The other day I watched Franca on Netflix. It’s a documentary about Franca Sozzani, former Editor in Chief of Italian Vogue, who died at 66. She was cutting edge and groundbreaking. I won’t spoil it with too much detail but it’s an inspiring film.

I wrote this quite down as I watched it and it stuck with me. When I was in high school I printed out a Shakespeare quote, attached it to a magnet and stuck it on the fridge. I still have that magnet on our fridge today:

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

This quote stuck with me because it’s easy to give up on your dreams, it’s easy to do something everyone has done before, easy to get a regular job, or not step out of your comfort zone. HOWEVER, when you do that, that’s WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS. By fearing to attempt, you lose the good you might win by trying. By not trying, you give up on yourself before you even start. 

magic happens, casiestewart, comfort zone, borderline artistic

I drew this years ago.

I’ve always done things my own way. A lot of the time it made it harder, took a bit longer, but it’s given me so much joy. I didn’t go right into a ‘regular’ 9-5 job, get married, have kids, like so many of my old friends but that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted a life less ordinary. 

Yesterday was a hard day for me reading the ‘me too’ posts from almost every single female friend in my timeline. I was overwhelmed with anger and sadness, I took a 2hr nap in the afternoon. BUT THAT WILL NOT STOP ME. We are resilient and we can do this.

I found my inspiration today and I’m sharing it with you.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Do not let anyone stand in your way, or haunt you from your past. DO NOT FEAR THE ATTEMPT.  Bring greatness into your life by pushing through boundaries, stepping outside your comfort zone, and championing people around you.

 

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Me too.

Seeing almost every single woman on Facebook posting this as their status makes me feel sad and angry. I’m upset. I have let so many things slide and just shake them off like it’s no big deal. IT’S A FUCKING BIG DEAL. I think back to how many times in my life a dude has said something inappropriate to me, made me feel like I was less than him, over-sexualized a non-sexy situation, made me feel shame, or flat out assaulted me.

Up until last year, I had lived with pretty huge boobs my whole life. I was approved by OHIP for a Breast reduction that changed my life. Aside from the physical pain of huge boobs, I hated/hid them because of the negative attention I would get from men.

It made me feel disgusting. I was ‘blessed’ with a chest before I started grade 7. The next two years were really hard. Going through puberty, trying to figure out things with boys, get good grades, and fit in.

There was a group of boys in my grade 7-8 school who really made it their entertainment to torment a few of us. Tom, Nathan, Dan were notorious for unzipping the front of our shirts (zipper shirts were in style it was the 90s).  That boy gang had no shame, they would walk home with us and tell us we had to flash them our boobs in the forest or they’d have Monique beat us up. We didn’t know any better. We wanted to be cool and liked.

I remember a specific incident where this guy Aaron had just gotten a cast removed on his leg and he was known for throwing water on you if we wore a white shirt. Why or how they thought this was ok beyond me. I had ENOUGH, he did it to me one last time and I kicked him HARD right in the cast-free leg. He fell to the floor and told me years later his leg never healed properly.

In grade 8 this guy James was razzing me to the point where I lost it. I dropped my books in the hallway and gave him a nasty right hook to the jaw. I had been in the Ontario Tae Kwon Do championships that weekend. My punch laid him flat out in the hallway. Mum was not happy I hit someone and said ‘you could get suspended‘ and my reply was ‘you think he’s going to tell anyone‘. Mum and I ran into him at a bar a few years ago and he said he still gets made fun of. That same asshole used to call me BBSB for ‘big boobs small body’.

I had a creepy geography teacher in grade 8 who used to massage the girls’ shoulders and look down their shirts. I feel like so many of us have had a man in a position of power, like a teacher, do something like this. It’s gross. I was 13.

In high school, I was on the youth city council working alongside city council to govern out issues. We opened a drop-in centre, skate park, and started a music festival. One of the city councillors sons at school kept calling me ‘fatty’ because I had ‘big’ fat tits. I hated it and him. One day at a basketball game I had ENOUGH. I punched him right in the face too. Violence is not the answer but I was young and it felt like it was the only thing I could do. Speaking out to a wasn’t going to help.

