i got a new thing

it’s 12secondstv and this is my channel. it’s so much fun. haha found the mic volume on 12seconds.tv

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even when it rains, it shines

they weren’t just a pair of  boots to me. they became part of my life, i loved them.  i would wear them all the time and when they were gone things just never seemed the same. i though about them and everytime the weather said rain i missed them a little more. i don’t know where they went but i got a replacement to fill the empty space on my feet when it rains. the forecast is calling rain for a week i say let the rain shine. white wellies.

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thoughts from my walk today by: casie stewart

i forgot my damn umbrella. you have a bunch of brolly’s at home, idiot. i want sunnies, mum and pat are enjoying my hand-me-downs. i wonder when jack will realize who mary jane is. he’s so stupid.  rain all bloody weekend. where did summer go? know him, don’t make eye contact. nice pants, loser. getting aggravated by everyone. do i want a coffee? i got a jerk sandwich and thought of you. urgh, why do you have a nose ring dude? you’re not pulling it off very well for your over 30 age. why is everyone staring at me for fucks sake? am i naked? i like wearing hats. that orphan movie should be called there’s something about esther. freaky. kinda want one of those cheesy michael jackson shirts in china town. it’s so smelly and sick around here. if you wanna do something to stop eating, just go to china town. sick. thinking about the kitchens makes my stomach turn.  nice dress, bad shoes. you’re an idiot. they’re gonna turn, you’ll get hit if you cross right now. i wonder what that company does? i forgot i have a huge eagle tattoo on my back. get batteries. get me home already. here comes the rain. no just kidding, spitting. last night was fun. so muggy out. yum, coleslaw. hurry up elevator. i’m getting pissed off. you’re not even gonna eat the jerk. what should i do? here comes the sun. here comes the sun.

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you gotta take the time to think and breathe a bit

i took a little walk this afternoon past the place we met. it reminded me of you. i remember you saying ‘even if the coffee wasn’t so good i’d still come for the music’. the music is always good. you told your friend ‘i’m gonna go talk to that girl’. i’m glad you did. i’ve been feeling very positive and inspired despite drinking both nights this week. i managed to get to bed at a decent hour. taking a b50 complex every day helps too. sleeping with a sleep mask over my eyes keeps the sun out in the mornings. thanks Ellen for that one. i hear that people get inspired by things i do and how i look at life. i’ve learned that more this week than ever. i actually heard it from  a few people and it brightens my day to know i brought sunshine to someone elses.  i look at each day with an open mind and i see beauty in little things that people miss when they are busy, stressed, focused etcetera. i like how ‘etcetera’ looks when typed. there is a small shop in cambridge called etcetera and my second mum used to often get presents and kick-nacks there. it was beautiful and old and had glassware and picture frames and pewter stuff.  i think it’s still here. i hope it is. mexico here i come. i’m only there for about 48 hours.  i WILL NOT FORGET CAMERA and will have new laptop (Bobby) there with me. thinking about doing something cool. i’d like to ustream from the resort.  i love adventure and new airports. my friend i’m visiting is very chill and wants to relax. and that to me, sounded just right.

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it’s not that bad and my head feels safe

I’m finishing a poutine at Jack Astors. It was really good, like from a cafeteria, just how I like it. I turned Bjork on the YouTube. “Its all so quiet, it’s all so still, we’re all alone and so peaceful until”….Kylie Minogue comes on. I believe in you. Reminds me of my darling gay roommate from Finland dancing in our Aussie kitchen in his tighty whitey’s.  His name was Juuso, you say it like ‘you-so.’  ‘You so crazy’ we used to say. I love him still. I always picture him and his blonde-hair-blue-eyes-slim-figure in a sailor suit. Smiling. This keyboard is kinda small but it’s how I prefer it for my little hands. I have to get used to it that’s all. I have little hands. I have tiny feet too, like a 5 or 6. I like being able to have a little unit where I can catalog my thoughts. Having a blog is really fun. I read it. I laugh with my friends. I’ve done much of it not telling or showing my friends too much. Most have no idea about the youtube or vimeo. I like when they finally see I’ve let the crazy cat outta the bag, in a good way that is. Showed Luis a bunch of videos last night, he likes the Casie Stewart Show.

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mama’s getting a new boyfriend

I’ve been through some tough times with my comp-units over the past year.  Lost, stolen, broken, wine spilled on. Yes, tragic. You may remember one of my favorite tales Me, The Men, The Machines. The time has come for me to purchase a new laptop. I want a mini guy that is PC and not MAC.  Please don’t try and convince me to switch, I’m just not that into it. I’m looking for durability and value. I’m really hard on stuff and I don’t want to spend too much because I might break/lose it and I’m likely going to replace it in a year or two anyways. If you know someone who might wanna hook a sista up with a good deal, don’t hold back AT ALL.  They will get huge perks from me like mad links and BFF status. I’m gonna be taking my new unit everywhere I go and using it for everything I do.  That’s huge value right there.

