Yesterday I was rushing around after being in ‘cottage mode’ for the last few days. I have a bunch of work to get done and will be hustling into the night to get things done by tomorrow. Today is crunch time before Thursday. Tomorrow, Embot and I are going to Vancouver for a shoot on Friday, then home Saturday. Next week I’ve got a big client presentation w/ 1188 and a speaking gig. Safe to say, I’ll be spending a lot of time at my computer until then.
I think one of the most important things I’ve learned to manage over the past few years of not having a ‘regular‘ full-time job is BALANCE. You can easily get caught up in doing all the work and/or going to all the things.
Before the start of this year, I knew I needed to make a change. I was feeling uninspired, unhealthy, and my brain was dull and clouded. I considered quitting my blog and whenever that happens, I KNOW it’s time for change. After my solo trip to LA in January, I came back feeling renewed and inspired. I mentioned the sound bath I went to and how it really made an impact on me. I started back at yoga end of January and have been averaging 3-4 times a week since. I book my classes at the start of the week and in order for me to miss a class, it has to be work or something I really want to go to.
I used to spend so much time going to events, sometimes more than 2 night but those days are few and far between lately. I’ve had to prioritize my time and that involves staying home, going to yoga, cooking, sitting on the couch, reading, drinking less, getting sleep. I think I’d tuckered myself out by the end of last year and it really got me down. Since January I’ve made planning my me-time a priority.
My happy place is laying here on my mat after a great yoga class.
BALANCE is getting ice cream after yoga!
I biked to yoga again this morning and feel super energized to kick some a$$ today. I’m really excited to take Emily to Vancouver tomorrow. It’s our first solo girls trip together. First, of many hopefully!
Remember to make time for yourself, you can’t just do work or else you won’t have room for inspiration.
Found this in an alley near my house the other day. I would be kinda annoyed if this was my wall but I also like the message.
This is a little reminder that you can do anything you want. Just go, get up off the couch and DO IT. Want to start a blog? Make one. Be an enrtepreneur? Do something every day to bring you closer to your goal. There is nothing standing in your way other than your own self-doubt, fear, or anxiety. Not having time or money is not an excuse. Face whatever is holding you back, head on, and make a change.
There’s no point wasting your time and energy doing something you don’t want to do. Life is short and every day you should do something that makes you happy.
I originally drew this back in 2009. It was around the time I quit a job I didn’t want to do anymore. I wasn’t allowed to do use social media at work since it wasn’t part of my job (they blocked Twitter & Facebook!). I’d removed time stamps from my blog as to hide when things were posted. I quit that job to do social at Much/MTV and have never looked back.
Since then, if I find myself in a situaion where I don’t want to do whatever it is, I quit. I find a way to get out of it or change it into something I do actually want to do.
Make the most of each day. You’ll never be younger than you are right now. 😊
It’s crazy and mind opening to go back into my life diary and see things I made and not really remember creating them. Imagine 10 years from now, scrolling back to read the diary you started today?
There’s a lot of benefits as you may know, to keeping a journal (here’s 10). I started mine, mostly to keep more memories and it has totally worked. Writing this blog has helped my memory, writing, self-discipline, and it’s pretty good therapy (for the record!).
In the last 12 years I’ve grown from a wild post-uni 20-something to an adult doing real things. Still kinda wild tho! I had no idea what this (journal) would turn into when I started, or back in 2009 when I took this photo and wrote words on it. I’m really glad I didn’t give up all those times I thought about it.
Randomly found the 2009 photo below while searching (for something else) in my blog yesterday. I’ve taken so many photos and written a ton of things, sometimes I actually inspire myself!
I guess what I’m saying is, anything is possible and you can find
a lot of inspiration in your own archives.
This past week was a hard one for me. Actually, this entire month has been a challenge, I’ve been on the verge of a meltdown since May 2017 started with birthday anxiety. I had a trip to Jamaica that started with an allergic reaction in my eyes, where I couldn’t see that well, it rained heaps, I missed my bf, and I got my period. When I got home I was overwhelmed with anxiety about work I needed to get done, and it was a short week. I went to the 1188 office every day to get the music video I directed wrapped up, and didn’t really have time to work (at home like usual) on blog things. The week finished week with a full day on set. I was so tired.