I’ll never forget my mum coming home from a high school parent-teacher interview and slamming the door hard behind her. She’d asked my counsellor to inform my teachers my dad had left recently and to keep an eye out of for a change in behaviour. When mum went to the interview, none of my teachers knew the situation, when she confronted the counsellor he replied ‘well I’ve been a bad bad boy haven’t I‘. SHE WAS LIVID.

I didn’t expect this post to be so long. It could be so much longer now that I’ve opened a few doors in my mind to things I’d been hiding back there or shaking off. Haven’t mentioned college, university, my first job, most jobs, and all the little things here and there like creeps on the subway or not feeling safe walking at night. I don’t feel like talking about that stuff right now.

This just scrapes the surface of the kind of bullshit we have to put up with because some men and boys haven’t learned how to be decent humans.

I am angry and sad but also feel good this is coming out. Hopefully, years from now, my own kids, or their kids, won’t have to deal with the bullshit all of us have for so long.

I’m here for you and with you. If you have a comment or want to share, you can email me or write below. Me too.

 

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IF YOU GOT IT HAUNT IT!🔮  Haunted Houses + Halloween Things 👻

I had a very Halloween weekend and it was so much FUN! 🎃🎈💉🔪⚰️

On Friday I went to Screemers at Exhibition Place with my sister. We put on zombie makeup, all black, and had a few spooky cocktails. There wasn’t really anyone else in costume so everyone thought we worked there. 👻 We took heaps of photos with randoms and spent a good part of the night scaring people. Seriously so fun. It was hilarious. We almost laughed our heads right off.

Screemers has 7 haunted houses and most are inside. They’re super scary. We didn’t do them all bc were too scared tbh. You can have drinks at the Vampire Lounge, there’s food onsite, and you can smoke outside.  I highly recommend paying the extra $12 for front of the line access. Screemers hooked up with passes and it made the night more fun because we didn’t have to wait! Screemers is $32.95 and +$12 for front of the line access. There is metered parking onsite. 💰💰


On Saturday Lauren and I went to Canada’s Wonderland for Halloween Haunt. The entire park is lit up for Halloween with hundreds of staff in costume creeping around corners and popping out all scary. I was super nervous going because the park is huge and the so are the haunted houses. There’s a lot of ground to cover.  A bunch of the rides are open so aside from scary people everywhere, the’s roaring rollercoasters soaring past your head. If you are not into being scared you can get a No Boo necklace and workers and creepy people won’t try to give you a fright.

There was haunted house experience called Blackout where it is literally pitch black and you have to walk through not knowing if someone is going to jump out at any minute or where you are going. Scary AF! We Chickened out of the 4D experience. It was a bit rainy so the corn maze was closed due to mud. I got thrown off my game a bit because we weren’t allowed to wear our makeup in the park and had to wipe some off. DO NOT DRESS UP FOR THIS ONE. Halloween Haunt is $35 or $45 for Fright Lane, front of the line passes. There were some pretty huge lines so get the upgrade if you can. Parking is $22. 💰💰💰


If you’re looking to get a few Halloween accessories and decorations I recommend Amazon Prime. I shared some new wigs I got about 2 weeks ago but I’ve ordered more stuff since!

I love this wig so much. Dusty Rose, $20!

Sean really wanted these masks and I think they’re hilarious. Doge is so funny, they were $20 each. I have a feeling these’ll be popular in the photo booth at our Halloweenen party.

Doge Mask            //            Pigeon Mask

Both Screemers and Canada's Wonderland hooked me up with tickets.

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Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come

I wore tights today for the first time this year. And a hat. I’m glad that berets are back in style because I have a few and love wearing them. It must be that French feeling you get when you wear one. Fall fashion is my favourite in that you can wear something cute with a light jacket and never be too cold. I don’t even mind the winter, light layers are the key.

‘There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing’
source is unclear on this one

Over the past couple months I’ve been beefing up my wardrobe with essentials for fall and a few arrived today! In exchange for sharing my favs, Romwe and I have a deal where they send me clothes. Honestly, what a dream! My three latest picks arrived today and I’m wearing the pink rose jacket in these photos.

I picked this wild all-over print shirt because it will look great over a bathing suit in summer and under a sweater in the winter. The olive green sweater was on my wishlist and it matches my eyes so, it’s perfect. The cropped rose jacket is light enough to wear under a warmer jacket in winter.