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a little walk down memory lane

didn’t bike today. drove in with sabrina. feel really bad about having no helmet. as if today will be the day i get in an accident because i know i need a helmet and i told the internet i’m getting one. i’ll get one after work. feeling hungry and tired. i wonder what catering will bring for lunch? something good i hope. my youngest stewart cousin is six month pregnant. seems like that’s what all my kiwi cousins do as soon as they get close to twenty, marry & make babies. i guess having family around makes a big difference. i’ve grown up without having aunts, uncles, cousins and stuff around. i have to look out for myself. i never went to an ontario private school like some other kids i know. not saying that mum and dad aren’t there because they are, but after them, it’s the friends i call family. friends are good family, you get to pick them. i’m gonna get a pedicure at lunch today. it’s been a while and i just wanna relax. i wore a sweater today that i got in niagara falls, NY when i was about 10. we went with the burchells for a dance competition. showstopper – american dance championships. i got it at united colours of benetton, it has a nautical theme. i’ve always loved it and it still fits so i’m keeping it forever now. i do that with clothes. it’s not just a sweater, or skirt…it’s a memory of where and when i got it and how it makes me feel. i get attached to my clothes and that’s why i keep them, i donate and give away some, but most of them stay.  i’ll be a hundred with the most massive collection, when I think about that…

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artventure #1107009

was nice to go to the AGO. as a member i should go  more often. there’s a new surrealist exhibit and it is beautiful. have lots of old clothes and pretty dresses to see. i imagined my self stepping into the exhibit and putting them on and dancing or walking around the room. i heard about the community bike racks around the city. hadn’t seen one before. nice bikes, nice rack. nathan phillips square is taking part in the outdoor art exhibit. lots of nice things to take photos of. was feeling artistic.    sun was really hot on my skin. started to feel tired from walking around. didn’t realise it was so hot out. heading down to harbourfront now with the girls to see Broken Social Scene. awesome. night is young and warm.

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don’t over stay your welcome

Borrowed from my myspace blog and written in 2004. I had a bad house guest and was kinda bothered by it… Thank you so much for coming. Let me take your coat. Would you like a drink? You’re welcome and yes thank you so much for coming. Chat away. Smile, nod, agree, nod. Yes. No. Of course. Now, are you hungry, should I make something? Another drink? You’re welcome. Would you rather I take you out? Feed you. Bathe you. Tuck you in, in my warm little bed, and rock you baby, right to fucking sleep. The sun rises yet you are not awake. You want coffee? You want breakfast? You want, and need, and need more wanting. Oh, yes it is lunch. Are you hungry now? Do you need something from me? I want a fucking break. You need too much attention for my short attention span. Do you need to need me to do things all the time or can you do it your fucking self? Can you just go back home to your own house ? You have overstayed your welcome. Yes. You’re welcome. Now go and make yourself a nice fucking day.

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a morning conversation

Bonga says: how art thou? c a s i e  s t e w a r t says: thou art magnificent

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i am doll eyes, doll parts

I came across two things in the last 24 hours that go with doll parts and wanting to be the girl with the most cake. Hole also may be getting back together. That could be good or it could be really bad for Courtney. 1) Barbie Doll parts jewelery. Kinda creepy? No. I’d love Barbie boobies and I like the hands necklace. It’s  a one-of-a-kind necklace with eighteen barbie doll hands chopped with silver end caps. The collection is made by Margaux Lange and she has a pile of Barbie parts stuff on her Etsy store.  I like this beauty smile ring too. 2) Last night I had a Mojhito cupcake with white rum, lime, mint & cane sugar.  Cocktails by Gateau was at my place last night for a Canada Day bbq. They can come over with the cupcake cart anytime.  She won my heart playing MJ.

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hey there batman, haven’t seen you around

I have no attention span sometimes. At home on computer listening to TV and barely watching.  I get on the computer and am Tweeting away to people then I click on a link and get distracted. I see I got  email.  The movie was over 30 minutes ago. I’m thirsty and I get some water then reach for the fridge. I open the door and close it again before walking over to the balcony with my water.  Checks phone.  Emails and a missed phone call and a text from Twitter. Look at the TV, what show  is this?  Step outside. Go back to computer and remember what I was doing. I keep cleaning up this external drive so I can fit all the new photos on it. Got lots done…check Facebook  for a break. Clicks on a  link and reads something then reaches for the water glass and then the phone. A couple years ago Jenie and I decided to have a photoshoot at the Keg Mansion while we were there. Found these tonight. We were both darker and longer in the hair. I think I should grow my hair now that its so short. I love this Batman shirt, it’s thermal-like and really soft. I hope  she as it still.

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guess who came over?

Her birthday is coming up and Grama wants to have a party. She’s turning 100. She loves to dance and get down. She doesn’t mind a few drinks or a toke either.   You’d never know how old she is by her body. I think she’s had work done but she’ll never tell us. This one time she came out for Halloween and she was a hit. All the boys were checking her out from behind and dancing with her. When she turned around, they were shocked to see her age all over her face.  Oh, Grama, you so funny. There’s a video of her…but it’s really quite creepy.

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you’re so vain i bet you think this URL is about you

the song plays in the back of my head and the conversation starts… So, you coming out tonight? Hey, I’m not gonna make it. I have plans tonight. Really, with who? Oh, a friend. Anyone I know? Um, yeah I think you might know them, I’m sure you know their website. Cool. Who is it? Maybe then wanna come out too? No, they wanna stay in. I can come out for a bit but I wanna be back home for 11:59pm to meet them. What! They’re coming at midnight? Yeah, well kinda. Not exactly sure my plans but they will include getting my Facebook Vanity URL and celebrating @ClubSobey.

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