Finally, on Saturday, it happened. I legit had a meltdown. Our car had a problem with the tire so I rented a car for the afternoon with my car sharing app and left around 11:15 to make it to Scarborough by 12:15. Well, no, that wasn’t happening. It took me 45 min to get to the DVP (highway downtown for non-TO peeps) and by then I was feeling super stressed after leaving the house in a huff w/ Sean. Then mum called and it opened the floodgates to me balling my eyes out, stuck in traffic. It seemed like everything around me was collapsing. Then, it started raining and the event I was about to drive an hour to was canceled. BUT, I was already on the DVP and still in traffic. I took a few deep breaths and decided to get off the highway. Didn’t really know where I was heading but the end goal was home.
I decided to put on the Lumineers album and for the next 30 minutes, drove past Yorkdale, down the Allen to Eglington, singing and crying loudly in the car. (I laugh about it now but at the time I was really feeling at a loss and wondering what to do with my life.)
I don’t have those days very often but they happen. I get anxiety about all kinds of things and get down and into a dark place every now and then. It’s hard to manage sometimes and those days I find it really hard to be an ‘internet person’. I don’t feel like sharing or putting on a smile, pretending everything is ok.
I’ve written 10+ posts over the years titled ‘Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like It‘ when I don’t want to blog anymore. Writing through it helps me deal. I like going back to read them when I get in a mood and it helps me know it’s ok to feel that way and I’ll be ok.
I’ve wanted to quit a bunch of times and each time, when I push through whatever it is I’m feeling, and don’t give up, something good happens.
After I finally got home from my 2.5 hour tour of the city, I rode my bike over to yoga for a popup Sandy was hosting. It was the turning point. I had a mini massage, brows done, tarot card reading, wrote some postcards, and got a beautiful bouquet w/ pink & yellow peonies to bring home.
We left for the cottage shortly after. The next day, I spent a good chunk of time outside doing yard work w/ Sean, enjoying the sunshine, making food, and laughing together. It was the reset I needed.
Today I felt totally renewed and open to anything that came my way. I’ve found that if I don’t have time to rest my mind, body, and thoughts, I can’t even deal with anything. I also really enjoy my alone time. It helps me recharge.
This isn’t a sponsored thing, I was inspired because Wear Your Label is about ending the stigma around mental illness and May is Meltal Health Month. Honestly, it’s pretty easy to act all smiley for Instagram or whatever but I’m a real human with feelings and the world only sees my life when the sun is out. Sean sometimes says I use all my sunshine up on the internet and he gets the salty version of me. (I’m sorry babe!)
So, here’s an official invite from me to you. The event is at Wednesday 6-8:30pm at Joe Fresh on Queen/Portland and hosted by Wear Your Label. You get 25% off regular priced stuff and one of the exclusive collab hats w/ purchase (see above, all the feels). 50% of the sales will be donated to the Canadian Mental Heath Association in support of mental health in Canada.
I’d love to hug some new and/or familiar faces and share some sunshine with you. The FB event is here.
Most of all, I want to remind you that if you have anxiety or you feel like you can’t even deal anymore or deal one day, remember that it will pass. And it WILL get better. Mum says that’s when you probably need to go and take a nap (and she is usually right!)
I remind myself all the time, the hardest part is THROUGH but YOU CAN DO IT. And you will. And you will be awesome at it.
P.S. It’s also totally ok to drive around loud cry singing to yourself. It actually felt pretty good. This is the song where the title comes from/one I was singing to.
Don't give up on yourself, you're stronger than that.
Had a great morning yoga session today. Feeling energized and have a jam packed day ahead. Saturday I’m going to Jamaica for a week. It’s the first time in years I’m going on a vacation-vacation that isn’t work. YAY!
I’m travelling with @Lovesey as his guest and we’re gonna have SO MUCH FUN. We did Route 66 last year with Arizona Tourism then went hiking Sedona together. It was magical. Really looking forward to hot sun, beaches, and the food! 🇯🇲
Posted the image below in my IG Story the other day and wanted to share here. Got a message from someone after posting who said it was just what they needed at the time. She mentioned theres a few people around her always shouting about their ‘success’, and I reminded her that’s often a sign they’re not really as successful as they seem. Actions speak louder than words and if you have success, it shows.
I’ve always thought it’s better to talk about things you’ve done rather than going off about things you plan to do. Talk is cheap, baby. I love sharing my work and life but you usually don’t know about something until it’s happened!
Work hard. stay humble. The race is long and in the end it’s only with yourself.