Other items on my winter Romwe wishlist are this yellow mustard jacket and all the stuff below. The prices are good and there’s no extra shipping costs. I’m kinda of obsessed with embroidered things, light pink, and dark green right now.

Wishlist


 

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An Old House on The Danforth

It had been ages since I was inside Broadview station. I used to go there all the time. The second Toronto house I lived in was on Playter Crescent, Danforth and Broadview. Playter Estates, it was beautiful. I moved in after ending a relationship and had been living in Fort Wayne, Indiana. My sister came to rescue me and take me home.  I was so thankful for her. For the first few months, I slept on a cot in the dining room. It wasn’t that bad, I was with my sister, in a big old house for the first time in ages, and I was back at my old job.

We lived in the big brown house on the left, top two floors. I eventually moved into my sister’s old room when she moved out. It had huge windows with full sun all day. It was bright and I love the morning sun. I think back to the two years I spent there with changing roommates. There were 4 bedrooms and at first, it was my sister and girls from school and by the end, it was me and a couple other roommates. We had so much fun living there. Hanging out with the neighbours. Sun tanning on the roof. I was nice to go back and remember those moments.

ttc gif pape station, casie stewart

I went to Pape Station on my way there and home via Broadview

 

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Finding a Friend in Yourself

The subway is kinda weird. I don’t mind the streetcar. I used to take TTC to work every day from Broadview station to Yorkdale, then a 15min bus to the office. It was my first job after university when I moved to Toronto. I remember writing TTC Tales on my morning commute and posting to the blog when I got to the office. On the way home I’d write about my day. I don’t think WordPress mobile had photo uploading back then. I used Picasa to upload and get a URL then added that to the HTML tab in WP-Admin. Those early days of blogging were what made me fall in love with journaling. I know it’s really helped me live a better life. I love looking back at people, places, things. It’s a great reminder of where you came from and good motivation for where you’re heading.

They say there are all kinds of benefits to writing and keeping a journal. I highly recommend it. It’s kinda like finding a friend in yourself. Although my diary is public, I’m often writing letters to my future self, talking through feelings, or making memory notes. A couple years ago my mum & her bf sailed to the Bahamas and lived there for a year. During that time I would write a lot of notes to her so she could read what I was up to when she had wifi. Hi Mum!


There’s a lady’s crotch fairly close to my face, she’s wearing a pager and reading a medical paper. Someone who really smells like BO just came near me. Thank god this is my stop. xo

 

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Make friends. Make moments. Make memories.

Had a great weekend after my super relaxing day on Friday. Saturday morning I went to yoga at 8:45 am, then came home and went to the Yoga & Wellness show w/ Sarah. It was pretty small so we walked around the whole show and went for lunch. I bought a beautiful rose quartz/gold/sandalwood bracelet. We walked to Terroni and got a gorgeous little table by the window upstairs. I ate the Saturday Special lasagna (my fav) and washed it down with a nice glass of wine. It was perfect.

The last year or so I’ve been trying to make more time for my friends not to just hang out but to hang out in pairs/small groups, to talk, listen, and make memories. For so long I spent heaps of time going to events and not really listening or opening up. I feel so grateful to have smart & talented people around and I wanna cherish that. I may not see some of my good friends all the time but when we do hang out, it’s magical.

Last week I went over to visit my friend Sasha who just had a baby and the other week I sat down with an old friend for a tarot reading. So energizing!


If you’re ever having a bad day, or want to make your good day better, write down 3 friends you haven’t seen in a while, call them. If one doesn’t answer, call the next! You’ll feel a smile on their face when you say hello and you’ll both feel an electric charge. 

 

 

Sandy at YogaYoga gave me the yoga show tickets! Check out her studio. I love it there so much. Thanks girl!     
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Yesterday I had such a lovely afternoon. Earlier in the week I was looking my schedule and feeling overwhelmed. This entire month has been so busy. I’ve got a sore foot (long story) and decided to cancel attending an event I had planned for Friday. Then wen online and booked a couple treatments at Hammam Spa instead! I love it there because of the steam room. I can lay in that place for hours. According to Hammam it has been over a year since I treated myself to a visit. I arrived about 15 min early to leisurely get changed and have a few minutes to steam my stress out before my massage. It was so nice.

