of me. It cost $2.00 and this is what it looks like. I put it on the fridge, I figure if I leave it there for 20 years I might get a good return on this young artists work. ha! Celebrate creativity! His name is Chris Scriver.

NOTL – That’s what they call it. Like it’s a gangsta-short- code for something really bad ass. It’s a popular spot for wino’s and people from the State. If you enjoy people watching, grab a drink and score a seat because you’re sure to see some entertaining characters. I’m not sure where the people come from but it’s so much different than being in the city.  Here, it’s busy and noisy and there are so many people that you can’t even tell who the crazy ones are and you barely have time to watch the days go by. Good food at this place, Prince of Whales.

I was a little shocked to see the below advertisement for Wine Tours combined with biking.  I’ve learned that biking and drinking, especially to multiple destinations, isn’t usually a good idea. By the time you get to your last stop you’re half in the bag and then you have to go all the way back home. I’m surprised that this place even exists. I wonder if I can take a dirt bike around to different breweries anywhere? Now, doesn’t that sound like a bright idea?

This building made for pretty pictures. It’s a really old one covered in vines. I’m watching The Bachelorette and I think she’s a wild one. This could be an interesting show.  I dig that she drives a purple vintage classic. I think guys get snarkier than girls do and there will be some fights.  Shame the preview gives the show away and the guys are such dorks.

I had Peach Beserk make me this dress my my birthday. It’s stretchy and covered with Edie and Andy. I love it hard. You can make your own dress here. Looks especially great with fishnets and a long coat. Loves it.

Drum circle happens every week during the summer. It goes down at Cherry Beach one week than Trinity Bellwoods the next. I usually only go to TBP because it’s closer than the beaches.  I love it.  There are lots of mad hippies dancing. There are also lots of skid kids too.

We moved our home-base-blanket around a few times to avoid the dirty kids from contaminating us. One time a kid puked while sitting in front of us and we picked up shop like nomads and moved in NO time.

My favorite is being in the middle of the circle dancing with my arms flailing around. There is something magical about the connection between the music and the people all being brought together in an open space .  When it gets really hot out there’s more girls & boys with their shorts and shoes off dancing.

There is drinking and smoking in the park  all around.  We saw a couple of kids chasing each other around with McCain pies and tossing them at each other. What are kids doing these days you ask? That I guess. There were hundreds of people there. You can hear the beating of the drums as you approach the pit in the park, I love that sound!

Drum Circle #001 2009 from moi on Vimeo.

this is sadie, she spins fire from me again on Vimeo.

There’s fire spinning too. Some nights there is lots of fire spinning!! This girl was really good she was doing the hula-fire-hoop and poi’s at the same time. I’m not even going to try that, I’m waaaay to accident prone. Overall, stellar time. Absolutely stellar.