After, I went back to the office to meet Sean and we took Emily to an art show. The artist, an old friend of his, Jonathan Craig was showing ‘Abell on Noble‘ photos of 48 Abell before demolition back in 2011, curated by Bridget Light. That building was a legendary space for so many people, a hub of artists, creatives, and other interesting characters. It’s condos now. 

We picked up two from the collection. One photo I really wanted was sold but it said ‘NANCY IS A CUNT‘ on a wall in marker. Apparently, Nancy was the landlord and everyone hated her. When Jonathan went through the building with his camera and another landlord (man) they found the ‘message’. That landlord man from 48 Abell was also the one from Noble Street Studios, so when we walked into Jonathan’s show, he said ‘THAT ONE’S MINE’.



Last night, when we got home, I watched Will & Grace on my iPad in bed, while scrolling my phone, eating snacks. Then I caught up o Young & The Restless and fell asleep on the couch.  

Sometimes the most joy is in the simplest things!

I love this quote and general life reminder from my old friend Anne Donahue, she tweeted it last night:

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It is no secret that I love Halloween. Every year my friends and I dress up for as many outings as we can. October 1st is Saturday which also happens to be Nuit Blanche. I will 100% be kicking off All Hallow’s Month with some type of elaborate costume.

One year I was practising zombie makeup at 10:30am on a Tuesday, then decided to go get groceries, about 2 weeks before Halloween. I got heaps of stares with my scary face but I loved every single minute of it. Thank goodness for the internet because I was able to find a selfie from that exact moment. 


This year, I got the jump on Halloween supplies via Amazon. I ordered a bunch of new wigs and decorations last week. FYEAH Prime! I’m not sure exactly what costumes these wigs will be for but I don’t really care! Bring on all the costumes!

Find my wings here Blonde WigBrunette Wig / Pink Party Wig


I’m planning to have a few friends over the weekend before Halloween for some spooky spirits and a haunted photo booth. The backdrop I ordered via Amazon Prime arrived today and it’s perfect! Earlier this year I ordered a backdrop stand and we have it set up in the living room ready to go. Halloween Headshots all month! 


Took this at the Zombie Walk a few years ago!

👻Don't wanna SPOOK ya! Post contains Amazon Affiliate links!

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You are one yoga class away from a better mood.

I’ve missed a lot of yoga classes thing month due to work. My schedule is usually pretty chill but the last 4 weeks have been non-stop events, travel, and work w/ 1188. It has been really fun but also very exhausting. I’ve been hustling pretty hard, up early in the morning to get blog things done before heading to the office, working on things late at night, rinse repeat.

Today I went to an event, had some chats, a meeting, and was really not in a good mood after. I missed doing something kinda fun due to the meeting. It was hot. I was tired. I was being snarky to my bf. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine all the time, ok? I was laying on the bed in my yoga clothes, thinking about bailing when I got off my ass and out the door.

The hot, fresh air, riding my bike to class felt so nice. I felt free. The sun was shining bright and lighting up the studio as I walked in. I was already glad to be there. Our class was hot and sweaty, I worked hard. I breathed right into my back, side ribs and let the air out slowly. It’s amazing what a good yoga class will do.

Sending love & sunshine, 

YOGA YOGA, JUNCTION TRIANGLE

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So Long Sweet Summer 2017 ☀️

This weekend was so lovely. Spent a bunch of time sitting outside staring at the lake. Went out on my stand-up paddleboard. Had a great BBQ and family dinner. Pie and Kawartha Dairy vanilla ice cream. Slept in. Took naps. New book. Drank hot coffee & read magazines in the still morning sun. The weather was the best we’ve had all summer.

Let’s hope we have a few more great days. Soak up that sunshine. Let it charge your batteries!

Here’s to a great week!

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It was SOOOOO nice out yesterday. Bikes down to the office. Put in some directors notes on a spot then packed up and met Lauren in the park. There were heaps of people hanging out and enjoying what’s left of summer. 

Look for my face on Queen West!

This weekend we’re up at the cottage for what is looking like the best weekend of the year. Got a cute mani yesterday. Can’t wait to take my SUP board out on the lake. 

Here’s to a great weekend w/ lots of laughs, love, and sunshine! ☀️❤️✌🏼

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As you know, I have been tweeting about/obsessed with Amazon (see all tweets) since a year ago when I forgot to cancel my Amazon Prime trial. Not cancelling Prime was one of the best things to happen and my life has honestly been better with Amazon. So…they took notice! I’ve been invited to join the Amazon.ca Associate Partner Program!

What does that mean? When I find something cool on Amazon and post it like I’ve been doing for a decade. Posts with products from Amazon will have an Affiliate link, meaning if you buy it from my link, I make a few cents. I don’t ask for much around here, so y’know, think of it as a tip! I’ve stayed away from Affiliate programs in the past, but I seriously love Amazon and am mostly sharing things I’ve already purchased.

The 2-day shipping is so convenient, I get everything sent to the office. I’ve ordered a few things each month for the past year.  I also can’t WAIT for Amazon Whole Foods to launch in Canada. Think of all the possibilities?! And Snacks!

Try Amazon Prime free for 30 days!


A Few of My Favourite Amazon Purchases

This is one of my fav wearable accessories. I love my FitBit but I felt like the band on my AltaHR wasn’t stylish enough. I ordered this band from Amazon for $24.99, get it here.

Rose Gold FitBit Band, casie stewart

Rose Gold FitBit Band


When I was in LA in January I was hanging out in Venice Beach and this bkr water bottle was so popular. I came home and ordered it right away. It’s glass with a removable BPA-Free Silicone Sleeve and loop handle. I have been taking it with me to yoga and the office since I got it. Ordered a second one since I’ve been going to the gym heaps lately. Hydration is so hot rn. Find it on Amazon for $32 and get it in 2 days w/ Prime.


This Belkin tassel charger is one of my favourite tech accessories. I have it in tan and black. I keep it on my everyday purse and it’s been a lifesaver. It’s real leather and gives a powerful charge because it’s a Belkin.

It comes in pink, black, gold (tan leather), or silver and is $41 as a single item (black) or the tan one is $6.99 as an add-on item w/ Prime orders over $25.

 


I’m stoked about this bc I love Amazon and how they’re taking over online shopping. The future is NOW! Last night I ordered a BUNCH of Halloween things and will be posting about those next!

Stoked to be part of the Amazon.ca Associates Program as a Partner. Honestly, if you put your mind to it (or tweet at someone enough they will notice you and) anything can happen. 

Thanks for following along and always supporting me. 🖤

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It’s In The Cards

Today was so much fun. I’m feeling really excited and inspired this week. It’s one of the busiest few days I’ve had in a long time with a different job each day and 3 different cities but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

I met up with a blog OG friend Danielle Meder, who recently started Drawing Tarot where she combines ‘a thoughtful Tarot reading with a live watercolour portrait session‘. Mine portrait is above and I framed it when I got home. The reading was just what I needed today, this week. I’d like to go back again in a month or so. You can book an appointment to see her at the Darling Mansion or her studio near the Junction Triangle here.

Danielle Meder, Drawing Tarot

Tonight I bailed on going to anything TIFF so I could stay home and put in a few hours on a presentation and get a good sleep. I have no FOMO only JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) because I know that self-care is important and if I don’t take care of my priorities, I’ll lose my mind.


This week is a crazy one, especially after my very relaxing summer. Monday was filled with TIFF stuff and celebrities (Justin Trudeau, Angelina Jolie!). Today I was the #LifeandTech event with Best Buy Canada. Wednesday morning I’m at a top secret event then head to Montreal on the train for the night. I fly back to Toronto early Thursday morning then to New Orleans, Louisiana in the afternoon. On Friday morning  I’m speaking at a conference and fly back to Toronto in the evening. On Saturday I’m in front of the camera for a commercial and Sunday I am doing N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

Cutest entry way, also GOLD STAIRS and the whole inside is pretty & pink!

Popped into Studio Fitzroy today, my favourite dress boutique to rent a dress for my talk on Friday. Took my sister with me to show her around and get her opinion. It was so fun looking at all the dresses together!


 

Sending sunshine wherever you are. Remember to take care of yourself and don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of what you truly want to do in this life. You can make anything happen if you throw all your energy at it.

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